LOGINI was a monster, and she was too innocent for my world. But that didn't stop me. One taste of her kept me going back for more... Even if it killed us.
View More"Dua bulan menikah dan belum ada tanda-tanda? Kamu ini perawat, Renata. Harusnya kamu lebih tahu cara mengurus kesuburan, bukan cuma tahu cara mengurus orang sakit."
Suara bernada rendah namun tajam itu berasal dari Helena. Wanita paruh baya dengan pakaian elegan itu duduk tenang di kursi makan sambil menyesap teh kamomilnya seolah sedang membicarakan cuaca.
Namun, bagi Renata, ketenangan mertuanya justru jauh lebih mengintimidasi daripada bentakan.
Renata yang kini berusia 28 tahun hanya bisa meremas jemarinya yang masih basah di depan wastafel dapur. Pernikahan ini adalah transaksi.
Demi melunasi utang biaya operasi jantung ayahnya yang mencapai ratusan juta di Rumah Sakit Theodore milik keluarga suaminya, Renata terpaksa setuju masuk ke lingkaran keluarga terpandang ini.
Sebagai perawat di rumah sakit yang sama, gaji bulanan Renata sebenarnya cukup untuk biaya hidup sehari-hari.
Namun, untuk cicilan utang medis sebesar itu, ditambah biaya obat-obatan pasca-operasi yang tidak di-cover asuransi, penghasilannya jelas tidak akan pernah cukup.
Menikah dengan Adrian adalah satu-satunya jalan pintas agar ayahnya tetap mendapatkan perawatan intensif.
Setelah mendengar ucapan dingin mertuanya itu, Renata kemudian menarik napas perlahan. "Kami masih berusaha, Ma. Adrian juga sangat sibuk di rumah sakit belakangan ini."
"Jangan gunakan kesibukan Adrian sebagai alasan. Rumah sakit ini mengeluarkan dana besar untuk menyelamatkan jantung ayahmu yang hampir mati itu bukan untuk mendapatkan menantu yang tidak bisa memberikan apa-apa,” jawab Helena yang tak mau tahu dengan alasan Renata.
Helena kemudian bangkit dan melangkah mendekati Renata.
"Kamu pikir dengan berpakaian seragam perawat setiap hari dan membantu mencuci piring di sini sudah cukup? Tugas utamamu di rumah ini adalah memberikan cucu untuk keluarga Theodore. Kamu utang budi pada kami, Renata. Dan rahimmu itu adalah jaminannya."
Kalimat itu telak menghantam harga diri Renata. Namun, yang bisa ia lakukan hanyalah mengepalkan tangan di balik tubuhnya. Ada desakan kuat di dadanya untuk berteriak, untuk mengatakan yang sebenarnya bahwa Adrian bahkan tidak pernah sudi menyentuhnya.
Sejak malam pertama, suaminya selalu tidur di kamar terpisah dan kerap pulang larut dengan aroma parfum wanita lain. Namun, kontrak perjanjian yang mengikatnya membuat Renata terpaksa menelan kembali kata-katanya.
"Saya tahu kewajiban saya, Ma, dan saya akan berusaha," jawab Renata sembari berusaha menatap mata Helena dengan sisa-sisa martabat yang ia miliki, meski matanya mulai berkaca-kaca.
"Bagus kalau kamu sadar diri,” ucap Helena lagi.
"Bukan seperti itu cara berbicara dengan anggota keluarga, Bibi."
Sebuah suara bariton yang tenang membuat Renata dan Helena menoleh bersamaan. Di ambang pintu dapur, berdiri Daniel—sepupu Adrian.
Pria tinggi tegap itu masih mengenakan kemeja rapi dengan jas dokter yang tersampir di lengannya. Ia baru saja menyelesaikan shift malamnya.
Helena mendengus pelan dengan raut wajahnya berubah sinis. "Jangan ikut campur, Daniel. Urus saja urusanmu sendiri. Lagipula, bagaimana kabar pernikahanmu? Kudengar masih sedingin biasanya."
Mendengar sindiran itu, tampaknya Daniel tidak terpancing. Wajahnya tetap datar, tipikal dokter spesialis bedah yang terkenal dingin dan minim ekspresi, baik di rumah sakit maupun di rumah besar ini.
Ia hanya mengalihkan pandangannya pada Renata sambil melirik jam tangan Rolex di pergelangan tangannya.
"Renata, bukankah besok kamu masuk shift pagi jam enam? Ini sudah jam sebelas malam. Sebaiknya kamu segera istirahat. Kurang tidur bisa menurunkan performamu di ruang rawat," ucap Daniel datar.
Renata agak tertegun. Selama dua bulan tinggal di sini, Daniel adalah orang yang paling jarang berinteraksi dengannya. Mereka hanya sesekali berpapasan di koridor rumah sakit tanpa bertegur sapa.
Mendengar pria itu membelanya atau setidaknya memberi alasan untuk menyudahi obrolan ini, membuat Renata sedikit lega.
"Daniel, aku belum selesai bicara dengannya," potong Helena dengan nada memperingatkan.
Daniel mengedikkan bahu sekilas. "Aku hanya mengingatkan aturan rumah sakit, Bibi. Pekerjaan Renata menyangkut nyawa pasien. Aku permisi ke kamar dulu."
Pria itu berbalik dan melangkah pergi tanpa menunggu jawaban dari Helena yang bahkan tampak kesal mendengar ucapan keponakan iparnya itu.
Setelah punggung Daniel menghilang, Helena kembali memfokuskan tatapannya pada Renata. Langkahnya maju satu tapak dan memangkas jarak di antara mereka hingga Renata bisa mencium aroma parfum mahal mertuanya yang mendominasi udara.
"Dengar baik-baik, Renata," bisik Helena dengan suara yang begitu mengerikan. "Gaji perawatmu itu tidak akan pernah bisa menebus harga obat-obatan kronis ayahmu jika keluarga ini lepas tangan. Jika dalam bulan ini kamu belum juga hamil..."
Helena menjeda kalimatnya, tengah memberikan penekanan yang sarat ancaman psikologis.
"Aku pribadi yang akan meminta pihak administrasi mencoret nama ayahmu dari daftar pasien prioritas. Kita lihat seberapa lama ayahmu bisa bertahan tanpa pasokan obat dari rumah sakit ini."
ZARAMe and Fizz arrived at the hospital, making our way to the ward where Luca was being held. I could feel my heart hammer against my chest as I made my way to the glass window, seeing him lying there wearing an oxygen mask, with machines beeping next to him.Knowing that this was all my fault.I’d pushed him too far…Made him relive his nightmares.If it wasn’t for me…This wouldn’t be fucking happening.I made my way into the room, tears streaming down my cheeks as I stared at him. The bandaged up wounds.He’d lost so much blood…So much fucking blood.I crouched down next to his bed, gently laying my head against his body.Sobbing against him.I took his hand in mine, kissing his fingers, kissing his palms.Knowing that he couldn’t feel it…But just needing to make known how much I loved him.“I’m so sorry, Luca…” I whispered. “I’m so sorry.”Tears continued to roll down my cheeks uncontrollably, and I couldn’t stop them.“Fizz told me everything. I know you didn’t kill my sister
“You’re right, Zara…” I whispered, through tear-filled eyes. “I am a monster. I am a fucking monster. I killed my father. Fuck. I deserve to die. I deserve to die…”Zara continued to scream and sob, rocking her head backwards and forwards manically.I couldn’t bear the pain anymore.I couldn’t bear the heartache anymore.The hurt.The anguish.Knowing that there would be no point in breathing if I didn’t have Zara by my side.The only person I had left who made me feel like my life had a purpose…Who made me feel like I had a reason to keep pushing forward.Who made me feel like I had something to look forward to…My future looked empty without her.Hollow.Like I was trapped in limbo.I didn’t want to live my life like this.I didn’t want to live my life suffering…Constantly hating myself.Despising myself for my fucked-up mistakes.So I did something.I did something I never thought I would do.Shakily, I got to my feet, my whole body convulsing.Trembling into a frenzy.“Shoot me
Hounding memories of my father dying in my arms re-surfaced.Making their way back to me.Replaying themselves, over and over to me…Like a form of motherfucking torture.I fell to the floor in anguish, sobbing.Rocking myself backwards and forwards manically.Losing all the sanity I had left.Knowing that I’d lost my parents…And now I’d lost the love-of-my-life too.Knowing that she would never forgive me for this.“I’m sorry, Zara. I’m so fucking sorry,” I wept.“I hate you,” she sobbed. “I fucking hate you. You bastard, I let you in. I told you about all of the bad shit that happened to me. Marcello killed my father in cold blood, but you… You made me believe that somebody else killed your father… You made me believe that I could relate to you.” She screamed bloody murder. “When you were the fucking villain all along.”“Please, Zara, stop… Fuck. Stop…”I convulsed, feeling like I was going insane.Feeling like I would be better off dead.Memories of my father stabbing me straight
Maybe I was stupid…Delusional…A fucking fool…To believe that happily ever after’s existed for bastards like me.For criminals like me.I could feel Evelina’s words burn into the back of my mind, as I remembered her walking in on me fucking a broad the night I shot down Tariq Iqbal.“You bastard,” she whispered coldly, slapping me hard across the face. “You deserve everything that’s coming to you. You killed your father. Don’t you ever fucking forget that. A man like your father dead, and a monster like you alive… It isn’t right. It isn’t fucking right.”I screwed my face, burning. Feeling utterly and completely at loss.“I’ve been dancing with the devil for too long, and in the end, I got burned,” Evelina mourned. “You had your chance with me, Luca. You’re going to die alone. Die miserable. Die with nobody loving you. You push everyone away. Ruin every good thing that happens to you. I’m going to find a man who treats me right, loves me for who I am. Doesn’t expect me to conform to
This couldn’t be fucking happening.“I think it’s time to claim you early,” he whispered, cocking his head to the side, as he groaned, staring at me with a predatory regard.“No!” I cried out. “No… Please…”He lowered himself onto my body, causing me to let out a terrified scream, screaming bloody
He let out a low growl, and I could feel myself convulse in my seat, trembling and sweating profusely, tears sliding down my cheeks.Feeling the light at the end of the tunnel extinguish.Seeing a pit of darkness for my future…As Marcello crushed all of the hope that I had left.“H – How did you f
I came face-to-face with a cop…A man wearing police uniform.Maybe this could be my lucky escape after all. It felt like I was going to explode. A cop would definitely be able to help me…A cop would definitely be able to get me safe.Maybe even send me back to the United Kingdom, and get me out o
“Good girl,” Aurora smirked victoriously. “Clean every last drop. I’ve left some clothes in your wardrobe. Let me know when you’re ready to go.”I swallowed down a lump in my throat, before giving her a feeble nod.She made her way out of the room, slamming the door behind her.3ZARA“Much better,






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