Chapter 3 - Her Struggle

AHANA

Uneasiness gripped my body as I was walking forth back into my box size room. I live in the western area of Old Delhi, it's a rented ground-floor apartment on the side of the road which is affordable for a middle-class person like me. But right now my thoughts are occupied with Siya who still isn't answering my calls, just her unusual last words are erring in my head, unable to understand what was all about.

Is my sister in danger and needs me or is playing pranks with me?

"Ahana"

A loud voice awakened me from my noisy thoughts, and I quickly went outside to answer the door.

My blurry vision could only see a blurry ladylike figure but then I scented a familiar smell and instantly knew that it was my landlady Mrs Ashi Batra who is very cold-blooded and unpleasant.

"Yes, Auntie"

Damn, my tongue slipped again. Now she'll chew me alive...

"Do I look like an Auntie to you?" She yelled, her noisy voice irking my ears.

"Look Mrs...

"Wait wait, ek andhi ladhki ko kaise pta hoga ki kitni sundar hun mai?"

|How will a blind girl like you will know how pretty I am?|

Her bitter words stabbed right into my heart but I didn't say a word in response and just hung my head trying to suppress the anger that is inferring me to do something bad to her.

"I'm sorry" I nodded, giving her room to come inside.

She was silent for a few seconds but then again she opened her gutter mouth.

"This is the eviction notice, Ahana" She hands me an envelope that I can't read but knew she wasn't bluffing around.

My heart dropped cause there was no way I can find something affordable as this place. My job as a dubbing artist at a studio isn't giving me much pay either so what the hell I am going to do now?

"But why?" My voice cracked, expressing how devastated I am at the moment.

Here I was thinking about going to Germany and figuring out what was going on with my sister and now I don't even know if I will have a roof over my head now?

"Your payments are irregular, you haven't paid the last two months so what did you expect that I must pity you just because you're blind?"

She snorted, bitterness riding her black tongue as I just ignored her words and looked at her warmly.

"Please give me some time, I can't just move out when I don't have any other option" I tried to make her understand but she just huffed.

"You have a week, either pay or leave" She left without even hearing me.

I heard the slamming of the door like a slap to my heart which is surging in pain as I am clueless and trapped, not knowing what to do next.

"Papa?"

Then I remembered my father who was supposed to be at home but he doesn't seem to be there. With the help of my blurry vision, I walked into his room and inspected but he wasn't there which worries me.

Throwing the envelope on the floor, I went outside and then heard his voice.

"Ahana is useless" He grumbled loudly as I just followed his voice. 

It was coming from the backside but then I dropped to the ground as something sharp has shoved inside my naked foot.

"Papa, what are you doing here?" I grimaced, clutching my leg as he didn't even bother to help me. 

"Drinking, any problem?" He shouts, pouring himself another glass.

With watery eyes and aching feet, I managed to get up and approached his blurry figure. He seems to sit on the chair as several bottles of alcohol are decorated at the table and he kept drinking more and more.

This is his usual routine, to get up and throw himself in the ocean of liquor because nothing can be more reliable than it not even his daughter so he has willingly sold himself out for it.

"Papa, can you pay the rent for two months? I promise I'll repay you next month", I dared to ask for his help even knowing he doesn't care.

All I heard was a groan and the next, I felt a strong grip on my wrist slightly twist my hand causing me to let out a painful scream.

"Such a pathetic girl, aren't you?" He hissed, twisting it more, and added, "I will spend my pension money on my precious drinks, not on a charity case like you".

A shove sent me back to my feet, giving me a hard smack of reality that life has always been unfair to me. After my mother's death, everything changed in my life. My father isn't the same, he treats me like garbage even when I am putting up with his irrelevant behavior for years now just because he's all I have left after my sister who has given up on us a long time ago.

"Papa, I am your daughter" I sobbed, unable to bear this anymore, and added, "Can't you be responsible towards me and us so we can easily tackle the hardships together?"

"Can't you understand that I need you, Papa?" I whimpered and fisted the tiny grass beside me.

There was a heavy silence but then something broke and its particles slashed my skin, causing me to wail in pain.

"But I don't need you" He bitterly declares, "No one does, you are only acknowledged because everyone pities you".

That was the last straw to hold on cause the next, I pushed myself up and stood in front of him while wiping my tears, inhaling sharply to not let his resentment get me. 

"And you know what, Papa?" I breathed, "If I am pathetic, blind, and always seek pity then you are also a pathetic excuse as a father".

"Even I deserve better than you " I scoffed, scampering away while sniffing and letting my tears drench my cheeks.

Everything was blurred, nothing seems clear and the bitter truth is - it's because I am blind, partially blind to be specific and no one ceases the chance to remind me of my reality that I can't see, that I am blind, that it's like a curse to me, that I have no right to live because of it and mostly that, it's my fault that I am sightless.

Anger and misery ran through my veins, making me regret everything I did so far for my father and Siya, they don't deserve me. I don't believe that I am anything less compared to anyone with sight. Being blind doesn't make me pathetic, it doesn't.

It doesn't...

I sink onto my knees, they burnt to be contacted with the heated concrete road and made me hiss in pain but it's nothing compared with the suffering my family has caused me.

Why can't he just appreciate my efforts? Why does Papa always treat me less, like some garbage because of what?

My heart is agonizing, unable to bear this pain of negligence. I just lay down on my back, facing the glimmering sun whose hectic gaze was burning my skin but that wasn't bothering me since the breaking of my soul is greater than any pain.

The street isn't crowded here so I wasn't even bothered by the fact if someone drives past or sees me. It doesn't matter anymore because I have had enough.

"I can't do this anymore"

I slammed both of my hands to the surface, not caring if anyone takes me crazy, and let my tears escape from my eyes.

"Then don't care about anyone"

A hypnotic soft voice tinkled in my ears, they perked up as my sobs quiet down. Amazed I tried to look and there I could see a blurred figure of a man shadowing the same sun which was burning me a while before but now I am under the scrutiny of his eyes and the shade of his body.

"Can you get up on your own?" His voice is soothing, mostly musical. 

Dazed, I regain my footing and was suddenly aware of not wearing any slippers on my feet. Slightly bashful, I was stumbled but instantly caught by him. A strong pair of arms was assisting me, alongside the warmth that I needed, and unknowingly he was lending me.

He isn't from here, I am sure because his English is so fluent and consistent. He has to be a foreigner...

"Always be careful, you never know when a distraction can be fatal," He said, gently pulling away.

I didn't understand him but nodded, silently making my way past him trying not to make a fool of myself in front of him and I am too exhausted anyway. I don't think it's right to bother anyone, especially a charming stranger like him.

"Ms Ahana, I am Elijah"

I froze, my eyes growing wide in surprise because he knows my name but how?

"Who are you?"

I was on my guard, nothing was making sense neither my current situation nor his unexpected arrival. 

"I am, Dr. Elijah Valentine"

My head started spinning abruptly, don't know if it was because of heated weather or his intro but knew one thing, Avi has called him here for me. Closing my eyes, with some wobbling steps I just submitted myself to the darkness while mumbling some precise words.

"I don't need anyone"