Have you ever been painfully aware of someone's presence? You could feel their gaze on your skin. You were attuned to their every move. You could feel the heat radiating off their skin. Your nose filled with the smell wafting off their skin. Your skin begins to get hot from the inside. Every single thing they do seems to have an effect on you. I was seated beside Luka though not by choice. Dolly on the insistence of Maya had gotten up so that Tammy could sit beside Maya and had taken the other empty space beside a guy whom I didn't know. The only other empty space was between Luka and this guy. If the guy would just move a little, I could have had space to sit beside Dolly and not sandwich myself between the two guys but I couldn't muster the courage to tell him to move. When we arrived, JJ had gotten up to bring me a drink and pressed a paper cup whose content looked like orange juice into my hands. I didn't drink it. At this moment I was convincing myself not to tur
LUKAI needed a drink before I did something stupid like taste her lips or go back to where the party was and punch the lights out of Dylan. I don't even know why I was pressed that he was hitting on her. All day I have tried to stop myself from messaging her. From letting my thoughts wonder but then she had looked at me kn that room like she wanted me to act on those thoughts and I didn't know what to do.I needed to fuck someone and I needed to do it soon. I had come tonight to let out a little steam not to get even more wound up. She was pushing my buttons, way more than anyone I know and I was tempted to let go. I grabbed two bottles of beer on my way out looking for somewhere secluded to sit and wait for Zoey and Dylan. I had only brought Zoe as a distraction. I didn't want any girl hitting on me tonight and she had followed me for the free drinks and an opportunity to hang out and make her boyfriend jealous. I finished the first bottle and rolled my trousers up to dip my fe
I struggled to open my eyes. I knew I needed to be awake but I wasn't ready to be up yet. I was kind of stuck in a limbo between sleep and full consciousness.The bed was soft and comforting and it smelled so good. I dug myself into the sheets running my hands through it. I couldn't deny the urge to get up, my full bladder was another indication.I opened my eyes slowly, my eyes adjusting to the bright room. A face appeared in the line of my sight but I closed down my eyes almost immediately. I was still dreaming and it wasn't time to wake up yet. My head was pounding and getting more sleep would actually be good for me so I closed my eyes and only opened them again for confirmation that I wasn't alone. I woke up to the most beautiful boy peering down at me. I know the correct adjectives for boys, it was just that beautiful was a better fit for me right now. He had cinnamon brown eyes that were familiar. They popped wide in shock and curiosity. He could easily fit as a child mod
CHAPTER 18: Strange feelings. *****When I got back to the room he wasn't there but there were some items laid out on the bed. My bra, my phone; fully charged, a new toothbrush, a new towel, a pack of Tampons and a new pantiesI blushed at the pink lacy panties that lay on the bed and I was extremely grateful that he wasn't in the room.Where did he get the panties from? Did he just have a stash of hot pants he gave out to girls that spent the night and needed to freshen up? That gave me a weird heavy feeling in my chest and at the same time made me feel disgusted. He had bought me expensive Tampons too. It made sense that he did because it was just three days ago I fainted in his car and if he counted well I should still be on my period. I didn't even know that it was possible to be so mortified and grateful at the same time. I should be used to him evoking these kinds of emotions in me by now. Still, I can't reconcile the fact that he could be nice to me and cold. He was always
If looks could kill the intruder would be dead from the dirty look Luka gave her. It was her hair that first caught my hand. Waist length, well straightened midnight black hair. Her hair colour was so different from Luka and his brother. She was smiling at me. I don't know why but she was. She must have noticed the tension in the room because.."Lulu you didn't tell me you had a visitor." She began walking towards me. Did she just call him Lulu? Luka the bad boy was Lulu at home. It sounded so cute and I smiled, choking back a laughter. He shot me a quick death stare and warned, "don't you ever call me Lulu." I nodded in amusement. He looked embarrassed but it just made him cute. "You know this isn't your room right? You could just learn to knock." He mumbled out at her and went back to his workstation. "You have a girl in your room, that slept overnight, I had to rush up here before you guys started making babies," she sent me googly eyes that made me blush."We spent the nig
Hazy memories are like bad teeth. You can't ignore it because you know it's there, it's just your brain refusing to let it surface. But when you remember it feels like someone ripped out the teeth and you can finally feel everything. Last night on the couch with Annie Marie, watching Lion King for the millionth time, I finally remembered. Every single detail of Friday night. From the part where I was grinding on Luka's friend to the part where I wrapped my legs around his waist and was calling him daddy. I should have put on a hoodie today. Instead I had on jeans, a crop top and a baggy shirt. The problem wasn't the outfit, I actually got comments from my sister that I looked good, the problem was that I couldn't hide in this. How was I supposed to see Luka in school today knowing that I called him daddy, and was in his bed just a few nights ago?If I had on a hoodie it would be easy to disappear and not be noticeable. Class was a whirlwind that flew by so fast till it was break t
First time I heard someone refer to the other as kitten or daddy was in a joke at my old school. Then everyone had raved about the fifty shades series and I had watched all episodes of it. I didn't understand it then, I still don't now. I think only girls that have actual Daddy issues look up to other men, their age or older to play that role sexually. The fact that my own father left us when I was just four years old does not mean I have Daddy issues. I turned out fine anyway without any issues whatsoever. So why did I think it was okay to call Luka Daddy? It must have been that stupid deal we made in the Alley about me becoming his pet that was confusing me. I'll rather die now than admit that the alcohol induced amnesia had cleared and I remembered everything that happened that night. "No I don't." I looked faraway at the wall above his head. Luka cocked his head to the side, staring at me, his eyes felt like he could see through me and my bullshit lie. "Should I remind yo
"I don't want to go with you. Why can't we just work on it during lunch tomorrow or something." I screamed at Luka after Jamie left. He was taken aback by my outburst and whatever trace of smiling, happy Luka I knew was gone. "Firstly, the project presentation is two days from now, you might be used to failure but I'm not. We need to ace it. Also, what part of I own you don't you understand?" I knew that I wasn't the brightest student in school but he did not have to go that low. I stood for a second letting his words sink in. Bloody bastard. Castrated orangutanAsshat. AsswipesI tried to conjure something in my mind with the word ugly but he wasn't ugly so nothing could stick.I didn't have the balls to say it out loud but I cursed him as much as I could in my mind without letting the tears drop. I was going to fail his first assignment.I would rather cry alone than ever cry in his presence. He walked ahead of me to his car and I got in. I sat down mute in the front seat