After Him

He's nice and always smiles, that's why it is not hard to get along with him easily. He's also a gentleman and sweet. That's why in my one year of being his tutor and friend, I knew my feelings for him developed.But I am so stupid to think that his actions and actions towards me mean something. I thought we felt the same way. I got really shocked when he introduced his girlfriend to his father at the restaurant where I am working.It was like reality slapped me when I saw his eyes almost sparkle as she looked at her girlfriend. He even smiled at me, looking very proud to introduce Samantha. I smiled back at him, acting very much happy for him even though I feel like my heart is breaking and it hurts so badly. I am very hurt and embarrassed at the same time.Stupid me to think, he would like someone like me. I am just a waitress and her tutor. I am the only one who feels something towards him. He doesn’t feel the same way to me, never.Their visit became often, hanging out and just s

I was too occupied with my work when my phone rang. Xavier’s calling.I sighed as I felt my heart beat faster than usual. I felt Rica’s sudden look at me so I chose to leave the office and go to the restroom. I chose to use the floor’s restroom instead of our office because for sure Rica would ask me questions."Hi babe," I tried to sound excited and happy but I think it just felt wrong. It made me feel heavier."Hi, are you busy now?" he asked very softly. There's something in his tone that made me weak not because of excitement but because of fear.I know this will come, but I never expected it too fast. Not now that I just talked to his father about trying to fix things up.Since Samantha came back, I know his feelings for her came back too. And like before I am the burden and the antagonist of their story. Xavier’s father wants me for him and he doesn’t have the strength to refuse his request, that's why he couldn’t leave me. Since she came back, I don’t know where to stand. I don

“Stop teasing me, Lucas!” I said while laughing.“Where do you want to eat?” he changed the topic. I thought of a good restaurant but I suddenly craved fast food meals.He agreed with it and he even told me to wait for our food. He’s going to order for us. I choose a seat from the left side that is just near him.I couldn’t hide my smile as I looked at the toy that we’ve got. Before, arcades were my favorite place to go. Those places just made me feel that I can be happy even with my flaws and the things that I don’t have. But Xavier doesn’t love or even like things like this, he prefers going to concerts or gigs. I’m totally fine with that but honestly, I miss this.I feel like there’s part of me that I get back after years of choosing what I want instead of mine.I love him so much that I am willing to let go of the things he doesn’t want for him. But I truly miss this, I felt like I’ve been longing for this.I suddenly thought if he could do that for me too? But of course, he could

“Date? Are you serious, Xavier?” I faked a laugh and tried to pull my hand out of his hold. He then let go of it so I took that chance to give us enough distance.“Are you even serious about that, Xavier? You’re thinking that way to me? Just because I go with him that means we go on a date? If you were there, then I’ll be with you. But where are you? You were so busy with your recording right? I understand that, I truly do. I am always choosing to understand you even most of the time you keep on letting me down, even though you keep making me disappointed. I looked so stupid excited to see you there waiting for me but who came? Lucas. He was the one waiting for me even though it was supposed to be you. I am so disappointed in you but I choose to understand you because that is for your career. You want that, it is your dream. I am trying my best to keep in my mind that you have to stay there for your career but this stupid mind of mine keeps on reminding me that shit, Samantha’s there.