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Chapter 18 - Date with Chris
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Always Finding Mr Wrong Chapter 19 - Ready for The Practical
To my credit, I don’t end up sleeping with Chris. I always knew I wouldn’t, but sometimes I surprise myself by how old-fashioned I am. Instead, when we get back to his house, the two guys he shares it with are competing with their girlfriends at Just Dance. Never missing an opportunity to crucify a dance track, we sing and dance until 3am. At least, I sing; Chris abstains coolly, which would make me feel self-conscious if I were sober. When the others disappear to bed, things get steamy again on the sofa. Look, I never said I was a complete angel.I reluctantly call it a night at 5:30am, determined to leave him wanting. This requires every bit of will power I can muster – a challenge given that my willpower is largely obliterated, along with my ability to walk or talk properly. I sometimes wonder how I would have coped in the nineteenth century when you had to wait until your wedding night before reaching the inner sanctum of your beloved’s trousers. Still, they didn’t have tequila s
Always Finding Mr Wrong Chapter 20 - Scouting for Girls
Dani’s attention to project Scott has dwindled before we’ve even been here for fifteen minutes. It’s not through lack of commitment, she’s keen to point out, but because a six foot four Jake Gylenhall look-a-like athlete walks in and well we can’t say that she didn’t warn us.She instructs Scott to watch and learn, and practically shimmies across the room in her skyscraper take me to bed heels. She touches the athletes elbow in a way that couldn’t be sexier if she was a burlesque girl.Dani cares not that he is engaged in conversation with a group of five. She cares not that as she tosses her hair over her shoulder in a bewitching way, she almost knocks someone’s drink out of their hand. She cares even less that, as she introduces herself to him, the women around him glare at her so intensely that you can almost see daggers.Within mere seconds, she’s deep in conversation with the best looking man in the room – and he’s lapping her up.Scott shakes his head in amazement. “If that’s th
Always Finding Mr Wrong Chapter 21 - The Chatting Up Chat
“This is killing me. We can’t stay in here all night. Go to the toilet again. Go on,” I tell Katie. “I’ve been three times already in the last hour and each time it was rammed,” replies Katie. “Why is it so busy in here? It’s normally quiet and civilised.” “I don’t know. Maybe it’s payday or something. Come on, Katie. Do it for Scott.” “If I go again, people are going to think I have a urine infection or something.” She frowns. “Do you think I’d get away with going again?” I ask. “I don’t think so. If Scott spotted you the last four times, like you suspect. We should just let nature take its course. He’s still over there, so he must be doing something right.” “We think he’s still over there,” I clarify. “He could have gone anywhere in the last three minutes.” “Pop your head up again, if you must.” “Okay,” I nod. I clamber onto my hands and knees and spin around on my seat in preparation for my latest recon mission. I have this down to a fine art now. Pop up my
Always Finding Mr Wrong Chapter 22 - Another Failed Attempt
Scott’s next series of seduction attempts aren’t much more successful. Although Katie and I aren’t supposed to be monitoring him, in the end it’s a good thing we have. Everything and I mean – absolutely everything - that he learned in our practice sessions is forgotten when he’s within a few feet of a real, live, in the flesh female. The main problem though, is how uncomfortable he looks. Every time he approaches someone, his worried eyes give off strange vibes that make the women glare at him suspiciously, as if wondering if they may have to use their rape alarm on him. When he finally does engage with a woman at the bar, she’s so drunk that she can barely stand up, let alone focus on Scott or any kind of conversation. After a few minutes of apparent conversation – which on Scott’s part involves spewing out over 100 words a minute and on her part involves a lot of slurring and dribbling, she slips off the bar stool and onto the floor. Scott rushes to her aid and is grabbed o
Always Finding Mr Wrong Chapter 23 - Mum and Steve
“What’s new?” I ask mum, as I demolish my second custard cream. I keep telling myself that I didn’t enjoy the first. But they are annoyingly more-ish. Probably because there’s only half a syn in them. “Oh you know,” mum sighs as she polishes the picture frames for probably the third time today. “Your dad has been reciting romantic poetry and has been on a huge shopping spree. I have to say, I love the Gucci knickers.” “Not a lot then,” I say as I take a sip of my tea. “Oh well, I’d I make the big pay roll I’ll buy you as many pairs of Gucci knickers as you want.” “I’m sure they’re overrated anyway,” she sighs as she puts her duster down. “Your dad definitely wouldn’t notice the difference between Gucci and Asda George.” “That’s men for you, mum,” I tell her. “They aren’t all like that, are they?” She asks. I lean back on my chair as my brother Steve walks in. It’s march, below ten degrees and as per usual he is wearing his shorts and hoody. “Alright, sis?” He mutters a
Always Finding Mr Wrong Chapter 24 - Second Date with Chris
I’m trying my absolute best to look trendy, cool and confident. The sad truth is that unfortunately my neck has come out in hives again and my hands are sweating like mad. The reality of a second date with Chris the optician is too much to bear. My logic tells me that I should be excited and feel nothing but positive about the occasion. The fact that he liked me enough to ask me for a second date should bring some confidence. The problem is is, logic isn’t something that I have a grip on at the moment. And things haven’t been helped by his choice of venue.When Chris had first suggested Goathland, I had visions of a romantic lunch at the sport Heartbeat was filmed, maybe a relaxing stroll, or even a scenic train ride. Up until yesterday when we spoke on the phone – I hadn’t imagined a day of hiking. 10 miles to be precise, taking the popular trails to each landmark of note. And that was before I read about how slippery and difficult the routes can be. I’ve no one to blame but myself
Always Finding Mr Wrong Chapter 25 - Date Gone Wrong
“Say, Chris… when do you think we’ll reach the top of this one?” I ask barely able to breathe. He pauses and turns, “this peak usually take around ninety minutes to reach, to hit them all its nine miles, and then the nine miles back.”I stop and put my foot on a rock and pretend to adjust my shoelace while I discreetly suck in oxygen. But, I can hide my heaving chest, even in this tent of a coat. Next I remove my glove and look at my watch. “If I recall the guide, I’d say we have already been at it for an hour,” I wheeze.“Yes. We have,” he replies. It suddenly strikes me that unless I come up with something soon, my game is up. I’m going as fast as I can to keep up with him, but the muscles in my legs feel as though they’re on fire, my lungs are ready to collapse – and despite wearing more clothing than the average mountain climber, I’m bloody freezing. I already know without looking in a mirror that my cheeks are flushed and my lips are blue. I can’t feel the end of my nose, my
Always Finding Mr Wrong Chapter 26 - I Have A Third Date
“Oh Scott, he’s just a dream,” I say hazily as I lower myself onto a seat at the kitchen table with legs that are still trembling in pain. “We’ve so much in common, did I tell you?” By the next day, I’ve forgotten all the terrible parts of the date, and I’m finding it impossible to think about anything other than how drop dead gorgeous he is. The simmering sexual tension is no doubt fuelled by the fact that we still haven’t consummated the relationship yet. I’m determined to leave it a while with this one: Chris is boyfriend material – I can feel it. The last thing I want is to give in to temptation and get it on with him too soon, leaving him with any doubts about my girlfriend potential. So after our drive back to Hull, we had an old fashioned snog on the doorstep and said goodnight. I’m so bloody proud of myself. But, I don’t know how long I’ll be able to resist.Scott looks up from his daily paper and smiles, “Yes, you did.”“It’s amazing. He’s into stranger things – like me. An
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