Chapter 5

I heard the front door slam and realised the time. My “family” was back.

Justine must have seen the distress on my face. In a blink of an eye, she cleared up my weapons, laid back on the bed, and acted like she was asleep. For a moment, I thought she wasn’t acting and that she actually was asleep.

Just as I was about to slip out, she said: “Remember tomorrow is going to be a long day, so come to bed early.”

I glanced over my shoulder and whispered “Good night, Justine, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She was gone, sound asleep. Or so it seemed.

I ran down the stairs, taking two at a time. She looked at me, shocked, but then she was scowling.

“You! What do you want?” I just stared at her anger bubbling inside me. Not even a ‘hallo’ or even a ‘how was your day,’ no I’m not good enough for that.

“I have a friend over, and she is staying for a while.” I said bluntly.

“You didn’t even ask. How dare you disrespect me like that…?” (What the hell.)

“Well, your husbands' little ho doesn’t ask you anything, but you allow her boyfriends to sleep over and guess what in-her-bed!” I stated.

I knew that was a little childish or even a lot, but I just didn't care.

“You little slut!” I heard Ratchel from behind mom.

“I’m not the slut here.” I reminded her deliberately.

My mom was staring at me, looking stunned and aggravated.

I was feeling a little guilty staring into her eyes, almost inviting her, to attack me. For a moment, I felt like I wanted to end her. I was looking at her as if she were nothing more than a bug. The feeling to pounce was rising in my body, and it felt so good but at the same time bewildering. I couldn’t make out exactly what I was feeling. I averted my eyes so that this feeling could subside. At that instant, I saw Ratchel running towards me, looking fierce she jumped, knocked my frozen mom out of the way, and slapped me (or tried) through my face.

“You hit like a girl” I hissed at her and punched her in the face.

As my fist collided with her nose, I heard a deafening crack. (O' crap, I think I broke her nose).

When the thought passed me and my red tinted vision was subsiding as the anger left my body, I heard my mothers' piercing scream.

“You little whore; you broke my baby’s nose!” I heard Peter stating the obvious. I looked at him grinning. “O dear, I am so sorry.” I said sarcastically, saved one last look at my still screaming mother in the corner, turned and started walking up the stairs when someone yanked my ponytail. That caused me to lose my balance and fall down the stairs.

I felt my body bouncing and twisting. My body ached as I stood up, anger rising to exploding point within me. I looked at the three people standing in front of me. (If looks could kill, they would be dead by now.) And from the scared expressions on their face I knew, they knew what I was thinking.

I glared at them fire reflecting through my eyes, crouching, ready to jump. I observed their postures; Ratchel sitting on her ass, her nose a bloody mess, she was scowling at me, tears running down her cheeks. She was sobbing loudly. My mom terrified kneeling by her side, her eyes never leaving my face. Peter stared at me with hate and lust all mixes up in his shit coloured eyes. I could see he was afraid attempting to hide it by looking strong or angry.

I stood up, my spine cracking as I straightened it. (I’m so going to be stiff tomorrow.)

“I-am-going-to-bed” I said slowly so that they could understand me clearly.

“You will not stay in this house any longer”

I gave him a smirk, smiled, and spit the words out; “Good because I was planning on leaving before my birthday anyhow.”

I couldn’t help but look at my mom, she looked shocked.

“You should probably get that fixed.” I said, pointing at Ratchels nose.

I smiled at her and slid past them up the stairs. I silently went into my room hoping Justine was still sleeping.

“Nia, what happened?”

“Mm” I thought for a moment. “I’m not sure, but I think I overreacted or exploded, don’t know, don’t care but bottom-line. I broke Ratchels nose.”

“Oh…You should learn to control your anger and emotions.” She looked at me with a worried expression.

“Nah, I have controlled them for far to long.”

She looked at me and rolled her eyes. I smiled and got in my bed without undressing or even taking a shower. I realized I craved.

“Night Justine.”

“Night Nia.”

I rolled onto my stomach and instantly drifted to sleep.

I was still in a foul mood when I slipped out of the house, making my way to school. Alone because Justine didn’t feel like going today (couldn’t I be her). I wasn’t in the mood for school or any human interaction. I couldn’t think of anything worse at this very moment.

I was about a block away from my house when I heard someone behind me. I didn’t want to look because deep down. About there, where my heart is supposed to be, I knew who it was that was following me.

“Zinnia, wait up.” I heard his voice confirming my suspicion. “Zinnia, please!” I heard his voice now pleading. Suddenly, with a gush of wind, he was next to me (can’t he leave me alone?).

“Nia…please stop!” He grabbed my arm and made me stop.

I felt like crying at that moment (What’s wrong with me, I can’t fall for him. I can’t!). I looked him in the eyes, and then he looked away.

“Eric, what do you want?”

“I wanted to say I am sorry about yesterday.”

He looked at the road, at his feet, then eventually at me. A dim hope lit his blue eyes as it met my eyes.

“Well, apology not accepted.” I said my voice dead.

“Okay” he cleared his throat he most certainly didn’t expect that reply. “Can I at least walk you to school?” He said trying to smile.

“Why? So that you will be embarrassed to be seen with me. No, I don’t think so. You know what you can do, though. Walk over the street don’t look back, and hopefully, a car will hit you.” I said, tears streaming down my face (Why does he do this to me?).

I looked at him, his mouth hanging open with shock; he tried to say something but failed. Then, at last, he managed to say;

“Ouch, I…I probably deserved that” he cleared his throat again, “I just wanted to tell you I really am sorry about yesterday. I couldn’t stop thinking about what I did to you and that just after I apologized.”

I was about to walk away from him when he turned me towards him. He held my upper arm tightly but still so tenderly in his grip. For a moment, I wondered what it would be like in his embrace. To be touched by him with tenderness all over my body. To be held in his arms and whisper sweet nothings. My cheeks instantly heated up. I stood there motionless; I looked at the ground at my side as if it were the most interesting thing I have ever seen. Hoping he did not see the yearning in my eyes. I wished he would stop touching me, just let me walk away. He let go of one arm and turned my head towards him. I refused but he gently forced me to look into those beautiful, shimmering eyes. I caught my breath unwillingly.

“Nia what is wrong?”

He asked it so tenderly and with so much care in his voice while wiping the tears from my face with his index finger. I tried to pull away. I didn’t want to look into those eyes. Afraid he might just see what I was feeling or what I am thinking. (Damn, I didn’t even know what I was thinking or feeling. Whatever it was, I wish I didn’t. And I most certainly didn’t want to let him see it. I don't want to be THAT girl.)

“I’m fine” I spat out.

He cupped my face with both hands. He bent down and kissed me softly.

I didn’t expect that, and suddenly, I felt light-headed. A wonderful sensation trembled through my body like a crashing wave. I could feel my body leaning into his, deepening the kiss. I couldn’t think properly. My heart was exploding within my chest. My body burned where he touched, sending a new sensation through me, my heart, my thoughts. I could not explain this new feeling. All I knew was that I wouldn’t mind if he ripped my clothes to shreds, right then and there.

When at last he pulled away, I realized what I was doing. I pushed him away from me reluctantly but with forced violence. That loosened his grip. I escaped his embrace and ran home (How? Why? I didn’t want this…he is a good kisser, though, no, a great kisser. No!). My mental bubble was disturbed by his voice, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. I refused to stop or turn around. I knew he wasn’t following me because his voice turned into a whisper. I ran into the house quietly, locked the door, and ran up the stairs in less than maybe two seconds. I closed the door behind me, leaning against it to support my weight. My legs suddenly didn’t have the strength to hold me up any longer. I felt weak and exhausted. When I looked up from my knees, I got a huge fright because Justine was right in front of me. I had actually forgotten about her in my escape to solitude. I felt a new batch of tears dwelling in my eyes when she spoke in such a loving tone.

“What is wrong, Nia?”

I couldn’t form words instantly, but when I did, the tears bombarded me, cascading down my face.

“I don’t know, I can’t understand it or rather I can’t control my own emotions.”

“What happened?” she asked in her motherly tone. That tone made me cry even more because I was not used to being cared for.

“Eric kissed me and I liked it but I shouldn’t because I should hate him…I think I hate him or I’m not sure if I should hate him but every time I think his nice he always ends up hurting me. I don’t know why I feel this way or even what I feel…

“I am not going to school anymore. The more time I spend training, the faster I will be ready, and the sooner we can leave. And the further away I stay from Eric, the happier I will be… I think. I don’t know.

“I’m so confused.” I blurted out, sniffling. Tears stained my cheeks.

She surprised me by saying: “Okay, that’s good, we must leave as soon as possible.”

At first, I was a bit shocked and relieved, but then she continued on saying what any normal parent would say. I assume.

“But you still have to go to school.”

I rolled my eyes at her and laid my head upon my knees, sulking.