Chapter four: The Stripper Mate

Kadence moved immediately, shoving through the crowd, desperate for air, for space, for anything that wasn't the scent of honeysuckle and the feeling of his entire world cracking in half.

He burst through the club's exit into the parking lot. Cool October air hit his face but did nothing to calm the riot in his chest.

His wolf was clawing at him, furious at the distance, demanding he go back inside but his human mind was screaming something else entirely.

No. Not her. Not like this. Anything but this.

He'd found his mate.

The one person in the entire world meant for him.

And she was everything he'd sworn he'd never want.

The Moon Goddess really did have a wicked sense of humor, because Kadence Thornwell, the man who'd built his entire life around three simple rules, had just discovered that fate didn't care about any of them.

His mate was a stripper.

And his wolf didn't care.

But Kadence did.

He cared so much it was killing him.

Inside the club, the music continued. The lights pulsed. And on that stage, a woman with amber eyes and a shattered expression watched the entrance where this man who got her attention, of all the men she ever met... he had just run from her like she was his worst nightmare.

Which, in a way, she was.

Kadence leaned against his car, hands shaking, breath coming in ragged gasps.

Thirty days to find his mate.

He'd found her in one night.

And he had absolutely no idea what to do about it, because accepting her meant facing every fear he'd carried for fourteen years.

And rejecting her meant condemning them both to a slow, agonizing death.

The mate bond didn't care about trauma.

It didn't care about rules, it didn't care that she was human, that she danced for money, that she was every single thing he'd trained himself to avoid.

All it cared about was that she was his and he was hers, and somewhere between the parking lot and that stage, Kadence Thornwell's carefully constructed life had just detonated into a thousand irreparable pieces.

His phone buzzed. Ronan: Where the hell did you go?

Kadence stared at the message, then back at the club entrance where red and gold light spilled into the darkness.

Inside, his mate was still on that stage.

His mate.

***********

The word kept echoing in his head, over and over, like a drumbeat he couldn't escape.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

His wolf was howling now, a sound of pure anguish that only Kadence could hear. It didn't understand why they were running.

Didn't understand why they weren't inside right now, claiming what was theirs, completing the bond that the Moon Goddess herself had forged.

All his wolf knew was that their other half was right there, and they were out here, and everything felt wrong.

Kadence pressed his palms against his eyes, trying to block out the memory of her face. Those amber eyes.

That moment of recognition when she'd felt the bond snap into place. The way her expression had shifted from confusion to shock to something that looked dangerously like hope....

Right before he'd destroyed it by running.

"Fuck," he whispered into the empty parking lot.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck."

His phone buzzed again. Ronan: Kade, seriously.

What happened?

What happened? What happened?

He'd walked into that club expecting nothing. Maybe a drink. Maybe an hour of pretending to be normal. Maybe a brief escape from the suffocating pressure of pack politics and elder ultimatums.

Instead, he'd found his mate.

And she was a human stripper named Cinder, dancing under red and gold lights while strange men watched and......

Kadence's wolf snarled viciously at the thought. His hands curled into fists against the car. The idea of other men looking at her, wanting her, touching her with their eyes....

She's ours, his wolf growled. Go back. Claim her.

Now.

But he couldn't. He couldn't.

Because if he went back in there, if he accepted this, he'd become exactly what he'd spent his entire adult life trying not to be.

His father's son.

The man who'd fallen for a stripper and destroyed everything.

The image of his mother's face flashed through Kadence's mind..... Luna Mirelle, beautiful and broken, weeping in her private chambers while the pack whispered about Garrison's affair.

The way she'd grown smaller over the years, her light dimming until she'd finally retreated to the Luna's cottage just to survive.

I can't do that to someone, Kadence thought desperately. I can't become him but even as he thought it, he knew he was lying to himself.

His father hadn't had a fated mate. Garrison had been weak, selfish, choosing momentary pleasure over his responsibilities.

Choosing Lydia over Mirelle not because of any divine bond, but because he was a coward who couldn't handle the pressure of leadership.

This was different.

She's your mate, a voice whispered in the back of his mind. The Moon Goddess chose her for you. That means something.

Did it, though? Did it really?

Or was this just the universe's way of testing him?

Of seeing if he'd learned anything from his father's mistakes?

The club door opened. Ronan stepped out, his expression a mixture of concern and confusion.

"Kade." He walked over slowly, like approaching a wounded animal. "Talk to me. What's going on?"

Kadence couldn't look at him. "I need to leave."

"Okay. We can leave. But first, tell me what happened in there. One second you were fine, the next you were bolting like someone set you on fire."

"I found her." The words came out strangled.

Ronan went very still. "Found who?"

"My mate." Kadence finally looked up, and he knew his eyes were glowing gold. Knew his wolf was too close to the surface.

"The woman on stage. Cinder. That's... that's my mate, Ronan."

For a long moment, Ronan just stared at him. Then, slowly, his expression shifted from shock to understanding to something that looked almost like pity.

"Oh," Ronan said quietly. "Oh, shit."

"Yeah." Kadence laughed, but it came out broken.

"Shit about covers it."

"Did she feel it too?"

"I guess" The word tasted like ash. "I saw it in her eyes. She felt the bond."

"And you ran." It wasn't a question.

"What was I supposed to do?" Kadence's voice cracked. "Stay? Accept this? My mate is a stripper, Ronan. She's human. She works in a club. She's—"

"She's your mate," Ronan interrupted firmly. "That's what she is. Everything else is just details."

"Details?" Kadence pushed off the car, his control finally snapping.

"My father destroyed our family for a woman exactly like her! My mother hasn't been the same since! The twins are a constant reminder of his betrayal! And you think those are just details?"

"Your father destroyed your family because he's a weak, selfish drunk," Ronan shot back.

"Not because of who Lydia was or what she did for a living. He made a choice.... a shitty one, and he keeps making it every single day. That has nothing to do with you or your mate."

"Doesn't it?" Kadence felt something hot and painful building in his chest. "What if I'm just like him? What if this is genetic? What if I accept her and then I—"

"You won't."

"You don't know that."

"I know you," Ronan said, stepping closer. "I've known you since we were five years old. You're the most disciplined, honorable, self-sacrificing person I've ever met. Sometimes to a fault. You would never, never do what your father did."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because you're standing out here having a panic attack instead of in there completing the bond." Ronan's voice softened.

"Kade, your father wouldn't have hesitated. He wouldn't have questioned it. He would've gone in there, charmed her, and taken what he wanted without a single thought about the consequences. That's not you. That's never been you." The words should have been comforting. They weren't.

"What if accepting her destroys me anyway?" Kadence asked quietly.

"What if the elders refuse to accept her? What if the pack tears itself apart? What if—"

"What if she's exactly what you need?" Ronan countered. "What if the Moon Goddess knew what she was doing when she chose her for you? What if you're so busy looking at her job that you're missing who she actually is?"

Kadence wanted to believe that. Gods, he wanted to believe it so badly but fourteen years of trauma didn't disappear because of one moment, one bond, one woman with amber eyes who'd looked at him like he was her salvation right before he'd crushed whatever hope she'd felt.

"I don't know what to do," Kadence admitted. It felt like confession... like surrender.

"Then do nothing. For tonight." Ronan pulled out his keys.

"Come on. I'll drive you home. You can figure this out tomorrow when you're not in shock."

Kadence knew he should argue. Should go back inside. Should at least try to, but his body was already moving toward the passenger side of the Jeep. His mind was too fractured to make any decisions right now.

As Ronan started the engine, Kadence took one last look at Ember. The red and gold lights still pulsed.

The music still thumped and somewhere inside, his mate was finishing her set, probably wondering what the hell had just happened.

Probably thinking she'd frightened him.

The mate bond pulled tight in his chest—an actual physical sensation, like a rope connecting them even now. He could feel her through it.

Confusion. Hurt. A deep, aching sadness that made his wolf whimper.

We hurt her, his wolf said accusingly. We hurt our mate.

Kadence closed his eyes as Ronan pulled out of the parking lot.

**********

The drive home was silent. Ronan didn't push. Didn't ask questions. Just drove while Kadence stared out the window and tried not to feel the phantom pull of the mate bond stretching thinner with every mile.

When they finally pulled up to the pack house, it was past midnight. The building was dark except for a single light in the east wing.

His father's chambers, of course Garrison was awake. Probably drunk. Definitely useless.

"You going to be okay?" Ronan asked as Kadence climbed out.

"No," Kadence said honestly. "But I'll figure it out."

"For what it's worth?" Ronan leaned out the window.

"I think you should go back. Tomorrow. Talk to her. At least give her an explanation. She deserves that much."

Kadence nodded but didn't commit to anything.

He watched Ronan drive away, then turned toward the pack house.