CHAPTER THREE: THE MORNING AFTER

LAILA

I woke up with my face stuck to my pillow.

During the night, the cut on my cheek had bled a little.

When I sat up, it hurt really bad. I looked in the mirror above my dresser and the purple bruise was darker now.

It covered half of my face. My lip was swollen too but I  didn't remember Damien hitting my lip or maybe he did when I wasn't paying attention.

"Laila!" Damien's voice came from downstairs. He sounded angry already, and it wasn't even breakfast time yet.

"Get down here now!" My stomach felt sick. I was scared of what he wanted but I had to go.

If I didn't come when he called, he would get even madder.

I put on a long-sleeved shirt to hide the finger marks on my arms. Then I tried to brush my hair over my face to hide the bruise although it didn't work very well.

I walked downstairs slowly. Each step made me more scared.

Damien was sitting at the kitchen table. He had a cup of coffee and was reading something on his phone. When he saw me, his face got mean.

"You look terrible," he spat. "How am I supposed to take you anywhere looking like that?"

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Sorry doesn't fix your ugly face." Damien stood up and walked over to me. He grabbed my chin hard and turned my head to look at the bruise.

"This is your fault, you know. If you weren't so stupid, I wouldn't have to teach you lessons." His fingers pressed into the bruise. I tried not to cry out, but a small sob escaped.

"Does it hurt?" Damien asked. He sounded happy about it.

"A little," I admitted.

"Good. Maybe now you'll remember to behave better." He let go of my face and pushed me backward.

I stumbled and hit the counter with my hip.

"Make me breakfast and don't burn it this time, or you'll get worse than a bruised face."

I nodded quickly and went to the stove. My hands were shaking as I got out eggs and bacon.

I was always nervous when I cooked for Damien because he got angry about everything.

"The pack meeting is today," Damien said, sitting back down. "Hou're not coming."

I looked at him in surprise. "But all the mates come to pack meetings."

"All the mates who can actually shift into wolves," Damien growled. "You're just going to embarrass me again. Like you did yesterday."

My heart felt heavy. I loved pack meetings. They were the only time I got to see other people and feel like I belonged somewhere.

"Please," I said softly. "I promise I won't embarrass you."

Damien laughed. "You embarrass me just by breathing, so you're staying home. Maybe if you're alone all day, you'll figure out how to finally shift into your wolf form."

I turned back to the eggs so he wouldn't see the tears in my eyes. I had tried so hard to shift.

Every night, I went into the woods and concentrated until my head hurt but nothing ever happened.

"And another thing," Damien said. "If anyone asks about your face, you tell them you fell down the stairs. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"What was that? I can't hear you."

"Yes, I understand," I said louder.

"Good. And Laila?" Damien's said calmly. "If you ever tell anyone what really happened, especially about Alpha Blackthorne showing up, I will make sure you regret it for the rest of your very short life."

I felt cold all over. I knew Damien meant it. He had hurt me before, but the way he said it made me think he might do something much worse.

"I won't tell anyone," I promised.

"You better not." Damien came up behind me while I was cooking. He put his hands on my shoulders and pressed down hard.

"You belong to me, Laila. No one else will ever want a broken wolf like you. I'm the only one who puts up with your uselessness."

I wanted to say that I deserved to be treated nice especially by my mate, I was supposed to be special to my mate but I couldn't tell Damien that.

"I know," I said instead.

"Do you? because last night, you seemed pretty interested in that Alpha." Damien's hands moved to my neck. Not squeezing, but I could feel how strong his hands were.

"Were you thinking about running away with him?"

"No!" I said quickly. "I would never—"

"Because if you ever try to leave me," Damien whispered in my ear, "I will find you and I will make you sorry you were ever born."

My hands trembled. The eggs in the pan began to burn because I couldn't focus on cooking anymore.

"Look what you did!" Damien yelled and spun me around. "You ruined breakfast!"

"I can make more—"

"No!" Damien pushed me hard. I fell backward and hit the floor. My head hit the cabinet with a loud thud.

"You can't do anything right!" He yelled as I  lay on the floor, scared to move.

My head was pounding where it hit the cabinet. Damien stood over me, and for a second, I thought he might kick me.

Instead, he grabbed his coffee cup and threw the hot coffee at me. It splashed on my arms and chest. I screamed.

"Clean up this mess," Damien said. "And don't you dare leave this house today. If I find out you went anywhere, you'll regret it."

Then he walked out of the kitchen. I heard the front door slam a few minutes later.

I lay on the floor for a long time, crying. My arms hurt from the hot coffee. My head hurt from hitting the cabinet. My heart hurt from everything else.

Finally, I got up and cleaned the kitchen. I threw away the burned eggs and wiped up the coffee.

I changed into a different shirt because the coffee had stained the one I was wearing then I sat at the kitchen table and cried some more.

I thought about what Alpha Kieran had said last night. "A true mate would never hurt you, little wolf." but he was wrong. Maybe this was what mates did. Maybe I really was broken, and this was the only kind of love I deserved.

I touched the bruise on my face gently. It was getting more purple and swollen.

"You're so stupid, Laila," I said to myself again. "This is all your fault." but deep inside, a tiny voice said something different.

It said that the Alpha with the silver eyes had been right. It said that maybe I didn't deserve to be hurt. I tried to make that voice go away. It was dangerous to think like that.

If I started believing I deserved better, I might do something that would make Damien even angrier but the voice wouldn't go away completely.

It stayed there, tiny but strong, like a small light in a very dark room and even though I was scared, part of me was glad it was there.

I spent the rest of the morning alone in the house, thinking about silver eyes and wondering what it would be like to have someone call me "little wolf" in a kind voice every day.

Then I remembered Damien's threat and I pushed those thoughts away. I had to be more careful. I had to be a better mate. If I was a better mate, Damien would treat me better for sure. 

What if he still wouldn't? The tiny voice in my head was back.

"A true mate would never hurt you, little wolf" the voice echoed Alpha Kieran's words.

I wonder how Alpha Kieran would treat his own mate. I'm sure he'd never hit her or yell at her or..

I have to stop thinking about Alpha Kieran. I have a mate and he probably has one too.

I shouldn't be dreaming about things that aren't mine, things I can't have.

What if you could? The tiny voice whispered.