Valerie:
I walked into the estate I once called home, the estate I was banished from five years ago. The appearance of it hadn’t changed, yet the weight of its walls felt heavier, steeped in memories I tried to suppress.
“You should have fought back from the divorce. You should have fought back to tell him that you did not want it.” My mother's words played in my head for a moment, but I forced myself to take a deep breath as I ignored the pain that formed in my chest, the pain that I wanted nothing more than to find disappearing.
The faint sound of footsteps pulled me from my thoughts, and the door opened, revealing Elias, my older brother. His face lit up with a soft smile, one I hadn’t seen in years. The one reason why I was here was because of him. And I knew that he was well aware of that. I knew that he understood that I wouldn't be here had he not begged me to come.
“Welcome home, sorella,” he said, stepping forward and pulling me into a warm embrace.
For a moment I hesitated, wondering whether or not being here was the right thing. Knowing that I had been cast aside, left to fend for myself. But I knew that it was not his fault. I let myself sink into his familiar warmth, the warmth that he made sure to always bring to me, even when I was alone.
“It feels good to be back, fratello,” I said softly, my voice betraying the emotions I fought to keep at bay. He looked down on me, understanding my pain. I knew that he understood the anger that I felt, even as he reflected on it, but he had no words to say about it. I didn't want him to be part of this war, whatever it was, if I could call it that.
I glanced around the estate, letting my gaze linger on the intricacies of the home I grew up in. Despite everything, being here stirred a sense of nostalgia, even if it was mixed with pain. And for a moment, I smiled.
“Mama, is this where you used to live?” Adrian asked, his small voice breaking through my thoughts. The one voice that I grew to love more than anything else. The one voice that held my ground, that forced me to remember why I was doing this.
I turned to my son, who was staring at the towering ceilings and ornate decorations with wide-eyed wonder. I knew that this was not something that I expected when I told him that we were coming here; he did not know what to expect. Of course he wouldn't. He was a child.
“Yes, baby,” I said with a small smile. “When Mama was your age, this was her home.”
“It’s so big!” he exclaimed, spinning in a small circle to take it all in. I couldn’t help but laugh, brushing my hand through his hair. “If I walk here, I'm going to end up getting lost. How am I going to find you, Mama?”
“It indeed is big, but trust me when I say you are not going to get lost because your mother is always going to be by your side.” I agreed. “And even if you do get lost, if you do lose your way, there's always a way for you to find the door that I saw you. All you have to do is follow your instinct.”
“Are we staying here forever?” he asked, his bright eyes meeting mine with curiosity and a hint of uncertainty. I didn't want to stay here. I didn't want to find myself dealing with more than I could carry. The two of us had our lives together, and I did not want to lose that.
Nor did I want to find myself being put in a situation where I would be seeing those who I did not want to be seeing.
I knelt down to his level, placing my hands gently on his shoulders. “That depends on how things go from here, piccolo lupo. Whatever happens, we’ll decide together, okay? I promise.”
“Yes, Mama,” he said, nodding with a smile.
Elias stepped forward, ruffling Adrian’s hair.
“He’s grown so much since I last saw him,” he said, his voice tinged with pride. He was the one person who had accepted him, who had fought for him, and who had helped me through everything that I've been through, even though I was an outcast, and even though I knew that it was against the rules for him to help someone who was now cast as a rogue.
“He has,” I agreed, standing up. “He’s my world.”
Adrian grinned at Elias, who crouched down to his level. “Do you want to see the rest of the estate? I’ll show you where your Mama used to play when she was little.”
“Yes!” Adrian exclaimed, his excitement lighting up the room.
As Elias led him out, I lingered for a moment, letting the familiar surroundings wash over me. I hadn’t expected to come back, but now that I was here, I knew I would face whatever came next with strength.
“It feels good to be back,” I whispered to myself, taking one last deep breath before following them. “It really does…”