Chapter 3 AZMIA MISS FATHER (my idol)

A spoiled and lazy child is a term that is often spoken by fathers. However, he loves his daughter very much. Whatever I want, I ask, always granted by him. No one can replace Father in this heart. My father is my idol man.

Sometimes he is very "cruel" in matters of worship, his orders cannot be denied. Prayers at the beginning of time and the Koran must be done every day. Azan Maghrib reverberated, should be at home when. Dad said, daughters are not good often go out at night.

When you are a teenager, you are no longer allowed to indulge in genitals, all clothes must be completely covered. Mini skirts and tight t-shirts, which were a fashion trend as a teenager, had to be forgotten. However, my father's prohibition only applies at home, so reprimands and punishments take turns in adolescence.

Until one day, my father forced me to start wearing the hijab because I was 17 years old. It's still very clear in my memory, my father's words at that time.

"My father will be held accountable later. Does Mia want Dad to be punished because Mia doesn't obey Dad?!”

My father's and I's eyes met. Maybe because she was very young, with a stubborn and unruly nature, wanting to enjoy a worldly life like other teenage girls, made her angry.

"Father, don't worry, Mia herself will be responsible for all Mia's behavior! Not Daddy!” I snapped. Without waiting for an answer I entered the room by slamming the door.

The result of the action when it ends in meaningless regret. Just as the pleasures of youth flowed unhindered, all of a sudden it stopped. The flow of the river that was so enjoyable to be crossed had to stop with the departure of my father. Everything was so sudden, without a plan, it left our family a little swayed.

Father left behind all earthly mortality, without any message to us. Mother is the person who has lost the most and is devastated by the departure of Father. Since my father died, my mother has changed. Previously, he was very fond of shopping, traveling, and doing other mom-like pleasures, becoming gloomy, rarely going out of the house, mostly staying at home and crying.

Since Father passed away, Mother's health has slowly declined. The longer the mother's health condition is getting weaker. It was as if half of his life had been lost with his father by his side.

Where did my father's business and possessions go. All we know is the house we live in and a piece of rice field that my father's cousin is working on. My two brothers don't really care about inheritance too much, we never discussed it.

All this time, only knew how to ask Dad. His departure slightly disrupted our financial condition, which is used to living with all the comforts that are available. Fortunately, since my father's high school allowed me to work during school holidays, the income earned was used to explore new interesting places.

I don't think it will be too difficult to find a job and earn an income with the experience I already have. Coupled with the dream of wanting to explore the world's contents, school is not the main thing. Working for money to start a life that is challenging and exciting, that's what one wants.

However, Abi's (older brother) compulsion to go to college can't be denied, even though it slightly hinders his desire to realize his dream. Whatever the power, the reasons for my two brothers are very strong. Who else has to take care of Mother – the two older brothers are married, do not live in the same house – plus Mother's health condition is indeed worrisome.

Memories, they're just memories. All the memories with Dad, neatly stored in the memory box.

"Father..."

"Mia misses Daddy..." I said softly above her grave.

Even though his body had been buried for a dozen years, the longing for Dad could never go away. I sat there staring at the tombstone with my father's name on it.

"No more kissing Mia's forehead, as a good night's sleep."

"No one hugs Mia anymore, when Mia is sad and sick."

"I can't watch television at my feet anymore."

“Father… how Mia misses you.”

“Mia hopes that Dad will always be near Mia, hugging Mia. Like before," I said quietly. Dad's hug is a panacea for health, when I'm sick. Comfort when sadness hits.

"Father, now your child is no longer a spoiled and naughty teenage girl. Mia is already a mother. If Daddy was still alive, of course he would be happy to see the change in Mia," I mumbled pouring out my heart in front of my father's grave.

Let people who see will say I'm crazy for talking to the grave. It's up to them, longing to tell Dad, missing complaining to Dad. Let these lips roll hundreds of words to satisfy themselves to pour out all complaints and grievances.

After being satisfied with the story, I realized that my father's grave was covered with a lot of dry leaves and weeds that grew as unwanted decorations. One by one removing weeds and dry leaves, although not really clean, at least Father's grave looks more pleasing to the eye and a little cleaner.

These eyes continued to stare intently at Father's tomb, something was stuck in his heart. I wrung my fingers together, took a deep breath. My eyes swept across Father's grave, lips wanting to say something, but held back. Should it be expressed or simply asked in the heart. Finally, the question slides smoothly without being held back any longer.

“Can Bram be like Dad?”

"Dad..." I took a deep breath.

"If only I could, I want Bram to be just like Dad."

I closed my eyes, enjoying the breeze that played with my hair, while breathing in as much air as possible as a reserve of oxygen in the body. Slowly open your eyes and say a wish.

"I hope the story of the life lived with Bram, is the same as the love story of Father and Mother."

Prayers and hopes were spoken without burden and obstruction, flowing smoothly from my mouth.

“Father, pray for Mia to be like Mother. Pray for Bram to be like Dad.”

I got up and looked at Dad's grave before starting to walk away from our family cemetery. With full confidence stepping and looking to the future, confidence in yourself appears as water drops begin to fall to the earth.