Three days of silence

Chapter 004

Three Days of Silence

SEBASTIAN

I stumbled out of the pack house, my legs shaky, my mind a mess. Darius’s words kept replaying in my head, like a song I couldn’t turn off. “Your mouth, tongue, and hand were very impressive. Too bad to not make acquaintance with such a lad who knows how to make use of them.”

“A lad. A lad.” I muttered continuously.

“He called me a lad, for crying out loud,” I muttered as I trudged down the dark path toward home. “I’m nothing but a kid to him. Even after… that.”

I kicked a rock out of my way, my hands stuffed deep in my pockets. My face was still burning, my body buzzing with the memory of what I’d just done. 

I’d given Darius everything, poured years of obsession into that moment and he’d dismissed me like I was some random omega who’d wandered into his room. 

“Impressive,” I scoffed, mimicking his voice. “Yeah, real impressive, Sebastian. You impressed the Alpha, and he still doesn’t give a shit about you.”

I waited for Alisander, my wolf, to chime in, to make some snarky comment or push me to go back and talk to Darius. But he was silent. 

“Completely silent.” 

That wasn’t like him. Usually, he’d be yapping away, telling me to stop overthinking or to do something stupid like chase after Darius. 

“What, you got nothing to say?” I asked out loud, my voice echoing in the quiet night. “You’re the one who called him our mate, and now you’re just gonna sit there?”

Nothing. Not a word. I groaned and kept walking, the pack house fading into the distance behind me. “Fine, be that way,” I muttered. “I don’t need you to tell me how screwed I am.”

When I got to my room, I slammed the door shut and leaned against it, my chest tight. The sketches of Darius stared at me from the walls, his face everywhere—serious, smiling, commanding. I wanted to rip them all down. “A lad,” I said again, shaking my head. 

“I’m eighteen, not some kid. And I just… I just…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence. My face burned as I thought about what I’d done, how I’d knelt in front of him, how he’d groaned under my touch. And still, I was just a lad to him.

I collapsed onto my bed, staring at the ceiling. “What was I even thinking?” I said. “Walking into his room like that? Offering to… God, I’m such an idiot.” I closed my eyes, hoping sleep would shut my brain off, but all I could see was Darius—his piercing blue eyes, his hand in my hair, the way he’d looked at me when he told me to leave.

That night, I dreamed about him. It wasn’t like my usual dreams, where I’d see him from afar or imagine him smiling at me. This was different. Intense. Real. I was in his room again, but this time, he wasn’t just sitting there. He was over me, his hands rough on my skin, his body pressing me into the bed. 

“You’re mine,” he growled in my ear, his voice low and hungry. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, just clung to him as he moved, his hands everywhere, his mouth on mine. It was too much, too good, and…

I woke up with a scream, my body jerking upright. My sheets were soaked with sweat, and worse, I could feel the sticky mess on my thighs.

“Oh, come on!” I shouted, throwing the blanket off me. My hands were shaking as I stumbled out of bed, my face burning with embarrassment. “Are you kidding me? A freaking wet dream? Now?”

I grabbed a towel from the floor and started cleaning myself up, muttering under my breath. “This is your fault, Darius,” I said, glaring at the nearest sketch on the wall. 

“You and your stupid perfect face and your stupid perfect everything.” I tossed the towel into a corner and sat on the edge of my bed, my head in my hands. “I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep dreaming about him like this. It’s pathetic.”

Alisander finally stirred, his voice quiet. “It’s not pathetic. It’s the mate bond.”

“Oh, now you decide to talk?” I snapped, standing up to pace the room. “Where were you when I was freaking out earlier? You left me hanging!”

“I was giving you space,” Alisander said. “You’re not exactly handling this well.”

“Yeah, no kidding!” I said, throwing my hands up. “I’m a mess! I walked in on the Alpha jerking off, offered to help, and then—oh yeah—he’s my mate! My mate! And he doesn’t even know it because I’m too much of a coward to tell him!”

“You’re not a coward,” Alisander said. “You’re scared. There’s a difference.”

“Same thing,” I muttered, grabbing a pencil and a sketchpad from my desk. I didn’t want to sleep again, not if it meant another dream like that. I sat down and started drawing, my hand moving on autopilot, sketching the curve of Darius’s jaw from memory. 

“I’m not telling him,” I said firmly. “No way. He called me a lad. A lad! Like I’m some kid who wandered in off the street. He’s not gonna make an acquaintance with me, Alisander. He’s the Alpha. I’m an omega. It doesn’t work like that.”

“You don’t know that,” Alisander said. “The Moon Goddess paired you for a reason.”

“Yeah, to torture me,” I said, pressing the pencil harder against the paper. “He’s never going to see me as anything more than some random omega. And if I tell him about the mate bond, he’ll reject me. You know he will. Alphas don’t mate with omegas. It’s not done.”

Alisander growled, low and frustrated. “You’re giving up before you even try. You felt the bond. You know it’s real. You could go to him, talk to him, show him who you are.”

“Show him what?” I said, slamming the pencil down. “That I’m obsessed with him? That I’ve got a wall full of sketches like some creep? Or how about I show him how I can’t even keep up with the pack during a hunt because my wolf is too weak? Yeah, that’ll really win him over.”

“You’re not weak,” Alisander said. “You’re just different. And Darius felt something too. You saw the way he looked at you after. He asked if you were mated. He knows something’s up.”

I froze, my stomach twisting. “He was just making conversation,” I said, but my voice wavered. “He didn’t mean anything by it. He told me to go back to the celebration. He didn’t even ask my name.”

“Because you didn’t give him a chance,” Alisander said. “Go back to the pack house. Talk to him and tell him the truth.”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m not doing it. I’m not setting myself up to get hurt. He doesn’t want me, Alisander. He’s the Alpha of all Alphas. He needs someone strong, someone who can stand by his side, not some orphan omega who can barely pay for a decent shirt.”

“You’re more than that,” Alisander said, his voice softer now. “You’re his mate. The Moon Goddess doesn’t make mistakes.”

I laughed, but it came out bitter. “Yeah, well, maybe she did this time.” I went back to my sketch, my hand moving faster now, filling in the details of Darius’s face. “I’m not going to him. I’m not begging for his attention. If he wants me, he can come find me. But I’m not holding my breath.”

Alisander sighed, long and heavy. “You’re stubborn.”

“And you’re annoying,” I shot back. “Just let me draw in peace.”

Three days passed, and I didn’t hear a word from Darius. No messengers, no visits, nothing. I went about my life, taking odd jobs at the market, scrubbing dishes, hauling crates, anything to keep my mind off him. But it didn’t work. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him—his face, his body, the way he’d looked at me in his room. And every night, I was terrified of dreaming about him again. That first night had been bad enough. I wasn’t sure I could handle another one.

Alisander was getting restless, though. By the third day, he was practically clawing at my mind, pushing me to do something. “You can’t just sit here,” he said while I was sweeping the floor of my room. “You need to go to him.”

“No,” I said, gripping the broom tighter. “I already told you, I’m not doing it. He doesn’t care about me. He called me a lad, remember? A lad! Like I’m some kid who amused him for five minutes.”

“He felt the bond,” Alisander insisted. “I know he did. You saw how he acted after. He was different. He asked if you were mated. That’s not nothing.”

“It’s nothing,” I said, sweeping harder. “He was just curious. Or maybe he was making sure I wasn’t gonna go blabbing about what happened. He’s the Alpha. He’s got a reputation to protect.”

“You’re making excuses,” Alisander said. “You’re scared, and you’re letting your pride get in the way. Go to the pack house. Talk to him. Or at least show up at one of the training sessions. Let him see you again.”

“I’m not doing that,” I said, stopping to glare at the wall. “What am I supposed to do? Walk up to him and say, ‘Hey, Alpha, remember me? The omega who gave you a blow job? Wanna hang out?’ Yeah, that’ll go great.”

“You could start by telling him your name,” Alisander said, his voice dry. “You didn’t even do that last time.”

I groaned, dropping the broom. “Why are you so pushy about this? It’s the mate bond, isn’t it? You’re just feeling it and trying to make me do something stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” Alisander said. “It’s fate. You’re his mate, Sebastian. You can’t ignore that forever.”

“Watch me,” I said, picking up my sketchpad again. I flipped to a blank page and started drawing, my pencil scratching against the paper. 

“I’m not going to him. I’m not begging for his attention. If he wants me, he knows where to find me.”

Alisander went quiet again, but I could feel his frustration, like a low hum in the back of my mind. I ignored it and focused on my drawing, trying to lose myself in the lines and shadows. 

But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was making a mistake. 

“And it was a big one.”