Night out

*Nathan POV*

I groaned, frustrated over the financial sheet. I can't seem to focus on anything since Anthony and Ariane's visit.

Two weeks ago, my friend Anthony Newfort, Alpha of the Full Moon Pack came to visit my pack, together with his mate Ariane and Beta Ethan.

From the start, I could sense that there was something different about Ariane. And Anthony also seemed to change as well.

As the rogues attacked the same day, it turned out that Ariane is a damn Goddess, not only that, she is the Moon Goddess' daughter!

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed.

When I told her that I was not actively looking for a mate, she said that I could change my mind quickly.

I asked Anthony later what that was about. He said that as Selene's daughter she has a gift of premonition, she can tell if someone is close to meeting their mate. And she could sense that my mate was near.

I closed my laptop with a thump and leaned my head into my hands.

I never felt the need to have a mate. I'd never planned on rejecting her when I found her. It's just. I haven't been craving it.

Sure, I had fun in my teenage years, I wasn't a monk, but I didn't need sex and, more importantly, I've never wanted a relationship.

Since I started my Alpha training at 20, I have completely strained from women and any type of relations with them.

I needed my head screwed on hard. I wanted to focus on becoming the strongest in our state. Packs in Washington state are known for their strength and relentlessness, but most of them are very closed and stray from alliances. They barely even compete in the annual Wolf Games.

My father is the same, he wanted to close the pack, to not mingle, but seeing other young Alphas-to-be at camps, made me think about change. I wanted to make a difference, to ally with other strong Packs and Alphas, so we could stand together if a bigger threat came.

First thing I did when I became an Alpha was to contact Anthony. His pack is the strongest, biggest and most ruthless on the continent. I was lucky to befriend him during one of the camps. He already knew about rogues and was open to creating an alliance. He has a similar opinion to my own. We both want to bring the packs closer, so we can assist each other and exchange information more fluently and faster.

And it seems it was the right decision.

Rogues started to organize themselves into groups and, from what my Intel was able to find, they seem to have a leadership structure, almost like a pack. There is one on the top, Matthias, and he has his five generals.

Well, four now, as Anthony tore apart one of them during the latest rogue attack.

We were able to find out that the five generals have a mission to find and kill the strongest Alphas in America and it seems I am seen as one of them.

Now we have to figure out who is next.

How can I think about getting a mate now? I know what my priorities are for now. I'm afraid that when I find her, I'll focus on her too much and, in effect, I'll completely forget about my other responsibilities.

No, I can't let that happen now.

But if I reject her, I'll probably lose my biggest ally. Anthony wouldn't be okay with that. He wanted his mate for years, he fought and trained for her, the mate bond is sacred to him.

I heard knocking on my door and both my Beta and Gamma came in.

We have all been friends since childhood, our close bond only grew stronger in years and they were my natural choice for these positions.

Kaiden is my Beta. He is 23 and is as tall as me but not as muscled. He is the smartest one of us. He met his mate, Trinity, when they were both 19. They lived near each other and were always close. They even got married not long after marking and have a 3-year-old boy together. Currently, Trinity is in her second pregnancy.

Caleb is 26, he is a year older than me. We both look alike in terms of our body built. He is responsible for training the warriors, as he is almost the strongest wolf in the pack. Obviously, not stronger than me, but he is close. He still doesn't have a mate and he seems to be as uninterested as I am.

"Hej, Alpha. Are you done for today. Kaiden asked and sat across. Caleb was silent as always.

"Yeah, I don't think I can focus on anything today." I groaned, leaning back on my chair.

"Great, me and Trinity are going to Bellforth tonight to grab some food and do something. Why don't you two come with us?" He said excitedly, like a puppy.

"I don't want to be a third wheel during your date." Caleb said with a huff. I nodded.

"It's not a date. Trinity is starting her fourth month today. Soon she won't be able to go anywhere. I want her to have a nice evening out with friends." Kaiden said with big eyes. "Come on, she wants to hang out with you guys, will you say no to a pregnant she-wolf?"

"How can we say no now?" I groaned again, exhaling. "Fine, but no dancing or clubs, I don't feel like it."

Caleb just sighed and nodded his head in agreement, he is a man of few words.

"Great, I'll tell her. She'll be so happy. We leave at 7." Kaiden jumped from his chair and stormed out.

"I feel like we've made a mistake." Caleb huffed, looking at the door where Kurt disappeared a second ago.

"Yeah, don't tell me about it." I slapped my forehead and stood up. "It's better if we go get ready, I don't want to piss off a pregnant Trinity."

"Yeah, she is scary, not only while pregnant." Caleb nodded and left my office.

What bad can happen on Thursday evening?

***

*Caleb POV*

Great, another night out means another night of pretending. I groaned with frustration while still in the shower. I moved my head up and the water was now hitting my face directly.

I know Nathan thinks I also don't want my mate. He is wrong. I crave my mate. I can't wait to have this special, destined person in my life already, but this also comes with a fear.

What if my friends turn their backs on me?

We have known each other for the past 20 years, yet they have no idea that I hold a secret this big from them.

I'm gay.

And I have known it since I was a teenager. It was hard for me to accept at first, but I came to a peace with myself.

But even though I am okay with it, I have no idea how people around me would react.

My mother passed away when I was 7. My father met his second chance mate a few years back and he moved south with her. To settle in her pack. I was already an adult and with Nathan being my close friend, I knew I could hold a position there. And I wasn't wrong. As soon as he was announced Alpha, he made Kurt his Beta and me his Gamma.

I don't really keep in touch with my dad, he has a new family and kids, and I don't think he wants me back in his life. It's okay, though. Kaiden and Nate have been my good friends and support for years.

Why am I still so afraid to tell them?

I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. I dried myself with a big towel and went inside my closet.

I got dressed in a pair of black jeans, a white button-up shirt and a black sports jacket. I looked at myself in the mirror.

I have a little longer black hair and eyes, I'm 6.6 and well built. I know I'm handsome. I have had women approach me before.

Fortunately, they stopped with the advances after I told them off a couple of times. Saying that I want to wait for my mate.

And I do, it's just I don't know if I will want my mate.

Mating between the same gender had been rather unheard of. I know that it has happened before, but honestly, I've lost my hope.

What if I get mated to a female? Will I be able to love her? To want her? I can't even imagine sleeping with a woman. I don't want to be stuck in a relationship that I won't be happy in. It's not fair to me or to my potential mate.

And if I get mated to a guy, will my friend accept me? What if they don't and I lose my title? My position, my job and friends have been my life. I can't live without any of it. But will I be able to reject my mate?

What if I have to choose? Mate or position. What's the right choice?

***

*Nathan POV*

We took two cars to Bellforth. I was driving one with Caleb in the passenger seat and we were following Kaiden and Trinity in their car.

I glanced at my friend, he looked at the window with a stern expression. Something had been bothering him for some time now, yet he still didn't want to talk about it. I respect his boundaries and never asked, believing that he will talk to me if he needs help.

"Hey, Caleb?" I sighed and asked, looking at him from the corner of my eye.

"Yeah?" He sat up straight and looked at me.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, sure." He said, but looked away. Aha, I knew it.

"You know that you can talk to me, right? About anything." I turned to him while stopping at the red light.

Caleb looked at me in the eyes, without his usual frown, his eyes wide.

"I can see that something is eating you up. I'm here to help you, man." I smiled at him.

"I know. It's… nothing really. I need to handle this myself." He sighed but smiled after a while. "Thanks, I appreciate that."

"Will you tell me when you're ready?"

"Yeah, you will be the first to know." He chuckled and visibly relaxed.

"So what do you think they are going to make us do?" I asked, trying to diffuse the mood. Caleb chuckled.

"Honestly, it can be anything from ice skating to pottery." Caleb groaned and I laughed. "Hormonal Trinity is unpredictable."

"Yeah, that she is. They do match each other nicely though. Kaiden and Trinity? I've never seen a couple that good." I sighed, thinking suddenly about my own mate.

Will we be as good of a match?

"Well, Anthony and Ariane aren't that different." Caleb chuckled. I joined him on that.

"It's hard to believe that they practically just met. I wonder if every mate bond is like that?"

Caleb looked at me and pondered. He turned his face to the side window.

"Yeah, me too." He sighed.

"Do you want your mate?" I asked, looking at him, side eye.

"I don't know." He said quietly, gazing at the street. "From one side, I do, a lot. From the other. I'm scared."

I looked at him, parking my car behind Kaiden's. Caleb never struck me as someone who is emotional. I always thought that he didn't even think of having his mate right now, but it seems like I was wrong.

"I'm sure you'll find someone perfect for you that will make you happy." I smiled and detached my seat belt.

Caleb nodded his head and stepped out of the car.

Kaiden and Trinity were already waiting for us, the she-wolf visibly excited, almost jumping in place.

"You guys are going to love it!" She squealed, giving me and Caleb tickets.

"What? Where are we going?" I asked, surprised, and glanced at the ticket in my hand.

"A musical!" She smiled widely, nodding to Kaiden right next to her.

Fuck me.