Chapter 5

Faith's Pov

The weight of our last conversation weighed deeply in my heart and soul. The way Astor dismissed my feelings and the lack of understanding made me realise that he didn't see me or want me.

I feel exhausted and believe I need to take a step back to reflect on my true aspirations. So I decided to stop my hectic life, and the easiest way to do that was to pretend to be sick.

I stayed in my room for several days and told everybody that I had a fever.

I just needed to rest. But my 'rest' only made things worse outside my door. The pack needed their Luna, and without me to guide things, everything started to fall apart.

I heard the whispers whenever someone came to check on me, or really, to complain.

"If she wants to be the Luna, then she should be doing her duties."

"Why isn't she helping?"

"This is all her fault."

No one asked if I was really okay. No one offered to bring me soup or just something to make me feel better. Their voices were full of disappointment, even anger.

"The Luna is ill again?”

"It’s been days. What kind of Luna abandons her duties?”

They were always complaining because there was something missing around the pack, and nobody thought to order it since I'm always doing it. Sometimes it would be somebody who didn't bother to even come and do their duty of cleaning or cooking because nobody ever keeps so much on each other unless I have to remind them.

Apparently, the kids weren't even in good condition because they were always asking about me, and sometimes they even cried, and it made me feel guilty because I was just taking a much-needed rest while the outside world needed me.

It's so much worse because Astor has been busy with the seminar, so he's often away.

And then there was Alice. While I 'sick,' she seemed to step into my place easily. I heard pack members talking about how helpful she was, how kind, how she was trying to solve everything.

"She's so thoughtful, so understanding. A true Luna in spirit.”

Alice had become the new center of the pack. They were all trying to please her, while the taunts were reserved for me.

This is what Alice does best. She always knows what’s best for herself.

In the Eclipse Pack, she effortlessly won our parents’ affection by playing the role of the devoted daughter. Even though I was their real daughter, they loved Alice more. She had a way of making everyone believe I could never measure up.

Lying in bed, listening to the world move on without me, was just a reminder that no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, they would never accept me. The real reason for their dislike was simple: I was Luna without a wolf.

Without that power, without that connection, I was nothing to them. I was just a human girl filling a place they believed only a true Luna could hold.

I can never attain that respect because I will never have a wolf, but Alice does. She has everything they wish that I have. She is everything they need.

It doesn't matter how hard I work to prove to them that I can be a good Luna because they will never see me as that.

I made a decision about life for the first time ever. I don't know whether it's a good or bad one, but it's time for me to go. For my mental health, because I'm losing pieces and pieces of myself here.

It was like a lightbulb that suddenly lit out of nowhere, and I finally decided to put myself first.

I didn't take much because most of the things that I have here I purchased with Astor's money, and I want to leave here with something that is completely mine and things that I own.

I didn't even have to take much, so it was a small suitcase that carried three years of my life, and it's quite sad if you ask me because it's the only thing I have to show for all these years.

I wasted them trying to build myself to be somebody that Astor wanted. I wanted everybody to like me, but none of that worked.

I was sure that I wouldn't encounter anybody because people are always busy with something or the other at this time of day, and they don't really care where I'm going.

I sighed and almost turned back as soon as I stepped out of my room, but I had to go.

The Eternal Night Pack doesn't belong to me.

I was about to leave when I met a man waiting in front of the packhouse.

It was the Gamma Chase.

“Where are you going?” He looked at me, then at my bag, and finally said with disappointment, “You want to use your leaving to threaten Alpha into sending Alice away? You're not that important to us.”

I didn't respond to him. 

Every action I'd taken as Luna had been dissected with poisoned tongues, every kindness twisted into manipulation. I'd exhausted myself weaving explanations for wolves who preferred the taste of lies.

No more.

"Everyone knows the Alpha's heart belongs to Alice," Chase taunted, circling me with predator's grace. "You should have never returned to the Eclipse Pack in the first place. You should have continued to live as a normal human in a shady corner. Did you really think you could replace her?"

The air grew thick with the weight of watching eyes. Some members of the pack stopped in their tracks at his drama, but their silence spoke louder than Chase's cruel words.

"Astor never wanted you," Chase finished with a condescending smile that revealed too-sharp canines. "And neither do we."

"Tell me, Chase," A cold laugh escaped my lips, "does Alice keep you on a leash, or do you heel voluntarily?"

His face darkened instantly, muscles tensing like a coiled spring. "What the hell are you implying?"

I took a step forward, my gaze traveling slowly from his boots to his furious eyes. "I'm saying you trail after her like a starving mutt begging for scraps." My voice dropped to a whisper only he could hear.

"f**k you!"

His palm cracked against my cheek with enough force to snap my head to the side. The sting bloomed across my skin, but I refused to lift a hand to soothe it. Instead, I turned back slowly, meeting his gaze with a smile that didn't reach my eyes.

"Ah," I murmured, tasting blood on my lip. "So the dog bites when provoked. How... predictable."

Chase lunged again, but was yanked back by the others in the pack. They took control of the angry Gamma in the hope of stopping everything.

"Mark this moment well, Chase," I said, my voice dripping with icy promise. "I'll make you pay for that slap."

Turning on my heel, I strode toward the gates without a backward glance. My single bag weighed nothing compared to the burdens I'd carried for this ungrateful pack.

The sting of Chase's slap faded, but so did the last remaining vestige of my disenchantment with Eternal Night Pack.

As I walked away from Eternal Night territory, a bitter laugh escaped me. Would Astor even notice my absence? Would he care enough to follow?

No. 

He won't.

He's always trying to get rid of me. His indifference and neglect were tacit approval of the pack's treatment of me as an outsider. A true Alpha would have commanded respect for his Luna, but Astor had only ever given them disdain to mirror. 

So, my leaving was the best decision.