Before he confessed his feelings for me, watching the sun rise was something we did together. A secret that only we shared. It was the greatest feeling to be there in that moment with him because I knew that he would have my back. I didn’t ever have to worry about other Knights in those moments we shared. Any time I felt terrible about myself he was always there to pick me back up, dust me off, and put me on my feet. I am where I am today because he was there to help me. My one and only male supporter other than my father.
I stared at the mountain, silently waiting for the sun to rise and bring my hope with it. Hope that this battle between us and the bandits would cease. Hope that I could get over my anger for Nicklos and pray that things would patch up between us. I was angry, that much was true, but at the same time I was extremely hurt as well. There was so much on my plate that I found my days filled with overwhelming amounts of pressure. The pressure to find a suitor for my father’s benefit, the pressure of filling my mother’s shoes, the pressure of being the good Knight I always wanted to be.
The stress had become so horrible these days that I could feel myself drowning. No matter how much I raised my head above water, I could still feel the splash of resentment I would receive, and it would pull me back down again. The shoes I had to fill, they where so big. I had barely even started to fill them. I had to graceful like my mother, and a leader like my father. They alone where revered as the greatest power couple in this century. At least they where until my mother’s untimely death. Now I had to face all the responsibilities on my own, while facing the discourage of the world, and my superiors. Why couldn’t people just be accepting of this already? It wasn’t like I could turn back time and change everything. I don’t think I would even if they wanted me to because this felt right.
“So, I see you still come out here.” I turned my head surprised. Nicklos had snuck up behind me without me being aware of it. Had it been anyone else, I probably would have punched them in the head for scaring me. I watched as he closed the distance between us, our shoulders rubbing together as we both looked out over the cliff side. Nostalgia had crept over me, remembering all the days we had snuck out of the barracks just to watch the sun rise.
“Of course, I do. Wasn’t it you who told me that the sun was hope?” I asked keeping my voice low. He chuckled in response. For some reason, my heart picked up at even the sound of his deep throaty chuckle. It made me happy that I was the cause for the amusement, although it was at my expense.
“When the sun rises, it reminds me that I lived to see another day. I was able to wake up and put my best foot forward and try to survive long enough to see it again. I always thought that it was the Sun I strived to live for, but when I came here it quickly changed. Soon enough you became my sun. You where the hope that filled me.” I felt his hand casually play with the dark strands of my hair that dangled down my back. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, knowing that if I looked at his face, I wouldn’t be able to stay mad at him. I didn’t want to be filled by his pretty words, I just wanted to be mad at him.
“How can I be the sun when you turn away from me? Didn’t you once tell me that I was as pretty as the sun? So why did you ignore me?” The deadly tone that I let spill from my mouth surprised me at first, but he needed to know that I wasn’t just willing to forgive him over a few pretty words. “Did you finally realize that a woman who can defend herself was truly a scary thought? Are you really no different than any other man that hated me?” I couldn’t help the tears that fell from my eyes and on to my cheeks. The hurt that I spent so long pushing aside, now coming out like a waterfall of emotions.
His arms where around me within seconds, crushing me against him as I felt the tears cascade down my face. I hated the thought that he would stop talking to me because I was a woman Knight. He had spent so much time lifting me up and holding me in the air that I thought he truly supported me. I didn’t want to think that he would be like those other men that despised me, cursed me for even trying.
“Alliah that wasn’t my intention at all. I promise you that for the entire year I was unable to write you, I hurt tremendously. Even over the last six years, all I could ever think about was you. I wanted to hold you just as I am now and to never let you go. There was a reason for my silence Alliah, just let me explain myself please.” He spoke gently into my ear. I clutched at his cloak with my hands and buried my head against his chest. Would his explanation cure me of the aching that filled my chest? The void in my heart even started to fill with pain as I silently sobbed against him. I had to pull myself together, this was not how a Crowned Princess, nor a fully fledged Knight should act. I sniffled and rubbed the tears from my eyes as I pushed him away. I just needed a minute to regain my composure, and then I would hear him out.
I took a deep breath and went to tell him to proceed, but a guard came bursting through the doors of the garden and barreling towards his. Blood trickled from his head and streamed down his face. My heart flickered in panic as I caught the guard with my shoulder as he fell. Panting heavily and bleeding on me, he spoke so quickly I couldn’t understand his babble. Sobs wracked his chest as he tried to inhale and exhale rapidly.
“What in the hell happened?” I demanded as I stabilized him on his feet. He coughed before wiping the blood from his head. His blue eyes where so dark with fear and sadness. I could feel my own chest aching with his turmoil. His body shook as his mouth opened and closed, trying to find his composure and his words.
“There was an ambush just outside of the city. The General is out there now fighting them off. Your Majesty you must hurry they are out matched. We already have your horse prepared for you.” He spoke so urgently that I could barely catch what he was saying. I gripped his shoulders tightly as I cursed loudly. Why was it now of all times that I had to be interrupted? Why couldn’t it have been any other time? I turned to Nicklos, quietly passing the injured guard off to him.
“Please bring him to the infirmary immediately. Let my father know that there was an attack. If he doesn’t hear for me in two days that he can send a search party out for my team.” Nicklos took the man against his shoulder and then wrapped his hand around my arm. Fear plainly written upon his face.
“What do you plan on doing Alliah? Why would we need to send a search party out for you?” His voice raised alarmed. But I don’t think I could tell him what I had planned, because it was too dangerous even for me. But this time, with this attack, I planed on hunting these bastards down to their base. Even if it meant that I would have to capture and torture one of these scum men. I had no intentions of returning until the issue was resolved. I couldn’t let my people or the merchants that travelled, be in fear any longer.
“Just do as I say Nicklos and don’t worry about me. I’ll be back because you owe me an explanation.” I said yanking my arm from his grasp. Without looking back, I ran through the garden doors and down the hall, tears still springing from my eyes. I didn’t know how bad this battle was going to be, or how many would make it out. I just knew that I needed to take care of this problem so that no one would get hurt.
In this moment, I just wanted to be a teenager again. I wanted to have that relationship I had with Nicklos so long ago. The laughing, the giggling, trading of tender kisses when no one was looking. I wanted to sneak around the castle in the early mornings and find those few moments of peace I would have with him. I didn’t want to head out on to the battlefield where there was no way of knowing if I would return. But I did know one thing, I would do everything in my power to make it back. I would make it back to him regardless of the injuries. Because I knew that I still loved him.
“Did we find at lease one Bandit?” I asked shoving my sword into the ground. I pulled my gloves off my hand, rubbing the numb feeling from having gripped so tightly for so long. We had fought for so long that I thought it would never end. So many of our men and theirs laid strewn across the ground like a tornado had ripped through. Blood filled the air, tainting the once beautiful field just outside the wall. It was once a home to a family of farmers, but in its wake was a shattered house, hopes, and dreams. Even if they where to move back in here, they lost their father, and the safe feeling they once felt living there. This would no longer be thought of as a home, but rather a reminder of what they once had. Memories of a happy life they once knew. “Your Majesty we sent out a few of our scouts to trail the fleeing Bandits. They tr
I felt my back collide with a solid wall, pushing all the air out from my lungs. I gritted my teeth as a hand came across my face, a sickening smack sounding off it. Pain burst across my face from the force of the slap I received. Tears welled up in my eyes as I tried to push the pain from my head. Do not show weakness, do not show them you fear them. Stay strong Alliah, you can do this. A wicked laugh came from the Knight in training that had smacked me. It was almost maniacal as it resounded off the walls and falling back to my ears. In this moment I felt truly terrified because I was outnumbered and out muscled. “So, this is the Great Crowned Princess Alliah. Look at the way you cower. I can’t believe they let someone like you train to be a Knight. You are so weak it’s pathetic. Your father must be so disappointed t
It had been an entire day since I heard anything from the scouting team. But in that time frame I was able to get wounded back to the Palace, and the dead where they belong. The field constantly smelt like rotting flesh and stale blood. It was not an appealing smell, but it was getting better every time we burned a batch of bandit bodies. We did them in small piles so we wouldn’t cause a huge grass fire. We didn’t have the water supply around to be able to stop such a huge fire. So small piles where just more convenient. With the last pile burned this morning, the forest was safe from hazards for one more day. Not that there was much of a forest anyway. It was a small meadow that surrounded us. Perfectly plowed fields laid scattered about in preparation for the early spring seeding. But now with the master of the house
We trekked through the forest until we came upon the camp site of these would think bandits. It seemed quiet at this base of theirs. Small groups of mercenaries walked down the dirt path between the houses, chatting quietly while the scanned the perimeter. They seemed nervous and on edge as they glanced between each other, holding their swords down at their sides, almost like they were expecting an attack. With having scanned the surrounding area, they walked onto the porch of an old, battered home and shut the door. Something didn’t feel right. The air seemed tense and on edge. Even my skin prickled as I scanned the small, abandoned village. Dreadfort was a very historical battle sight between my father’s Kingdom, and the Kingdom that laid just North of us. This village use to be
Nothing about this meeting made any sense to me. Who was that man and his mistress that they kept talking about? Why would they go after Illia when she was just a mere Princess? She had no real power of authority besides ordering the servants around and bossing around the people of the Kingdom as well. Other than that, she couldn’t make executive decisions or even make any laws. It was out of her jurisdiction. She was basically just a trophy that my father harbored under his wing until she could find a suitor. I could understand if they where trying to kidnap her for a ransom, but they where talking about killing her. I wonder if Illia had done something wrong to anger a nearby Kingdom. It was thanks to the river that passed through our lands that we had made some enemies. It has been awhile, and it w
I could feel the exhaustion of the last few days fall over me. My body ached with every step; my head throbbed at every slight of sound. I was sleep deprived I knew that. I could feel the heavy lids of my eyes droop as I slowly walked to my father’s study. All I wanted to do now was sleep in the soft cushions of my bed. Or maybe even relax in the warmth of my tub. I just wanted all of the anxieties of the last few days to melt away. But having to address my father with the current situation was a high priority. With my sister’s safety already addressed, I was at peace with having to deal with him. Thankfully though I wasn’t alone. General Bregus strode by my side, his stance held higher than my own. His bags under his eyes where evident like myself, but he was used to the struggles of sleepless nights and battle worn fatigue. I myself was not as use to it yet.&nbs
With a satisfied sigh, I plopped myself down on the edge of my bed, toweling off my still damp hair. I missed my bathtub and its warm relaxing waters. I missed the scent of the lavender soap that wafted the air and sank into my skin. I missed being clean. With the itch dirt no longer invading my body, I felt like I could take on another battle. I wanted to conquer another Mercenary camp and take on the evils of the world. Of course, I knew this feeling was temporary and that as soon as the feeling wore off, I was going to become dead weight again. I might as well take advantage of this feeling while I still had energy and get some work done. I could only imagine how much work had piled up in my absence. I rose from the edge of my bed and headed towards my desk. A neat pile of papers were stacked on the corner. With a gasp of disbelief,
I sat staring at my desk, the papers threatening to spill over with the new documents that had arrived. Even though the stack was just barely reaching the tip of my lap, I still felt like it was looming over me, threatening to topple and drown me in its wake. I could feel my eye twitch in annoyance, knowing for a fact now that my father was indeed assigning more paperwork as a punishment for my disobedience to return home. I suppose he could use the break though. After all that’s all he these days was slave over paper work. I better get use to it, because once he steps down or passes on, it will become my full responsibility. I picked up the first document and scanned diligently over the contents. It mostly explained the contents of the damage done by the Mercenary gang had