Chapter 2: A Saviour? Or My Worse Nightmare

STACY

My mother tells me she has a boyfriend.

They’re engaged.

Engaged.

The word sounds so wrong. So out of place and the worse part was she couldn’t even tell me.

She loved Dad.

I know she did.

She said it—over and over again.

Right? That was love wasn't it?

So what changed?

Or was it all just… words?

No.

No, that’s not possible.

You don’t just stop loving someone like that.

You don’t just wake up one day and forget.

It’s only been three years.

Three.

How is that enough time to erase a person?

To replace them?

Or maybe I’m the only one still holding on.

“ Stacy I—” I raise a hand to stop her before she can continue.

“ I need to be alone, please.” She doesn't say anything more but I see the way her hands drop to her sides, the sadness and regret that pools in her eyes.

A tinge of guilt prickles my skin, but I ignore it, walking out the door. “ Where are you going? It's late and you can get hurt!”

“ Why do you care?”

“ I'm your mother! It's my right! I have to care! And I will not let you walk through that door.”

“ Watch me.” Before she can take another step, I slam the door behind me and run away to the only place I could go— Nika’s house.

As my feet march against the ground, the cold air of the night creeps into my skin but I don't stop running. If mother thought I was going to just agree to her silly marriage without a second thought then she has another thing coming.

On reaching Nika's place, my steps slow as I slip my phone out of my pocket, sending a text.

I'm here, open up!

What!!

She pushes her bedroom window open and her eyes seem to light up when she sees me. “ Hold on! I'll be right there!” She shuts the window and I hear the sound of footsteps pounding against wooden floor boards then shortly after, the door opens and she runs to me, taking me in her arms.

“ You came here! I honestly thought I would just send you the dress then you probably don't show up— as usual.” She adds the last part with a small smile, I reciprocate even though I don't want to.

I want to do anything but smile right now.

Hell, I want to ball my freaking eyes out.

My world is slipping through my fingers, and there’s nothing I can do.

“Stace… is everything okay?” She stares at me, slowly reaching up to wipe away the salty tears threatening to fall.

I crumble into her hold, my lips whimpering as the tears come rolling down. She pulls me in, her hold tightens around me as she strokes my hair gently.

Carefully, she walks me inside and sits with me on the couch, her hold doesn't falter. Not once.

“ My mother is getting married!” Her lips part, a breathless gasp escapes.

“ What do you mean by getting married? I thought she said she wouldn't? How did you find out?” She asks and I tell her everything, struggling to not choke on my breath but failing miserably.

“ Was this how you felt when your mum did it too?”

Her eyes grow dark and I instantly regret those words. “ I'm sorry— I didn't mean to.”

“ It's fine. But you need to cheer up! You need to have fun!”

“ Where?”

“ At the party of course!”

“ We're going?”

“ Of course we are!” She stands, extending her hands towards me. “ Come on, let's get you dressed.”

I want to refuse.

I really do.

But right now, I need the alcohol so I take her hand as she takes me upstairs to get me dressed.

______

We’re ready.

At least that's what Nika told me.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror, the girl that stares back wears a blue tank top, a black leather jacket and a short black skirt, my brown hair falls over my shoulders in subtle waves.

I look good.

I look sexy.

But I don't feel like it.

“ Come on, let's have fun.” She says as she takes me to her car and drives me to the location of the party as we step down from the car, I can't stop my lips from widening.

The air reeks of smoke, alcohol and sin. Unholy by Sam Smith rattles the small story building as some people— no students, slow sexed to the music, whilst others were playing party games and a few more were just dancing.

“ Are you sure we're supposed to be here?” I ask, my grip tightens itself around the seat belt.

Nika takes my hand. “ You don't need to come out if you don't want to, I can just get you whatever you want. Juice, Alcohol, I'll get it for you.”

As much as I want to accept that offer. I know Nika wants to have fun and me doing that will ruin her plans, so with a deep exhale, I removed the seat belt and alight from the car.

She leads me to a bar and asked the bartender to give me the strongest drink. She stands by as I take small sips, her gaze not leaving me.

I sigh, facing her. “ Don't worry about me, just go have fun with your friends. I'll be here. Promise.”

“ Are you sure?” I nod and she gives me a gentle squeeze on my shoulder to comfort me and slowly she walks away, mingling with the crowd, occasionally shooting glances my way.

Tilting the tumbler, I place between my lips, letting the bitter sensation roll down my throat. It burns, it burns so bad— but I need it.

Right now, I don't want to be sane.

I don't want to see this bitter world that surrounds me, this deafening silence that seems to choke me.

As the liquid comes to a stop, I tap the tumbler against the counter, swiping the alcohol off my lips. “ Again.”

He doesn't object.

He does the mixing and pours the liquid into the tumbler— I don't know what it is, but I do know one thing, it'll make me forget the things I saw tonight.

Stirling the liquid shortly, I down it in one gulp.

“ Again!”

“ I think you should take a break, you're getting pale.”

“ Again!!” I snap, slamming my palm against the table. He hands me another glass which I chug down, swiping the tears that seem to fall from my eyes.

With each drink I take, the side of my eyes seem to blacken till I can barely see straight, sweat droplets roll down my forehead. My body trembles, my fingers grip the counter for support.

“ Again.” My voice strains as the word scrapes out of my parched throat. But this time he refuses and asks me to take a break.

Banging the counter I walk out the bar, my footsteps unsteady, my breath thick with the stench of alcohol, the night air grazes my skin leaving goosebumps in its wake.

My finger digs into my scalp, frustration racks through me as the memories of the time when we were together comes crashing down on me, drowning me and I don't think I want to be saved.

I miss a few steps, constantly gripping onto something— a pole, a bench, a sign, I can't tell— everything's blurry.

“ Hey bro, do you see her?” A voice says, I can't recognise the person or point out where it's coming from.

“ She's so hot. Maybe even hotter beneath.” Another says and I start to wonder if I'm the one they're talking about or maybe I'm hallucinating.

“ It's been a while since I've had a good fuck.” Another guy says and slowly I begin to quicken my pace. I don't know where I'm going, I can barely see my surroundings but I have to run.

Panic washes over, making adrenaline pump through my blood stream. My footsteps are quick, almost feather light, but I keep running, my heart racing in my throat.

A hand grabs onto me, the firmness of the person's grasp is nowhere comforting and it makes fear run through me. “ Let me go! Let me freaking go!”

“ What makes you think you can run away from us?” His hand grazes my chin so slowly, it makes my skin crawl from disgust. “ You're much hotter up close.” My vision clears, just slightly and I see him roll his tongue over his lips, looking down at me the way a lion did its prey.

The other two men earlier reach us, their faces set in an expression which I can't decipher. The smell of cigarettes and drugs fill the air, choking me as I try to free myself from their grasps but they're holding only tightens as they push my back against the wall.

“ Trying to run, too bad there's nowhere for you to go.” One breathes on my neck, making my toes curl. His hand lowers to the hem of my already short dress.

I feel the material of my skirt ride up my lap and I once again try to release myself, but I get a slap in return, my hair slaps against my face, my teeth slams into my lower lip drawing blood.

A desperate cry for help scrapes past my throat but no one hears me, no one sees me. Why isn't anyone coming? Maybe I should just accept it.

Maybe it'll make me forget.

My head lowers as his fingers reach my panties, he's about to rip them off but someone takes hold of his collar and peels him off me, slamming a fist into the guy's face.

I can't see who it is.

But I don't know if he's my saviour or my worst nightmare.