Torn

BELLA

My hand trembles as I stare at the test results, my heart beating so fast and my breath going ragged that I have to sit on the mattress, hands on my chest and taking intentional deep breaths to calm myself.

This cannot happen! This should not be happening. I drop the paper on the bed and pick it up again, still in disbelief.

I can't be pregnant, not now, not when Ariana just got back and my shaky position in Brad’s life is sure to be uprooted.

How did I even get pregnant? I've always been careful.

Brad would not be happy about this.

For the three years we've been married I can count how many times Brad has touched me__it has always been out of duty or when I need him so much I’m forced to seduce his primal male instinct but each time, I can feel his disgust anytime he's finished.

He is too embarrassed to be with me let alone have a child with me. If anyone finds out they will have more reasons to despise me. I can almost hear what they'll say.

"Are you really that desperate?"

"She just doesn't want to see Ari happy."

They'll rain insults on me while Brad silently watches with contempt— not once has he ever defended me.

What's the point anyway?

Brad will divorce me now that his beloved Ari is back. I'll have to leave before anyone finds out or their hate will be transferred to my unborn baby and I can't take that.

My child will be loved and right now, I'm the only one who can do that. No one needs to know.

I rip the paper to shreds while frantically dialling Esme's number. This stays between us.

"I'm guessing you've opened the gift, Mommy Alpha," Esme’s giddy voice almost split my ear.

"Yeah I did, are you sure Esme?"

"Of course I am, I did it myself, now don't go planning that baby shower without me."

I let out a sigh.

"Esmeralda, please I need you to listen to me."

"Bella? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I need this news to stay between us for now please."

"Why? It's good news. Brad would be—"

"Ariana is back."

"I heard, so? Wait, you don't really think..."

"I don't know what to think, Esme I just want to keep this to myself for now."

"Whatever you're thinking Bella, don't. You have the Alpha's heir now, that means the upper hand. Fight!"

I sigh, feeling another strong wave of sadness rush through me. Esme is no stranger to my struggles with Brad concerning Ariana but she doesn’t know it’s much worse than I tell her.

"Esme this is not about fighting, I’ll tell Brad but I want the waters to die down first. Promise me you won't tell anyone."

"I promise."

"Thank you."

I curl in a ball, hugging myself as I let it all wash through me__the dread, the fear of rejection, what happens to me when Brad disposes of me?

I cannot go back to my parents. They've always made life hell for me. I've not known any other life besides their cruelty and Brad's cold negligence. Who will protect me and my baby from the rival packs if I become a Rogue?

****

The drapes are down the next morning, so it isn't the morning sun that's stirring me up. The scraping sounds are becoming too hard to ignore and the omegas know better than to get me up before 9am unless.....

I walk down the lobby towards the noise but no one acknowledges my presence and I watch in confusion as the omegas carry boxes, pink cushions and stuff.

What's going on?

“I was just coming to get you," Brad's deep voice fills the hallway and I turn to the direction of his voice only for my heart to clench with sudden and sharp pain seeing Ariana is glued to his side, smirking at me like she belongs there.

Maybe she’s not smirking, maybe I’m just projecting. I push the sour feeling in my chest away as they finally reach me.

Brad smiles at Ariana and then looks back at me, his voice sharp and his tone finite.

"Ariana will be moving in with us."

Like every other day Brad never makes a suggestion, he declares and everyone does as told and I know better than to object or even ask why.

He’ll just stonewall me like he always does.

I swallow hard, trying to gather myself.

"Of course. Welcome Ari,” I say, fighting back the tears pricking my eyes, “let me know if—"

"Brad, could you please take me to my room? I'm exhausted,” she rolls her eyes at me as she cuts me off.

"Sure." The gentle way he smiles down at Ari shreds every layer of my heart. He never smiles at me like that.

I watch as he leads her to the room opposite ours, the room designated for the Luna that he never let me use, saying the Alpha’s room was big enough for the two of us and for a moment I wonder. If I tell him about the baby, will he choose me over Ari?

I shake my head slowly as if to dispel the thought. The truth is staring me right in the face.

Ariana came back yesterday. Today she's living with us, perhaps, tomorrow Brad will serve me divorce papers and make her his Luna.

My presence alone is an obstacle to that and telling him about the baby will only make it worse for me and everyone.

I’ll be seen as a woman desperate to keep her title, trying to trap him with a child.

—

I stare in front of the bathroom mirror at my exposed stomach. It'll be a few months before the bump becomes visible, but I can already feel the warmth inside of me.

I can't hide it for long.

I sigh, wondering what the cards hold for me. Why did Ariana have to return from the dead, this would have been much easier.

“Bella, you’re better than that.”

My wolf’s voice rings in my head. I know…

I'm not the only one suffering here, Ariana seems to have been through a lot, whatever she'd endured must have been terrible, still she has to tell someone. I'm probably the last person she needs right now, but we need to talk.

"Ari, are you in there?" I knock softly at the door, no response.

"Ari?" I let myself through the unlatched door to her room.

Brad wouldn't let me have it after the wedding, but wastes no time to decorate it with Ariana’s favourite colours. His real Luna.

My eyes sting from the pain of it all even if I should be used to it by now. Being the unexpected twin, the rejected mate and unwanted Luna.

How will it possibly get worse?

I only noticed the shower was running when it stopped.

Ariana steps out of the bathroom with a pink bathrobe wrapped around her delicate frame. Her jet black hair is neatly wrapped in a white towel.

"What do you want Bella?" She asks immediately, almost bored.

"Ari, I'm sorry I couldn't help you..."

"Great. So you're here to remind me of what I really want to forget."

"Ari you can't be that way, we need to—" I pause, transfixed, refusing to believe my eyes as they land on her neck, right where a mate mark should be.

It cannot be, it hasn't even been up to 48 hours how...?

"Ari? Is that a mate's mark on your neck?"

Her eyes are instantly full of horror and she quickly removes the towel on her hair and hangs it round her neck, the horror in her eyes shifting to an icy look.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about and I want to get dressed. Get out."

She didn’t have that mark on her yesterday, has Brad marked her already?

Each word tore at my heart as I thought it. He couldn’t even wait. My chest constricts and my eyes water as I step towards her ignoring her glare.

“I said leave!” She yells at me, retreating with backward steps but it only makes me more curious.

Even if the truth is right before my eyes, I need to confirm and double check. I need to see that mark, to see Brad's betrayal in the face while his child grows inside me.

“Ari…who’s mark is that?” My voice is low and she yelps softly as her back hits the pavement of the window, the horror returning briefly to her eyes.

“You’re seeing things,” she seethes but not convincing enough.

I reach my neck to feel my mark, it's still there.

I still have Brad's mark, and he can't mark two Luna's at a time and knowing Ariana, if it was Brad’s mark, she would be flaunting it to and not hiding it from me.

What the hell is going on?

I reach for the towel on her neck to yank it off but she holds on to it firmly, struggling with me.

“I said get out Bella, get out,” she kicks my thighs but I don’t let go, bearing the pain and grateful it wasn’t my stomach.

I hear the door latch turn and suddenly, Ariana screams, “please Bella, please!”

She lets go of the towel in my hands as the door opens and throws herself out the open window just as Brad steps in to see her cascading down the building with me standing beside the window.