Chapter 5

Alpha Adrian

I haven’t been able to sleep properly for weeks. It’s not like I’m a sleeper on a normal day, but for sometime now, every time I try to close my eyes, I feel like the walls are closing in on me. Like there’s something inside me that wants to get out by all means.

Tonight, I’m extra angry and frustrated and it’s because I have to take my shot. I do this every once in a month. I silently wonder how long I'll continue doing this.

How long will I keep suppressing this…rage and madness brimming inside of me?

Sometimes I feel like decimating the whole world, other times, I feel like disappearing to an alternate universe.

A soft tap on my shoulder draws me out of my thoughts.

“What!” I snap with a growl. Talon did more of the growling. My wolf is even more aggressive than I am.

“Woah, seems like our Alpha woke up on the wrong side of bed right?” Jake, my best friend and Beta, tells the doctor in a playful tone. I grunt in response, feeling the urge to headbutt the idiot.

“You better shut the hell up if you want to keep that big head of yours on your neck.” I snap at Jake who just grins wider. The doctor, Miss Yannika, picks up the syringe filled with my drug which helps me suppress the curse.

Once every month, I have to take a shot of wolfsbane mixed with some concocted shit that helps me control the rage inside me. But everytime I think about why I have this curse in the first place, I get even more angry. All this is happening to me because of the one person I hate the most in my life.

The former Alpha, Jason Raven. My father. Because of him, I had to take the option given to me by the moon goddess.

"Are you ready to take the shot now, Alpha?" She asks with a gentle smile. Over the years, she has become my friend because she's one of the few people that knows about my true predicament. I trust her to keep my secret. I’ll kill her if she dares to expose it anyway. Also, she has tried to hit on me twice now, but I’m just not interested. She stopped after I snapped at her the last time she flashed her tits at me unprovoked. I guess she was embarrassed.

I nod to signal I'm ready. The moment I feel the needle pierce my skin, Talon starts to growl ferociously inside me, causing me immense pain. The shot is like poison to my wolf so everytime I take it into my system, it makes talon want to fight his way out of me. And that is the most excruciating thing ever. I literally feel my bones snapping, my skin turning inside out.

"Fuck!" I growl like a feral, trying to fight the pain. But I have no choice but to take it. As long as it means that I can rule my pack with a right mind. Without this shot every month, I'm no less than a feral rogue. Feral rogues are wolves that can't ever shift back to their human forms and only do one thing every day and night. Kill and eat people. Especially innocent humans that can't fight back.

Talon continues to fight Inside me, trying to get out. I have to force myself not to shift right in front of everyone.

"I'm so sorry, Alpha. The pain will stop soon." Yan says. She looks at me with a pained expression. Jake on the other hand is just smiling at me like a fool, probably because he has seen me in this position more times than I can count. My doctor is almost in tears while my beta is trying his hardest not to laugh at me losing my shit.

"Relax doc, he'll live. He's used to this." Jake tells Yan, who relaxes a little bit.

“Shut the fuck up! It hurts like a motherfucker!” I yell at Jake, trying to control the pain, but it’s too much.

"Alpha, try to block out the pain. Think of a moment where you were very happy. Maybe your childhood.” Yan tells me. I want to tell her that I didn’t have a happy childhood, but I keep my mouth shut. I think about a few moments I was truly happy.

Years ago, when I was much younger. I close my eyes and allow the memories to swim in my head.

Flash back. 15 years ago.

The smell of roasted beef fills the kitchen, making me smile with excitement. I love when mama makes roasted beef for me. It’s so delicious. I’m sitting at the small wooden table, my legs swinging because they can’t reach the floor yet. Mama moves around the kitchen with ease, humming softly as she places a plate in front of me. Thick slices of beef, still steaming, and a scoop of mashed potatoes she knows I like even though Papa says they’re too soft for a future Alpha.

“Eat before it gets cold, my baby” she says, smiling as she wipes her hands on her apron and takes a seat across from me.

I pick up my fork but don’t eat right away. I just stare at my beautiful mama. Her hair is pulled back loosely. And there is a small crease between her brows that never seems to go away anymore.

“Are you leaving again, Mama?”

“Yes, baby. Your papa and I have a meeting tonight. You know that.”

I frown. “You always say that.”

She reaches across the table and pushes my plate closer. “Adrian, eat.”

“I don’t want you to go,” I say, trying not to cry. “I want you to stay with me.”

She pulls her chair closer and kneels beside me. She smells like flowers and herbs and home. She cups my face gently, her thumbs brushing my cheeks.

“I have to go, my moonlight,” she says softly. “You know your papa and I have to keep things in check so everyone in the pack can live in peace.”

I don’t understand peace. Not really. I just know that when she leaves, the house feels colder.

“But I’ll miss you,” I whisper. “What if you don’t come back?”

Mama smiles and presses her forehead to mine. “I always come back to you.”

I swallow hard. “I love you, mama.”

Her eyes shine. “I love you more than anything in this world, my moonlight.”

She stands and turns back to the stove, blinking rapidly. I watch her shoulders rise and fall, and something heavy settles in my chest.

“One day,” she says, her voice happier now, “you’ll understand why your papa and I do this. One day, you’ll take over the pack, and you’ll worry about everyone just like we do.”

I scowl. “I don’t want to.”

She chuckles softly. “Of course you will. When you grow up to be a big, strong man.”

“I don’t want a mate either.”

That makes her turn around. “Why not?”

“Because mates fight all the time,” I say. “Like you and Papa. I don’t want someone who’s always angry.”

Mama looks at me silently for a moment. A single tear slips down her cheek. She wipes it away quickly, forcing a smile at me.

“When you find your mate,” she says gently, “it won’t be like that. Everything will make sense. She will love you genuinely and you will be happy.”

I’m not convinced by her words. “Promise?”

She nods, though her eyes are sad. “I promise.”

She leans down and kisses my forehead, lingering just a second longer than usual. “Now finish your food,” she says. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

I watch her walk away, not knowing that this would be one of the last peaceful moments I’d ever have with her.

Back to present

I open my eyes and find Yan and Jake staring at me silently. That’s when I realize that the pain has truly faded away. Thinking about my mother made me forget about the pain. Even Talon is dormant inside me right now.

“Seems the shot has done its work. Can we leave now, Alpha?. "Jake asks me. "It's already enough risk coming to the hospital frequently."

"Don’t worry, that will soon stop. The hospital will send doctors and nurses to the pack community. That way, you don't have to come all the way here.” Yan explains cheerfully. "I hope you don't mind human employees?"

"Of course, that's not a problem. Humans on my lands are well protected so rest assured that…"I suddenly stop when I hear a piercing scream from somewhere not too far away. I shoot up immediately in alert.

“Alpha?" Jake calls me. "Is something wrong?"

"l...l. thought I heard a..." I stop as I hear another scream again.

‘Danger! She's in danger! Save her!’ Talon roars inside of me, making my whole body vibrate. I remove the syringe and jump up, dashing out of the hospital and running towards the woods above.

"Alpha! wait!" Jake calls from behind me, but I don't answer. Right now, Talon is the one controlling me, and he wants to save this girl. This girl, whoever she is, we cannot let her die.

We have to save her.

***