6

They nodded feebly, getting to work.

Wasting no time, the rest of us departed from the scene…

Ready to make our way back to base.

I wasn’t in the right head state…

Not in the right fucking state of mind.

But I had to pull myself together…

Not just for my own sake, but for the sake of everybody else, too.

It was time for me to finally have words with my father.

***

5

luca

“What the fuck, Dad?” I barked, as I stormed into his office.

Dad was sitting there with Jamal, drinking whisky straight from the bottle. I knocked the bottle out from his hands, and poured it all over the floor, disgusted at the sight of him.

“What the fuck, Luca?!” Dad roared angrily. “What are you doing?”

“Wake the fuck up, Dad,” I snarled. “Stop drinking. It’s all I ever see you fucking do.”

Dad rattled his fists angrily, banging them down on the table. Jamal screwed his face, folding his arms.

“What’s up your ass?” Jamal sneered. “Did you collect the debts from Tariq?”

“No,” I retorted. “He wasn’t at the goddamn location.”

“You could’ve rummaged through his flat, taken goods worth the value. Carried on looking for him. Why the fuck are you back here? Why aren’t you dealing with the situation?!” Jamal scolded.

“Massimo’s dead, I thought I’d come back to inform you,” I shot back.

“What?” Dad got up on his feet, going stone white in shock. “No, no… Not Massimo. Not Massimo…”

“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!” Jamal roared. “You let Massimo die?! He’s our flesh and blood, one of our main men, he takes care of so many operations…” Jamal trailed off his sentence, punching the wall behind him so hard that his fist snapped and blood started to gush out of his hand.

I’d seen enough blood for one fucking day.

“He’s out of control,” I seethed. “He killed a Muslim woman and her little kids. I had to let Fizz take care of him.”

“Massimo wouldn’t do that…” Dad stumbled, getting dizzy from the alcohol he’d drank earlier. “Not my Massimo. He was such a good man… H – he always respected my r – rules…”

“I guess you didn’t know Massimo as well as you fucking thought, Dad,” I seethed. “Do you even know any of us anymore? You just sit in your office all day, drinking the day away like a fucking tosser. Get your fucking shit together.”

“You are to speak to me with respect, boy,” Dad hissed. “I’m the man who raised you, brought you into this family, put food on your table.”

“Being brought into this family was the last thing I fucking needed,” I snapped harshly. “Look at what you’ve made me, Dad. Look at what you’ve fucking done to me. What this lifestyle has done to me. Look at you. You haven’t been right ever since Mum died.”

“This is the Cosa Nostra, and if you don’t like the rules, you know there’s a graveyard out there we can toss you inside,” Jamal snarled, taking steps closer to me, closing the gap between us. “When there’s a job that needs doing, you fucking do it. You made a big mistake killing Massimo today, you motherfu-”

Jamal spat on my face, grabbed hold of my neck, and began squeezing it. I began struggling for air as the wind began knocking out of my lungs. I doubled over, gaining the strength to retaliate, shoving Jamal off of me with such a force that he toppled backwards. He got up on his feet, wobbling about his spot, his facial expression strung with venom.

“Boys, please stop!” Dad pleaded, his eyes welling with tears.

“You motherfucker,” I spat at Jamal, my voice dropping to barely below a whisper. “You’ve got some audacity pulling a stunt like that with me. I’m your fucking boss.”

“The only person I work for and answer to is your fucking father,” Jamal seethed. “He’s the only man I have respect for. Things have been fucked up in business ever since you took over. Bodies dropping, left right and center. Losing our own family in the crossfire. Innocent people dying. People not paying up their debts.” He broke off his sentence, rattling. “We look like fucking pussies. You shame the Cosa Nostra name. Ever since you took over, we’ve stopped teaching motherfuckers who was boss. Everything’s gone to shit because of you. BECAUSE OF YOU!”