yearning for Lorenzo

“Wake up, Rose. It’s time to head back.”

“No. Let me sleep a bit more. It’s so nice here.”

“My legs are getting numb.”

“You look so beautiful when you’re shy.”

“Come on, Rose. If you don’t open your eyes, I’ll kiss you.”

“Then kiss me.”

“Please.”

“Do you really want this? Out here?”

“Yes. I want you. I want this.”

“Please. Don’t torture me like this.”

“I want you to enjoy it.”

“I am. But I want you now.”

“If you feel pain, let me know.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Fuck! Rose. What are you doing?”

“I want to feel you.”

“Fuck! Rose. Stop! I’m going to come.”

“Then come.”

“Fuck, you’re so tight. Are you okay, Rose?”

“I love you, Rose. I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Why didn’t you come find me? I was waiting for you.”

“I’m sorry, Rose. I’m sorry.”

“I was waiting for you.”

I woke up drenched in sweat, my heart beating fiercely against my rib cage.

My arms and legs were tangled and twisted around the bedsheets, a result of the wet dream I’d just had.

Oh God! That was crazy. Why did I dream of Lorenzo as my lover? And on top of that, we kissed and had sex.

Sex! I was still a virgin in real life. What made me dream of Lorenzo, of all men, to be my lover?

This wasn’t right. And I didn’t feel right. In fact, I was still hot and sweaty. Just the thought of him had me thinking about my dream again. I touched my lips, remembering his hard lips pressed on mine, and my heart rapidly increased in speed again.

I pulled the blanket off, my head going dizzy. But that still didn’t help alleviate my symptom. I was hot and bothered.

I rushed to the bathroom and splashed water on my face. It didn’t help.

My breathing only deepened, and I felt a throbbing sensation between my legs. What was wrong with me?

I jumped into the shower stall and turned on the nozzle. Ice-cold water bit at my skin, but I welcomed it, wanting those unfamiliar sensations to disappear from my body. But it didn’t work. I needed release.

I shut my eyes, but all I could see were images of Lorenzo and me, making love like in my dream. The throbbing increased and my heart rate sped up.

Oh God! I knew why my body was reacting like this. I was aroused.

And it was all because of that dream.

I didn’t think I could view Lorenzo in the same light ever again. It had been a week since I last saw Lorenzo. All this time, I was alone by myself. Sometimes Ming-May would accompany me with the housework. And I was grateful for her company because I had someone to talk to. But once night arrived, I was alone again.

I wasn’t used to staying by myself, all alone in this huge penthouse.

Back home, I’d always had company. Either having conversations with Papa during the evenings or chatting with Jenny over dinner. There was always something to do. But here, once my job was done for the day, I was left to my own devices.

I wanted to go out, to see the world, but I was stuck here. If I escaped, then Lorenzo would hunt me down, or worst-case scenario, he’d hurt my father. I knew first-hand what his power could yield. I wished there was some way to ease the boredom, though. There was only so much I could do here.

Was that why I’d dreamed about Lorenzo?

I tried to shove that thought away. He was a distraction I didn’t want.

But whenever I became bored, my mind would spin back to Lorenzo. At night I would lie awake thinking of him and his heterochromia eyes staring at me. Then I would listen to the sound of his footsteps walking along the hallway until they reached my door.

He never came in though.

I wouldn’t know what to do if he did.