เข้าสู่ระบบDelta Ames saw me first, from the culvert, and dropped a full thermos on his own boot and did not appear to notice.He was forty yards up the ridge road with the light going behind him. I had a child holding each hand. We had walked the last mile because I was not going to come back into this valley sitting down.He said something. It did not come out.Then he tried again and it came out as, "Aria.""Hello, Ames.""You're—""I know.""The book says north," he said, and his voice had gone very strange. "On foot, into the storm. I wrote it — it's in my hand, it's in my hand—""I know what's in your book."He put both hands on top of his head like a man at the scene of an accident, and then he turned and shouted up the road, and that was the end of any control anybody had over the next ten minutes.They came down out of the Pack House in twos and threes and then in twenties.I stood on the boundary stone at the bottom of the track with my heels together and my sons on either side of me a
I put my boot down on the far side of the cattle grid at Kestrel Ford at four in the afternoon on the fourteenth of December, and the ground on that side is exactly the same as the ground on this side, and my whole body knew the difference anyway.Three years and two months since I went out over the col with a bag and two heartbeats.Fourteen miles of frozen road between that grid and the Circle stone.Say it, Nyx said, and she was not steady either. Say where we are."We're home," I said, out loud, in a car park by a bridge, to nobody.No. Say it properly."We're back."The wind came down off the ridge and brought it with it — pine, wet rock, and that thin iron underneath that gets into everything in this valley and always has.I stood in it with my hand on the car door and let it happen to me. There is no point pretending otherwise. Three years of managing three seconds at a time, and then a whole lungful of it at once, and I had to put my forehead against the cold roof of the car u
It came through the Mark on a Tuesday afternoon while I was pegging out washing, and it was not grief, and that is how I knew something had broken.Three years I have known the weather in that man. Grief has a bottom to it and it sits. This was hot and jagged and it came in bursts, four or five times inside an hour, the way a thing does when it is happening in a room full of people.Humiliation. Twice. And underneath it, once, so fast I nearly missed it — fear.Damien Kane is not frightened of anything. I have seen him stand in front of an Alpha with a knife and be bored.His house is coming down, Nyx said. Somebody is doing it to his face.I stood with a peg in my hand and the wind pulling at a sheet and worked out, in about ninety seconds, that I was going to have to send for the man I like least in the world.Kai Ashford came on the Friday, to a place of my choosing, four miles from where we actually sleep.That was the first time I have ever made him drive to me. He noticed. He no
"—so you'll not get through Kettle Falls this month," the Rogue was saying. "The Ridge is upside down. Some woman east of the divide put three of them down over her pups."I was four feet behind him with a glass in my hand."Three," Theo said."Killed one. Put him through a window."The Rogue laughed, the way men laugh at other men's disasters. "And she never laid a hand on the other two. Says a word and they go down flat on their bellies, like dogs."I set the glass on the sideboard.It went down harder than I meant it to and the base cracked and everybody in that hall turned around, and I have spent two years training this Pack not to look at me when I make a noise, so that tells you what the noise was like.Alive, my wolf said, and it came up out of my chest like something surfacing. Ask him. Ask him now.The hall stank the way it always does on petition day — wet wool, too many bodies, the coffee urn nobody has descaled since I was a boy. I made myself breathe it in, and the air w
My hands started shaking at four in the morning, eleven miles outside Bellingham, at a set of traffic lights with nobody else on the road.Not during. During, they were steadier than they have ever been in my life. It waited until there was a red light and two sleeping children in the back and nothing left to do, and then it came up my arms and took both of them at once and I sat at that junction through two changes of the light.Breathe out, Nyx said. Out, not in. You know this one."I know."Green.I drove the rest of the way with my jaw locked and the smell of smoke in my hair from a kettle that had burned dry on a stove I am never going to see again.Hesper opened her back door at half past five in a dressing gown and did not ask one question until the boys were asleep on the cot in her stockroom.Then she sat me down under the lamp and cut my sleeve off with scissors."Well," she said."It's not deep.""It's four inches and it's got wool in it. Hold still."The needle went in. I
The doorframe came in at twenty past nine, and there was a man standing in my kitchen who had not been there a second before.I had a tea towel in my hand. The kettle was on. Rowan was at the table with the wooden truck and Rhys was already asleep in the back room, and I had exactly one thought, and it was not a word."Otter," I said.Rowan went off the chair and under the boards behind the woodbox like a stone dropped down a well, and I have never in my life been so glad of anything.The man came at me across my own floor.Left, Nyx said. He's carrying on the left.I put the tea towel in his face and my elbow into his throat and he went into the stove, and the kettle came off it and went across the boards, and the noise of that was somehow the loudest thing in the whole night.Then two more came through the door behind him.Chevron boots. All three. Ridge coats with the crest taken off the shoulder, which is a thing men do when they are about to be something their Alpha has not sanct







