CHAPTER THREE

Xavier didn’t love me. He never did, he never learned to.

Because even though he was with me for years and he didn’t mean to make me feel that I know he still longs for her.

The one he’s looking for when he falls asleep, the one he wants to be with through everything. The one he could wait no matter how long it will take.

That is why I know it is impossible for him to realize that he loves me because he never really saw me. He never laid his attention on me, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself. He couldn’t take Samantha away from him.

It is always Samantha and never Veronica.

“When I met Cora, Xavier’s mother. I was with someone else. My first love, Cora’s existence doesn’t matter at all until we get a chance to know each other. My first love left for her dreams and we promised to hold on to our relationship but Xavier’s mother is not hard to love. And even when I love my girlfriend, I still fell in love with his mother. At first I was confused, especially when my girlfriend came back. I thought she’s still the best for me, she’s the one for me but Cora made me realize that I am more than in love with her. She’s my greatest love,” he talks with so much amusement. Until now he speaks about his wife as if he’s still falling for her.

I admire them for feeling the same way and it made me sad knowing it could never happen to us.

“Think of that with the same situation as yours and my son, Veronica. I really like you for my son. And I know he’s in love with you. He just couldn’t let go of the things he had with Samantha,” Tito Felipe said and then bid his goodbye to me.

We stayed talking for almost an hour and even though I haven’t done anything I feel so tired. I feel like I am fully consumed.

“Take care Tito. Thank you for the visit. I am so sorry for making you worry, Tito. I will try to fix things so you don’t have to worry,” I said as I accompanied him to the door.

“Don’t think of that. You take care too, okay? Don’t worry, I’ll talk to my son. He’s being hard headed again so he needs to be knocked out for a bit,” he joked before he waved for his leaving.

I go back to the couch and put myself there.

He learned to love Tita Cora because Tita is not hard to love. But me, I am hard to love. There’s no reason to love me. I am not like other people, I am never going to be like Samantha.

I sighed and decided to prepare for my dinner. After doing the chores and after eating my dinner I get ready for bed. I needed to get enough rest, I still have work tomorrow.

10:00 o’clock and he hasn’t give me any message yet.

Maybe he was so busy recording. That opportunity is a big start for their band and prioritizing me is not worth it. I know, it is too much to ask for his little time to text me.

That’s fine Veronica. It’s his dream, don’t be selfish. 

I sighed and let myself drown with darkness not minding the pain that was running through my system.

I woke up the next day feeling heavy. I checked my phone to see nothing but a message from my best friend that I didn't bother to read.

Cozy Graphic Designs Corp. is known for their cozy minimalist graphic designs. They are one of the best and top graphics corporations in the industry but then, I am not one of their best artists. I know I'm still an amateur. But then with my few experiences I can be proud of the progress that I have each time I explore my skills that give me an advantage from the others.

"Good morning," I greeted everyone in the building. They greeted me back but today is Monday, which means everyone is busy.

I go straight to the 3rd floor where the office for my team is.

“Good morning.”

“Hi, Vy!”

“Morning.”

They greeted me as I entered our office. I smiled a bit at them.

Rica then approached me with her serious face. Her table is next to mine but she still chooses to be near me.

I didn’t mind her and just let her look at me. Rica is the only person in our team that is very loud, clingy and funny. She’s a bit opinionated too and likes to know things as much as possible.

“What’s with your face, Vy? You look problematic, do you need money? I can lend you some,” she whispered to me seriously.

I shook my head and smiled at her before I continued to read my emails that I failed to do with my two days' rest from work.

“What is it then?” she asked again.

“Maricar, stop bothering Vy. Don’t make her want to take her leave again, and you as the reason!” Jonas, our team leader, called her out.

“That Maricar thing is really annoying! I’m offended,” she exclaimed and that made us laugh. 

We’re eight in the team. We have our own designated table with our own laptops and things. We also have a huge table at the center of our office for our team meeting and discussion for importance files, designs and agendas.

I spend my first hours reading all the pending emails and after that I continue my unfinished works and designs to make progress.

It took me a lot of time to do my pending work and I didn’t notice the time for lunch. I just had a chance to eat when Rica handed me food that still looks annoyed for what Jonas told him.

“Thanks,” I said and started to eat while working.

Good thing she’s like that now, I just don’t feel like being asked about my problems because it wouldn’t make me focus on my work.

"Thanks." Tipid na sambit ko tsaka nag simulang kumain habang nag tatrabaho parin.

Even though our situation never left my mind, I can control not thinking so much about it as long as no one would ask about my feelings.

I continued working on the design for our company’s loyal client.

Luckily, my skills are good enough as I stay here. Even though sometimes, there are things to fix and to change with my work it is a very good advantage that I got a chance to improve it as we train each other in the team. Since I took a part time job here while studying, they put their attention and effort into training me so I could keep up with the team.

Our team is led by Jonas, Rica who is assigned with color, enhancement and contrast, Billy as senior designer of the team. Roxanne is assigned with the final touches of the designs and details. While me, Finn, and Kley are assigned for the first sketches and organizing of designs. And lastly Glenn as the design tech in our group.