56

Harriet nods slowly.

The pleased look in Finn’s eyes doesn’t help me relax. “Why don’t you go clean up, and then we’ll have dinner,” I suggest firmly.

“But I wanna know—”

“Finn.”

“Fine,” he complains. “Can my grandmother stay for dinner?”

“If she wants to, sure.”

“I would love to,” Harriet replies sweetly. “Now, hurry up and do what your mother says so we can eat.”

Finn rushes off without another word, and I give Harriet an impressed look. “It normally takes me half an hour to convince him to do his chores. From the moment he learned how to talk, I swear the first thing he did was argue with me. Everything is a negotiation with him. And I know he didn’t get that from me.”

“No,” Harriet laughs. “He definitely got that from his father. Cedric was the same way. Stubborn to a fault. So, Finn not only looks like his father but acts like him, as well. He’s going to be a handful.”

My lips curve upward. “Well, he’s my handful, and I’m grateful for him.”

Harriet’s own smile dims. “Do you really not intend for him to know who his father is?”

“Not yet.” I study her. “You disagree.”

She sighs. “If I were standing in your shoes, I would understand. But I’ve seen both sides of the picture, Leanna. I know what you don’t. I know that we were duped by Bella, and I know that I was right all along.” Her eyes tighten around the corners. “I knew Cedric would never have ordered your execution, and he never did. His only fault was giving Bella another chance. She had his royal seal. She knew that he had feelings for you and that he would choose you over Vivian. So, she forged the letter to get you out of the way. She admitted it.”

My jaw clenches. “You can’t expect me to believe that she would risk Cedric’s wrath, that she would go against him. She was loyal to him—”

“You don’t know Bella. She’s prideful and arrogant, and your presence—along with Cedric defending you and punishing her—attacked her pride. Even as a child, when angry, Bella was ruthless. She would stop thinking with her head. She always had to get her way, damn the consequences.” A hint of sadness touches Harriet’s eyes. “Cedric turned his back on her. When the elders sided with her, Cedric took control of the castle away from her. She became Vivian’s royal advisor, at the princess’s demand, but Bella lost all her childhood friends. And even now, she still thinks she was right to do what she did. Of course, the people who suffered the most were you and Cedric.”

I look away, not wanting to hear more. I’ve spent a lot of mental effort putting those events behind me. I don’t want to go back and rehash the past. However, Harriet clearly came here with a purpose in mind.

“Leanna.” Her voice is gentle. “I’m not here to advocate for him. But I also don’t want the two of you to suffer, drowning in misunderstandings. Cedric never forgave himself for your death. It’s been eight years, and his grief and guilt have permeated every part of his existence. You had brought him to life, Leanna, and when you left, you took all his hope and joy away with you.”

The broken edge to her voice has my eyes burning with tears. Still, I say nothing.

“When you came along, you managed to touch his heart, something no one else was ever able to do, not even me. He didn’t want to care for you, but you were so easy to love, so fragile that despite his reluctance, he wanted to protect you. And those feelings evolved with the time he spent with you. You showed him the possibility of a world that he never imagined, a life that he never thought could belong to him. He didn’t want Vivian. The only thing he wanted was you.”

Something hot and wet drops on my hand. My face is wet.

No. I won’t believe it. I can’t.

“It has always only been you, Leanna,” Harriet says quietly. “Cedric was fading fast after you left. When he returned after each day on the battlefield, he was a little bit more broken, a little bit more disappointed that he hadn’t died.”

My heart aches, and I sink my teeth into my lower lip, wishing this feeling away. “No.” I get to my feet. “Enough. If you just came here to tell me all this—He mated Vivian, didn’t he? She’s his queen. They are—”

“He never mated her.” Harriet’s words are stark and have me going still.

“You’re lying,” I say hoarsely. “She’s the queen. I may have turned my back on the Northern Kingdom, but I know what happened after I left. She became queen. The false queen was removed, and—”

“The elders tried to force Cedric to take part in a mating ceremony with Vivian after they opposed his decision to kill her. They might have been able to ensure her survival, but Cedric wasn’t going to give her what she wanted. He and I left that morning, before the mating ceremony. She was humiliated. The elders tried to compel his return, but he refused. He goes back once a year, and every time, Vivian tries her best to seduce him so that she can at least carry his heir and legitimize her position. But he won’t touch her. He threw her out of his room naked once. He has made his stance clear to the elders. They can have her as their queen, but she is not his mate.”

“Harriet—”

The older woman gets to her feet. “She’s nothing but a placeholder for you. She’s not the one mated to Cedric in any way or form, not even a legal ceremony. You are the one who is his legal mate. He has always refused to give her your place.”

Why?

Why would Cedric do that? Why is he here now? Why is Harriet here telling me all this?

I don’t want to know! I don’t want to know any of it.

The tears aren’t stopping, and I don’t know what to do.

Harriet’s arms wrap around me. “I’m sorry, child. I know you’ve spent all these years angry at him.”

The sobs erupt, and I sink into her embrace, helpless.

I hate him.

I still hate him. I have to. Because I don’t know how else to feel.

My heart feels like it’s ripping apart. I don’t want to cry like this. I don’t want to be like this.

But it hurts so much.

I don’t understand what these tears are for, or why my heart feels like it’s breaking. But Harriet’s hold on me is warm and feels safe, and close to a decade of my grief and suffering is coming out.