CHAPTER ELEVEN: NIGHTMARES AND COMFORT

That night, I had the worst nightmare I'd had since coming to Shadow Ridge.

In my dream, I was back at the Harvest Festival.

Damien was on the stage again, telling everyone how disgusting and worthless I was but this time, it was even worse.

"Look at her!" Dream-Damien shouted, pointing at me.

"She thinks she has magic powers now! She thinks she's special!"

The whole crowd laughed at me.

Even the Shadow Ridge pack members were there, pointing and whispering about how weird I was.

"She's a freak!" someone yelled.

"An abomination!" shouted another voice.

Then Kieran stepped forward, and my heart filled with hope.

Surely he would defend me like he did before instead, he looked at me with cold, disgusted eyes.

"I made a mistake bringing her here," Dream-Kieran said in that a, flat voice.

"She's not worth the trouble. Her magic is dark and dangerous. We don't want creatures like her in our pack."

"Please," I begged in the dream. "I didn't mean to be strange."

"Of course" Dream-Kieran said cruelly.

"You're exactly what Damien said you are - a worthless half-breed who doesn't belong anywhere."

"B..but you promised" I pleaded and he just laughed along side everyone.

I woke up screaming.

I sat up in bed, sweating and shaking. My heart was beating so fast I thought it might explode.

Even though I knew it was just a dream, the words felt real.

They felt like something that could actually happen.

What if everyone really did think I was a freak when they found out about my powers?

What if Kieran changed his mind about helping me?

What if I got thrown away again, just like with Damien?

I couldn't stop shaking.

The nightmare felt so real, and all my old fears came rushing back.

I was just fooling myself thinking I could belong here.

I was just setting myself up to get hurt all over again.

I curled up in a ball under my blankets and tried to stop crying, but I couldn't.

The dream had reminded me of how it felt to be completely alone and unwanted.

There was a soft knock on my door.

"Laila?" It was Kieran's voice, gentle and worried.

"Are you alright? I heard you scream."

I wiped my face quickly, but I knew my voice would give away that I'd been crying.

"I'm fine," I called out, trying to sound normal.

"Just a bad dream. Sorry if I woke you up."

"Can I come in?" Kieran asked. I hesitated.

I didn't want him to see me like this - messy and scared and crying like a baby but I also really didn't want to be alone right now.

"Okay," I said quietly.The door opened, and Kieran stepped into my room.

He was wearing dark pajama pants and a gray t-shirt, and his hair was messy from sleep.

Even in the middle of the night, he looked strong and gorgeous.

"You're shaking," he said, noticing how I was curled up on the bed.

"It was just a nightmare," I said, trying to sound braver than I felt.

"I'll be okay." but even as I said it, more tears started falling down my cheeks.

Kieran looked at me for a moment, then walked over and sat on the edge of my bed.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" he asked gently.

I shook my head.

"It was stupid. Dreams aren't real."

"Dreams might not be real, but the feelings they cause are," Kieran said.

"And you're obviously very upset."

I looked at his kind silver eyes and felt my walls crumbling.

Maybe it would help to talk about it.

"I dreamt I was back at the festival," I said quietly.

"Damien was telling everyone how horrible I am, but this time it was worse. Everyone was laughing at me because of my magic powers. They called me a freak and an abomination."

"And then?" Kieran prompted softly.

I took a shaky breath.

"And then you said you made a mistake bringing me here. You said I was dangerous and worthless and that you didn't want creatures like me in your pack."

Kieran's face got very serious.

"Laila, look at me."

I lifted my eyes to meet his.

"That will never happen," he whispered firmly.

"I will never say those things to you, and I will never throw you away like Damien did."

"But what if you change your mind?" I whispered.

"What if you decide I'm too much trouble?"

"I won't."

"How can you be so sure?" I asked.

"Damien promised to love me forever too, and look how that turned out."

Kieran was quiet for a moment. Then he said,

"Can I tell you something?"I nodded.

"When I was young, maybe eight or nine years old, I used to have terrible nightmares about losing my family. I would wake up screaming, convinced that my parents and siblings had died and left me all alone."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"My mother would come into my room, just like this, and she would sit with me until the fear went away. She told me that nightmares were just our brains trying to process our worst fears, but that didn't make the feelings any less real or scary."

"Did the nightmares stop?"

"Eventually, but you know what helped the most?"

"What?"

"Having people who cared about me proved, over and over, that the nightmares weren't true. That I wasn't really alone, and that I was loved no matter what."

Kieran reached out and gently wiped a tear from my cheek with his thumb.

The touch was so gentle and caring that it made me cry harder.

"Laila, I know it's hard to trust after someone hurt you so badly. I know you're scared that everyone will leave you eventually. But some of us won't. Some of us will stay, even when things get difficult."

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Because you're worth staying for," he said simply.

The way he said it made my heart do that fluttery thing again but this time, instead of being scared of the feeling, I let myself enjoy it a little bit.

"The nightmare felt so real," I admitted.

"I was so scared that you would decide I was too weird or too broken to help."

"You're not weird, and you're not broken," Kieran said firmly.

"You're different, yes. Special, absolutely. But those are good things, Laila. The world needs more people who can bring life and healing to others."

"Even if my powers scare people?"

"Even then. Though I don't think they will scare as many people as you think they will."

I wiped my nose with my sleeve.

"I'm sorry for waking you up and being such a mess."

"Don't apologize for having feelings," Kieran said.

"And don't apologize for needing comfort. That's what people who care about you are for."

He started to get up from the bed, but I grabbed his hand without thinking.

"C..could you... could you stay for a little while?" I asked, feeling embarrassed.

"I know it's childish, but I don't want to be alone right now."

Kieran looked surprised, but then his expression softened.

"Of course," he said.

I scooted over in the bed, and Kieran sat back down, leaning against the headboard.

He was careful to stay on top of the covers while I was under them, keeping everything proper and respectful.

"Is this better?" he asked.

"Much better," I said honestly. Having him close made the scary feelings from the nightmare fade away.

"Do you want to talk about anything else, or would you rather try to go back to sleep?" Kieran asked.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"In your nightmares, when you were little, what was the scariest part?" Kieran thought about it.

"The feeling of being completely alone in the world. Like no one would care if I disappeared."

"That's exactly how I felt in my dream," I said quietly.

"Like I could vanish and no one would even notice."

"Well, I would notice," Kieran said.

"If you disappeared, I would tear apart the entire world looking for you." The way he said it, so fierce and protective, made me feel warm all over.

"Really?" I asked."Really," he said.

"You're not alone anymore, Laila. You have a family here now, people who care about what happens to you."

"Even if I'm just a charity case?"

"You're not a charity case," Kieran said, his voice getting a little sharp.

"You're a member of this pack, and you're..."

He stopped talking suddenly, like he was about to say something he wasn't ready to say.

"I'm what?" I asked.

Kieran looked down at me with an expression I couldn't quite read.

"You're important to me," he said finally.

"More important than I probably should admit.".My heart started beating faster.

"What does that mean?"

"It means," Kieran said softly, "that your safety and happiness matter to me in a way that has nothing to do with duty or responsibility."

I didn't know what to say to that.

The way he was looking at me made me feel fluttery and confused and hopeful all at the same time.

Having Kieran here made me feel safe enough to sleep again.

"Will you stay until I fall asleep?" I asked.

"I'll stay as long as you need me to," he promised.

"Kieran," I whispered, my eyelids heavy.

"Yes?"

"Thank you. For everything. For saving me, for bringing me here, for making me feel like maybe I'm worth something after all."

"You're worth everything Laila," were the last words I heard before drifting into a dream about silver eyes, gentle hands and a voice that called me important.