Chapter Four

The loud, desperate knocking woke Amelia immediately. She rushed to the door to open it and found Mrs. Smith in tears, completely beside herself.

"Helen, for God's sake, what happened? "Amelia asked, not understanding why.

"It's Mr. Alderidge, he's unconscious on the bedroom floor! 

Immediately, Amelia grabbed her first aid bag and ran to Alexander's room.

When she arrived, she found Mr. Smith trying to wake him up, but without success. Amelia quickly approached him, checking Alexander's weakened breathing and heartbeat.

"CALL AN AMBULANCE NOW! "Amelia shouted, setting Alexander's heavy body on the floor.

Opening his eyes, she noticed his pupils dilated and unfocused while a white foam escaped from his mouth that was beginning to turn blue.

"Ron, look in the bathroom for something, where are his meds? Amelia asked, taking the stethoscope and checking his heartbeat one more time.

Mr. Smith would go to the bathroom, but soon returned with the weak ones in hand, completely empty.

Amelia realized immediately what had happened. 

Acting quickly, Amelia stuck her finger down Alexander's throat. She moved his throat to force him to vomit. 

"Ron, help me put his head on his side. " He asked and as soon as the man did, Amelia began a chest massage on Alexander. Every five movements, she would stick her finger back into his throat.

She could hear Helen crying as she talked on the phone, but she couldn't afford to be distracted at that moment.

" Come on you idiot!" She cursed the patient, trying to revive him.

A few minutes went by and Amelia already felt her hands hurting from the force she was putting on Alexander to make him react.

"One, two, three, four, five... One, two, three, four, five..." She counted the steps of the massage and jammed her finger in his throat once more. 

Tears were beginning to mine from her eyes as Alexander reacted, putting it all out by throwing up in her lap. 

She will mixed into the vomit, remnants of pills and tablets that he had ingested.

Amelia's finger kept forcing Alexander's throat until he put it all out. Weakly, he tried to fight it off, but Ron held him back.

The paramedics arrived on the upper floor where Amelia was rescuing Alexander with the help of Mr. Smith.

The woman turned away as the paramedics began to perform first aid, placing Alexander on the stretcher.

"Who's in charge of him?" one of the paramedics asked.

" I am. I'm his nurse. " Amelia replied, still in her sweater and covered in vomit. 

Helen quickly appeared with a robe and handed it to Amelia who immediately covered herself.

As the paramedics loaded Alexander into the ambulance, Amelia ran to her room to get her cell phone and documents, and climbed into the ambulance.

She was watching all the assistance the doctors were giving Alexander, when one of them turned to her.

"Do you know what he took?" the man asked as the other monitored Alexander.

" A bottle of Oxycodone and two boxes of Lexotan. He took the first one for pain, he had some injuries to relieve the pain and Lexotan to sleep. " She replied, feeling her body shaking.

"Did you do the right thing by making him vomit, ma'am? "The paramedic asked.

"Amelia, you can call me Amelia. I'm his nurse. This is my first patient. "She replied even more nervously.

"You saved your patient's life, Amelia. If you had taken a little longer, he might not have come back. "He replied, trying to calm Amelia, who sank her face into her hands as Alexander was put on an IV and an oxygen tank.

A few hours later..

Amelia was resting in the armchair in the room where Alexander was staying. Mrs. Smith had brought her a change of clothes for the night and Amelia had asked her to put a book that was on her bedside table in her purse.

Amelia showered right there in the bathroom of the room.

The doctors said that Alexander was no longer at risk, but he would need to stay in the hospital for observation and when he woke up, a psychiatrist would come to talk to him.

Even exhausted, Amelia forced herself to stay awake for when Alexander awoke. She was absorbed in the pages of the book, her only distraction at that moment.

Hours earlier she had informed Ethan what had happened to Alexander and he had told her that he would rush to the hospital as soon as possible.

"What are you reading?" Amelia heard Alexander's weak voice speak, waking her from her trance and approaching him immediately.

"Don't strain yourself, okay? You need to rest," she said, a mixture of relief and concern in her voice.

"You didn't answer me. " Alexander insisted.

"Jane Austen's Persuasion. "Amelia replied, reaching for the device to call for a nurse, but being stopped by Alexander who held her hand.

"Amelia, no," he ordered, and she nodded. "You should have let me die.

She stared at him, trying not to freak out at him.

Amelia sat on the end of Alexander's bed, taking his hand in hers. He did not reject her touch, and squeezed her hand weakly.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" she questioned him, trying to be accommodating. She was not going to judge him, she was not in that position.

Alexander thought it over, pondered for a few minutes before speaking. He felt his throat dry, sore.

" Today is two years since Megan and Luci died. " He was beginning to speak, looking at Amelia.

" Megan was my fiancée. She was five months pregnant with Luci. " Alexander explained. " That night we were coming back from Aspen. Megan had gone to accompany me. It was a weekend with some shareholders. 

Amelia listened attentively to everything.

"She wanted to go home soon, even though I insisted that we stay because the track was a little slippery. "He explained, his expression no longer as severe as before. "We were talking in the car during a descent and I lost control of the brakes. We hit a truck head-on. The whole top of the car was torn off.

Amelia felt Alexander's hand tremble in her fingers.

"We were both trapped in the wreckage and the last sight I saw was Megan bleeding beside me. But I could do nothing to save her and passed out from the pain in my legs. "He took a deep breath, his blue eyes staring up at the ceiling of the room. "I woke up three months later. "A silent tear ran down his cheek. "I didn't even get to say goodbye to them. I didn't see our daughter's face, I didn't see anything. I should have insisted more, fought, I don't know. They would be alive if I... 

Alexander burst into tears. It was so painful that Amelia couldn't do anything but wrap him in a hug, stroking his hair.

"It's my fault. I insisted she go that weekend with me. If I had... " He sighed, tiredly.

"Mr. Alderidge... Alex, it's not your fault. It was never your fault. " Amelia replied as he released himself from the embrace.

" As much as we always try to blame ourselves, that the pain is sometimes unbearable to the point that you can't breathe, it's not your fault. "Amelia said, holding his hand. "I know exactly how you feel.

Alexander looked at her uncomprehendingly, wondering if maybe she was just saying that out loud.

Amelia pulled up the sleeves of the sweatshirt she was wearing, showing a small, long scar, thin and erased by time.

"When I was fourteen, I insisted on going sailing with my mother. It was our mother-daughter thing. "We were caught in a storm and I ended up falling into the sea. My mother jumped into the water to save me and managed to get me back to the boat. But just as she was about to climb out, a wave caught her. 

It was Alexander's turn to hold Amelia's hand, comforting her.

"I went into shock. When I was found the next morning, I was still in shock. "We never found her body. We buried an empty coffin, and as much as everyone said it wasn't my fault, it consumed me until I tried to end it. 

Amelia took a deep breath, Alexander still held her hand.

"But it's not our fault, things unfortunately happen. And bad things happen and they make us stronger. "She said, her fingers caressing his. "It took me a while to understand this, to learn. But if you let me, I will help you to understand this guilt and most of all, to understand that life is not over.

The two of them were silent for a few minutes. Alexander now felt even more guilty. Guilty for having judged Amelia. They were more alike than he had even thought.

"All right," Alexander finally agreed. "But I want to ask you something now.

Amelia stared at him, nodding her agreement.

"I want you to read to me. I'd like to get some more sleep. "He asked, and Amelia smiled, nodded her agreement, and returned to her chair. 

She flipped to the page she had stopped on, beginning to read aloud.

"Anne, whose elegant character and gentle manner would have earned her a place of prominence in any group with real discernment, was a nobody, neither in her father's nor in her sister's eyes; her word was worthless, her role was always to give in - she was just Anne.