CHAPTER 14: Hollow Desire

Adrian's POV

I slammed my lips directly onto hers the second the heavy office door clicked shut. The kiss was intense and completely rough right from the very first second. Our tongues rolled together in a messy and frantic exchange inside her mouth.

I did not hold back. I did not want to be gentle. I wanted to completely erase the memory of the university classroom. I wanted to erase the angry and disappointed look on Nirvana's face.

Daniella matched my sudden aggression without any hesitation. She was good for that, meeting the fire in me with hers. Her hands moved rapidly all over my chest and my shoulders. She gripped the fabric of my dark shirt and yanked it hard toward herself.

Within seconds, she undid my front buttons so quickly that her sharp fingernails scratched a harsh line down the center of my chest. I ignored the sharp sting on my skin. I needed the physical friction to shut my racing brain off.

I grabbed her by the hips and pulled her body flush against me. Our bodies joined tightly together at the hip while she rocked her pelvis into mine, grinding against hard length.

She ground her body hard against my groin to show me exactly how eager she was. I backed her up across the hardwood floor until she hit the solid edge of my wooden desk. She jumped up immediately and wrapped her long legs securely around my waist. Her hands reached down between us, yanked her thin white panties down her legs, and kicked them away onto the floor.

I pushed the thin straps of her sheer white gown off her shoulders and the fabric fell down to her waist, exposing her bare chest to the cool air of my office. I used some seconds to stare at her body, which drove me crazy long before I met Nirvana. Now not so much.

I reached out and cupped her right breast heavily with my hand, fondling it with my hand. I squeezed the soft flesh tightly while I took the left one directly into my mouth. I sucked hard. I tried desperately to force the physical arousal to take over my mind completely. My dick was just a semi-hard-on in between my legs. Not the huge monster that used to move to her touch.

Daniella moaned loudly, her voice a needy sound that echoed off the quiet walls. She threw her right hand directly into the front of my shorts and gripped my length firmly through my underwear, fisting it in her grasp.

Her fingers squeezed me and I waited for the heavy rush of heat. I waited for the blinding lust that normally followed this exact routine. But nothing happened at all.

Her touch felt entirely wrong against my skin. Her grip was too practiced and too deliberate. The heavy scent of her expensive floral perfume filled my nose, and it actually made my stomach turn. It was not the scent I wanted. It was not the warm, natural scent I smelled in the dark kitchen last night. The taste inside my mouth was just makeup and cheap alcohol. My body completely rejected the interaction. Damn.

I stopped kissing her breast. I suddenly unwrapped my arms from her body and took a step backward. Daniella's legs fell from my waist. She stumbled slightly on the edge of the desk to catch her balance.

I turned my back to her immediately. I walked straight to the large glass window on the far side of my office. My hands rubbed my face and my fingers raked harshly through my hair. My office overlooked the main outdoor courtyard of the clubhouse. I looked down at the scene playing out below me in the dark.

Several of my club brothers were standing around a large metal fire pit. The orange flames illuminated their faces. They were drinking heavily from thick glass bottles of liquor and partying wildly into the night with women in their arms, laughing.

That was my life down there. That was the gritty, violent, and loud world I built. That was the reality I fought and bled for every single day. Women like Daniella were always available in this world. They were always willing to do whatever I asked, whenever I asked for it. It was a simple and completely uncomplicated transaction of physical pleasure.

I stared down at the bikers below and could not understand why I suddenly felt completely uninterested in all of it. A deep and hollow emptiness settled right in the center of my chest. I felt entirely disconnected from the only place I ever truly belonged.

I heard the soft rustle of fabric moving behind me. I had almost forgotten Daniella was still her. I didn't face her.

She seemed to be completely out of the shock of my sudden withdrawal. She set her bare feet down on the hardwood floor and walked closer to me. I heard her footsteps stop right behind my right shoulder.

"You look stressed," she said quietly. "Is anything the problem?"

I kept my eyes focused entirely on the courtyard outside. I slowly shook my head side to side. "No," I answered her. My voice sounded completely dead and flat. "You can leave now."

I heard her step directly in front of me. She sashayed into my line of sight, purposefully swaying her hips side to side to grab my attention. I finally looked away from the glass window and looked at her face.

She grabbed the front of her sheer white gown with both hands and suddenly tore it entirely off her body. The thin fabric ripped loudly in the quiet room. She stood in front of me completely naked. She dropped the ruined white cloth to the floor.

I watched her with a completely blank expression. I can't deny it, I was genuinely surprised by her bold persistence. Most women would have walked out the door the second I told them to leave. But I felt absolutely no physical reaction to her naked body standing under the bright office lights. The sight did absolutely nothing for me. I felt nothing but a dull annoyance. I needed to be alone.

But Daniella did not wait for me to speak again. She dropped slowly down onto her bare knees right in front of me. She looked up at my face and parted her lips intentionally.

"Will you take my mouth or fuck my breast?" she asked in that breathless tone of hers. I almost scoffed. Is she deaf?

The tone sounded completely fake and rehearsed to my ears. Like she was trying to play a specific, submissive role or script she thought I wanted to hear. She thought acting dirty would snap my attention back to her.

"Fuck," I exclaimed loudly. I ran my hand roughly over my face and rubbed my eyes.

The word was a heavy curse directed entirely at myself. What was wrong with me? I stared down at her kneeling on the floor. These were the exact things that always aroused me before tonight. This aggressive and straightforward submission was exactly what I usually looked for to relieve my stress after a long day of dealing with club business.

A willing woman on her knees was supposed to be the ultimate turn on for any man in my position. Now, looking at Daniella, it just irritated me immensely. It felt cheap, forced, and entirely hollow. She was not the woman I wanted on her knees.

But Daniella completely misunderstood my curse. She took my exclamation as a sign of deep arousal. She smiled widely and leaned forward again. She reached her hands out to grip my length through my shorts once more.

My patience vanished instantly. I stepped back quickly before her hands could make contact with my clothing.

"Stop it," I snapped at her. My voice was loud, harsh but I didn't give a damn.

Daniella froze with her hands suspended in the empty air.

"What?" she asked.

The reality of the situation finally dawned on her. The performed sultriness vanished completely from her features. It was replaced by evident shock on her face. She looked deeply confused and embarrassed by my rejection. She lowered her hands slowly to her sides and stared up at me.

"Leave, Danielle," I ordered her. I did not use her full name. I just wanted her out of my space as fast as possible.

I did not wait for her to gather her torn clothes or stand up from the floor. I turned around and walked straight to the heavy office door. I pulled it open, walked out into the dim hallway, and slammed the solid wood shut behind me.

I walked down the narrow hallway with heavy steps. I descended the metal stairs leading down to the main floor of the warehouse. The loud rock music blasted through the large corner speakers, vibrating forcefully against the concrete walls and the metal railing. The heavy smell of cigarette smoke, engine oil, and stale beer hit my face immediately. Maybe I needed this and not some fake tits.

I walked past the worn pool tables and the large groups of loud bikers. I did not acknowledge any of the men who called out my name or raised their glasses to me. I went straight to the long wooden bar located at the back of the room. I pulled out a tall metal stool and sat down heavily right in front of Wayne.

Wayne wiped the sticky counter with a dirty white rag. He took one single look at my face and set the rag down immediately. He knew my moods better than anyone else in the building. He saw the dark look in my eyes. He did not ask any questions about why I was back downstairs so fast, or why I left a naked woman alone in my private office.

He knew better than to push me when I looked like this.

"Vodka," I told him. I kept my voice low so he could hear me over the loud music playing nearby.

Wayne reached under the counter. He grabbed a thick glass bottle of clear vodka and poured a very generous amount into a short, wide glass. He slid the glass across the wet wood directly toward me.

I picked up the glass and swallowed the alcohol in one single, large gulp. The strong liquid burned harshly all the way down my throat.

I set the cup down on counter. I turned my head away from the bar and looked toward the open garage doors.

I stared out into the dark night. I watched the traffic passing by on the distant street. I gripped the thick edge of the wooden bar so tight. The physical burn of the alcohol did absolutely nothing to dull the ache in my chest.

I watched my club members living the exact life I used to love, but I felt absolutely nothing for it anymore. I had spent my entire adult life building this world, and now I wanted no part of it. I didn't want a willing woman on her knees. I wanted the university student who defied me in my own classroom. I wanted the girl who looked at me with total anger instead of rehearsed submission. I wanted the girl who fought back. Nirvana had completely ruined my desire for anyone else, and she did it without even trying.

How was I supposed to protect her from this life when all I wanted was to pull her into it with me?