Chapter 4: Human Anatomy

 Chapter 4: Human Anatomy

"I have read their texts. Seen their biology as you have learned it from me. I don't know all the ways to be human."

John couldn't stop staring at the red staining Tom's lean cheeks. Blood flowed through the body as a result of emotions as much as biology. He couldn't think of a reason for Tom to be flushed. Sickness wasn't possible. Their kind rarely became ill. Heat was unlikely. They were both sharing the same berth with the same temperature flowing over them. What caused his face to flush?

"I don't like it when I can't hear your mind voice. You seem too far away. I'm human now. Your voice won't change me. You know I can hear you."

Tom reached out to stroke his hand down John's arm, squeezing his bicep gently before letting his hand fall to his side once more.

"It's hard to speak with my mind. For me. I do not have the talent for it you do."

"I can hear you."

John freed himself from the security lashes in order to gain more access to Tom. He gripped his friend's waist, squeezing to emphasize how much he was willing to give up for this man.

"I can touch you. We can touch. Touch me."

Tom searched John's face with his eyes, the flush on his cheeks darkening and capturing John's attention once more. He could feel Tom's uncertainty as if it were a weighted net falling over them both to pin them in place. Summoning his courage, he stripped his tunic from his upper body and seized Tom's hand in his own.

"Touch me. Please."

John thought Tom was going to refuse until he used his free hand to reach out. 

No touch ever felt so right as Tom's slim fingers splaying across the thick pectoral muscles on John's chest. He began to worry about sickness again as the heat of Tom's hand seared his skin. 

"You're so hot."

Breath catching in his throat, Tom sent the thought to him, "Humans use words differently than we know them. They say someone is 'hot' when they find them attractive. Human bodies warm as their blood pumps faster. When they're aroused. Sexual desire causes the male organ to react. Their anatomy is not so different from other bi-gender kinds."

Tom only skirted an issue when he was uncomfortable talking about it. 

John knew Tom better than he knew himself. 

"You don't want to teach me this. Why?"

"I don't want to disgust you."

"You could never!" 

John tightened his grip on Tom's hand, covering the one resting on his chest with his free one. He wanted to trap Tom in place. He didn't want to lose the intimacy they had in their berth. It was possible they would never have a time to themselves alone again. Every world was different in how it was colonized. John was needed for Security while Tom was the last of Records. 

Their value was in two totally different fields.

"I live for you. I, Tom, live for you, John, because of the pact which joins us. Tom for John. John for Tom."

No one knew about their pact. 

John wondered if his blood brother would feel differently about Tom if he were to know a sacred pact bound him to his brother. Their lives were separated by many years -Peacekeeper had left the creche as a young man before John was birthed- and they did not often spend time together one-on-one. 

"John for Tom. Tom for John. How could you think I would reject you for anything? We belong together."

It was more certain to him than whether they would be able to live on the surface of the planet they orbited. There were no mistakes made by their scientists. No one would have awakened if it had not been certain they had found a suitable planet. 

"I want you to---to---to touch me."

John couldn't help showing his confusion, "I want to touch you. Why should I not?"

"Young," Tom whispered, fingers curling against John's chest, "You will want young. I cannot take that journey with you."

Shaking his head, John argued, "You could. We could find a compatible female. We could offer ourselves to her as part of her breeding group. Females want the chance to breed as much as we do. They improve their chances taking more lovers. You're the only one of your bloodline left. No female would deny you a chance to pass on Records to another generation."

Tom crowded close to John, ducking his head to tuck into the curve where Tom's neck met his shoulder. If their form was bipedal, Tom always found his way into the same position. John couldn't determine if it was because he appreciated the fact John couldn't see him from the position or if it made him feel better because he could smell his blood or hear his pulse or if he took comfort in some other biological stimuli entirely.

"Would you want to witness that?"

"What?"

John wasn't sure what they were even talking about any longer. All he could focus on was how warm Tom's body felt against his own. His warm breath against his neck caused every hair on his body to stand at attention. John didn't know a body could feel so many feelings at the same time. What were these humans? Why had they not found their way into the stars already?

"Me. Mating a female. Would you want to witness that?"

Sex was no secret thing for Zen. Mating units consisted of multiple males and one female all attempting to produce young. Most males had been witness to other males mounting the same female. John had even been involved in a mating unit with his blood brother as the female especially wanted a young of the Security bloodline. 

John stiffened in place, his body going taut with the strength of his reaction as he snapped, "No!"

"I thought not. You do not like it when others touch me."

John finally understood why Tom's face was vibrant with color as blood rushed to his own. 

"I have never denied you touch. You have always been free to find the mating unit of your choice."

"I have never wanted a mating unit. I've only wanted you."

Tom pressed his mouth to John's, sending a mental plea out at the same time saying, "Kiss me."