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Chapter 32 - Forgetting
Cailen decided not to dwell on anything for too long.
It never helped and it only made more people worry about him.
So Cailen ignored the way he'd rather just lay in bed than go hang out with the boys.
He ignored the way it feel like a chore to smile most of the time. He ignored all the urges that had him wanting to escape, to just be alone with himself so he didn't have to pretend like he was okay, so he didn't have to act like another person.
He loved his family and he loved his friends. That's why he was doing what he was doing. But he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to live in a world where he could be himself- his true self and not have to worry about losing the people he cared about.
He wondered what it would be like to talk to William about boys, or even Stella since she'd probably be a little more interested.
He wondered what it would be like to bring a guy home on Christmas to me
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A Place To Call Home Chapter 33 - Under A Microscope
Cailen wantsome peace and quiet.Not that he didn't like hanging out with the boys but lately,he just felt off.He felt like he was being watched, his every move being analyzed, his every word trying to be deciphered like it had some hidden meaning even he wasn't aware of.He honestly just felt trapped, like there was nowhere he could go where there wasn't someone watching him or asking him questions.He wasn't sure if he was just paranoid or not but he felt like maybe,someone suspected something.What exactly that was, he wasn't so sure.It was just that Williamwas coming into his room at night a lot, asking him if there was anything he wanted to tell him or talk about.Cailenwould always say no, of course, and when that happened,Williamwould either assure him that he could tell him anything or he would open up about something that was apparently bothering him.Cailen&nbs
A Place To Call Home Chapter 34 - Without Telling
"No,"Cailenanswered, looking into his lap where his fingers began fiddling with each other."Okay,"Ashersaid simply, crawling over the bed to sit by him. "You don't have to talk, but can I?" He asked."Something bothering you?" Cailenasked, feeling a little guilty.Everyone's been so concerned with him, himself included, that he never bothered to check in on Asheronce in a while."No, not- Well, sort of... I guess,"Asheranswered, leaning back against the headboard of the bed.The thing with Asheris that Cailenconstantly haveto remind himself how to act around him. Right now,he wanted to hugAsher, maybe kiss him until the frown on his face disappeared and assure him that whatever it was, was going to be okay.But that's not what friend's do, not really."What is it?" Cailenencouraged, squelching the urge to reach out tohim."W
A Place To Call Home Chapter 35 - Secrets No One Can Know
He almost broke down and told them because the looks they were giving him were so hopeful and sincere and he knew they thought they meant it.He knew they thought they were telling the truth but they had no idea what they were promising to do.They had no idea what secret Cailenwas keeping. They had no idea what part of himself he was hiding from them and when they found out, he knew they wouldn't be able to fulfill their promises and he wouldn't blame them.He also could tell they suspected something.He wasn't that thick and neither were they. They've all been acting odd this summer, Cailenincluded, and maybe it was only because he was acting odd but it didn't matter.They knew there was something going with him; they probably just didn't realize how big it was and how much it could change their lives."Anything you want to tell us?" Matthewasked,and there it was.The same question they've been
A Place To Call Home Chapter 36 - A Piece Of Paper
As Cailensat on his bed,he couldn't help but wonder if Asherwas okay.He seemed pretty upset when he left and it wasn't like him to make excuses to not hang out with them. He didn't know what was going on between him and William.Maybe Williamknew something Cailendidn't or maybe Williamthought there was something to know,just like he thought there was with him, but he really had no idea.Cailendidn't understand why Williamwas trying to interfere the way he was. He didn't understand why Matthewand Noahwere trying to help him either.There was a lot he didn't understand right now but he really only had one concern at the moment.Digging into his pocket, Cailenpulled out his phone and opened the messenger app, scrolling to Asher's name and typing out a quick message to see if he was okay.He only hesitated for a second when he thought that maybe Asherwas u
A Place To Call Home Chapter 37 - Few Steps Forward
"Is this...""I could only find two people with the same name that lived here the year you were born. They've both moved, though I'm not sure if those are current addresses or not,"Edenexplained, taking a seat beside Cailen."If you know how old she is, then we'll be able to tell which is her,"she went on,but he was still stuck on the fact that he had her information in front of him.One of these people was his biological mother.He could possibly go talk to his biological mother."She was fifteen when she had me,"Cailenmumbled, still a little shocked.Edenthought for a moment as he stared down at the paper.ArabellaRavenCosswas born May 23rd, 1971 and now lived in Doughnel, or at least that was her last known address. ArabellaFreya Cosswas born February 16th, 1976 and her last known address was in Hamdover.There wasn't any other information
A Place To Call Home Chapter 38 - Out Of The Ordinary
"...Clingy, you know?" Cailenheard Asher's voice come into earshot as he descended the staircase.Noahmust have called him over when he was in the shower. He wasn't planning on eavesdropping, he was planning on going right in but then he heard his name and he just kind of stopped outside the kitchen."Caiwon't- I mean, like- I don't know,"Ashersighed and even though he couldn't see him or who he was talking to, he could imagine Ashershaking his head in frustration. "No one likes clingy, Wil,"Ashercontinued.He wasn't sure what was worse.The fact that Asherwas talking about him behind his back or that he was talking to Williamabout him behind his back."True... Maybe just distance yourself?" Williamsuggested.Cailencould feel something bubbling inside him, though he couldn't put a name onit.Betrayal, maybe. Hurt could definitelybe used t
A Place To Call Home Chapter 39 - Drunk Tongue, Sober Heart
"Caileeenn!" Ashersaid, dragging out his name and ending it in a chuckle.The girlhuffed and snatched her hand away, spinning around and stumbling over to another bloke leaning against the wall. At least he didn't have to feel too bad about shooting her down.Asheradjusted himself on the couch, flipping so he was on his back with his head in Cailen'slap.There was something off about him.There was a flush in his cheeks and his pupils were blown out. He had a dopey grin on his face and his movements were sloppy.If he didn't know any better,he'd say Asherwas drunk but he did know better so he was slightly confused."Caileeenn," Ashersaid again. Only this time,it was more of a whine."Yes?" he asked, smiling fondly down at the boywhose head ison his lap.He wasn't able to help himself. Asherwas adorable like this-all giddy and cuddly. It's not
A Place To Call Home Chapter 40 - First Kiss
"Yeah, yeah, I know. But you gotta let me go so I can get in,"Cailenexplainedand pacified Asher, pulling himself awayand Asher's arms dropping to his side with a small pout.Asherpouted for as long as it took him to circle the truck and hop into the driver's seat. When he was buckled in,Asherrolled his head to the side, smiling at him who returned it because he couldn't not return it.Asher reached for his hand,flippedit andthread their fingers together whilejust continuouslysmilingat him.Cailenfelt the heat rushing to his cheeks and was a little confused as to what was going on. But then he realized Asherhimself probably didn't know what was going on so he just went with it, squeezing Asher's hand and sending him a smile before starting up the truck and pulling away from the curb.The drive wasn't long but Asherseemed to grow bored and started f
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- A Place To Call Home Chapter 118 - Their Daughters
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