CHAPTER EIGHTY

Somewhere deep inside me I’m asking the same question she probably asked herself back over a year ago. Is the loss, the pain all I can feel now? Or can I still let love into my heart from those around me?

“I came as soon as I got off the plane, Sweetheart. How are you feeling?”

She sits beside me and wraps an arm around my back, supporting my weight.

“I feel so lost, Mom. I lost… I was pregnant.” The words seem inadequate to describe the enormity of what I, what Gavin and I lost and I have to force myself to breathe once I’ve said the painful truth I still can’t fathom.

My mom’s wide eyes fill with understanding as she nods and before I know it, I’m engulfed in her warm arms. The tears come and this time I don’t stop them.

My cries are muffled into her black and gray blouse and she coos reassuring words like it’ll be okay and I’m here for you.

Somehow, I hope she’s right. The emotion erupts from the deepest parts inside me and my mother’s arms feel like the only thing holding me up