CRIPPLED

A year of the pandemic, issues had risen and made all citizens feel rage, oppressed, fear, and all then injustices prevail. Politicians now moved their pawns on a chessboard. Ang daming nasasakripisyong buhay dahil sa mga abusadong nasa kapangyarihan.

Kaliwa’t kanan ang pagkukundina at pagkritismo sa iba’t ibang social media platforms. Mga pulis na walang awang binaril sa ulo ang mag-ina. Mga kadeteng nag-aaral ng kriminolohiya nakapanig sa pagkitil ng mga pulis sa mga inosente dahil daw ginalit ito.

Mga gago.

Sa pagkalap ng maraming hate speech online, gumawa na naman ang hakbang ang mga nasa gobyerno. Nagpasa ng batas na patahimikin ang publiko.

Youths who oppose the government red-tagged as terrorists. Many people are angered, likewise many turned to idolize the current administration.

What the hell.

++

Hinanda ko na ang mga delatang galing ayuda. Magluluto ako ngayon ng bagong recipe. Di ko nga lang alam ang tawag. Binuksan ko na ang saridinas at dinurog ang mga alam sa isang bowl. Naghanda na rin ako ng noodles at isinantabi mga sauce nito. Nang lumambot na ang noodles tinanggalan ko ng natirang tubig tsaka nilagay ang mantika na kasama sa sauce package nito. Isinunod ko ang scrambled egg at hinalo-halo. Isinunod ko ang sardinas at panghuli ay ang dahon ng kamote.

After a few minutes. Tapos na. Inaya ko ng kumain ang tatay.

--

Mom had been always pushing me to do something that could make money instant. That the world is in chaos so why am I still taking up the course I wanted.

Pandemic has been evolving every year. The variants of the virus is evolving and the Philippines has been regulating lockdown on and off for almost a decade now. Its been already 7 years.

And my last year in law school made me think, what law is for in today’s time?

Yes, we need an order. Yet things seem to get out of hand.

I had met few people online now since the whole set-up is online and if lockdown is lifted I could go outside to meet and attend my errands.

I am earning too, freelance and home-based set up. I started working on a law firm as an intern with allowance. After college, I build up my skill and in no time I decided to take up law since online setup din naman. It’s tough to do freelancing and home-based jobs and study law at the same time. Nakakabaliw. Wala ng boundary sa personal at professional na buhay mo.

The time has becoming perilous, each and everyday sa news maraming nababalita sa mga isyung politikal. Ang China gumagawa na ng hakbang sa mga dagat ng pilipinas. Maraming mangingisdang naapektuhan at naapakan ang kanilang mga karapatan. Sa trabaho ko nama’y mga isyung legal na kung minsa’y nakakawalan na ng gana. Law is only in effect if the perpetrators are poor.

I remember the famous senator violated the covid 19 protocol, he paved the way in the hospital without wearing any mask and he is actually a carrier of the virus. The judicial system pardoned him as he is attending to the needs of his wife and that he don’t know that he is the carrier when that happened.

But to those ordinary people, they are fined and imprisoned.

++

In the middle of groceries, kapansin-pansing may mga Chinese translation ng bawat mga produkto. O kung mas nararapat sabihin ang mandarin ay may translation na tagalog. At di nalang pailan-ilang ang mga nakikitang chinese dito sa metro manila. Halos lahat na, bansa bakasyunan. Napatawa ako.

Wala na rin kasing choice. Kung may maglalakas lang talagang manindigan, mukhang wala na non. Kahit ako, naubos nalang bigla yung pangara kong yun.

As I was busy reading the translation of the nutrition facts of a product, there bump a man in his forties. He fixed his glasses and slightly bowed saying “Gomen'nasai”

I guess he said sorry. Watching anime on the sideline can be handy in a situation like this. I just smiled at him and told him it’s okay.

“No no no” He keeps chanting. Gagi nakakatakot naman to. I bowed slightly and leave him there and immediately head towards the meat section. Last na to at pipila na ako sa cashier.

Medyo nananakit na din binti ko kakahintay, paano ba naman, pinapagalitan ng chinese ang cashier na pinay. Di daw sya maintindihan. Eh ang gago ba naman, kala ba nila bansa nila to? At pinatawag pa mismong manager, eh ang kaso pilipino din. Kaya pinalipat nalang kami ng ibang kahera mukhang uumagahin sila sa pagtatalo jan.

Natapos ko ng bayaran mga napamili ko at paalis na sana ng may biglang pumigil sa mga braso ko.

I looked back and saw a man in the grocery in his forties. Hindi naman sya mukhang mang-iiscam.

Heto na naman ba tayo Angelie? Di ka na ba nadala sa mga hinuhang yan?

I politely get his hands out of my arms and bowed and immediately leave the mall.

What was that?

I arrived home and fix myself as I decided to have my bath. I did my routine and after I get dressed. I settled myself on my chair in front of my desktop. I remove the charger of my phone and check any emails from my job.

Out of curiosity, I tapped the email I had before when I was still in college.

There I saw thousands of emails from promotions and subscriptions of different sites.

However, what pokes my interest is the email of the Philippine Army.

The subject of the email summarizes the main point them sending me this: PATRIOTS WANTED

My heart pounded.

I don’t know, I can’t pinpoint if it's trauma or hope for my longtime dream.

I opened the email and it said the moment I will read the mail, it will automatically be deleted after one hour.

A Japanese and Filipino allied force against the ruling communist China in the country.

Since the Philippines are now legally divided into two ideologies; the troupes had also divided in two. The email specified the details when, and where to go after reading the mail.

I paused.

Grabbed a beer from the fridge.

Do I need to risk myself again?

Am I still petty like how I used to before?

Should I go?

Should I run for more?

I drank beer again, searching for a sense of myself once more.

Should I?

Makakaya ko bang makaranas ulit ng sakit ng katawan? But I can’t deny myself that the moment lockdown started, it's almost been 7 years now, I master different types of close combats and my shooting skills.

Argus and Gaara my dogs, Chika, our cat. Nilapitan ko upang yakapin. I left a note for my dad, fixed my things and drove to the place the email provided.

I must go. Even if it means I'd be crippled.

++

"...you smell beer.." that voice.

My heart went haywire.