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16.How did you even get in?
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๋ฐ์ดํธ:
2024-04-30 21:51:33
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Better In Every Wayย ย ย 17. Neutral Lip
The last few weeks had me embarking on a slow and tedious up and up. Before that day when Emma essentially broke into my apartment, I hadnโt realised just how much energy I spent trying to emotionally mute myself so I could put up a strong front for everyone else. Including my friends.Emma has known me my entire life. I donโt know why I felt the need for the performance with her. But she let me know that it is something Iโve done for most of the time that she has known me. Emotionally shut down and refuse to acknowledge that I even had them. It is probably a side-effect from growing up in a family like mine. Having everyone around you looking at you, studying you for weaknesses they could exploit or secrets they could sell to the highest bidder if they couldnโt extort you themselves. Naturally that didnโt breed an envrionment that could produce a person that was capable of asking for help.Emotions were a weakness. Just another thing that unsavory characters could use against you. M
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-03Better In Every Wayย ย ย 18. Wonderful
It seems I may have underestimated what is going on between Rachel and Dominic as just a crush on her part. It appears as though the feeling is reciprocated.I have been staring at them for the last ten minutes as they were engrossed in their own conversation that Alec and I were not a part of. Seemingly too concerned with each other to remember that we were even there.โI thought this was supposed to be a meeting.โ I say to Alec next to me.โIt is.โ He says, much too absorbed in the endless options on the dessert menuโ even though we hadnโt even gotten our entrรฉes yetโ to even notice the two lovebirds at our table.โThen why do I feel like we are third wheeling their date?โ I ask just as Rachel giggled at something Dominic said. Full on dainty schoolgirl giggle. A sound I havenโt heard her make since she was actually a schoolgirl.Alec finally looks up from his food quest to look at them and then me. โWe donโt have to be third wheels, this could be like a double date.โ He smiles.โYo
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-05Better In Every Wayย ย ย 19. Caldwells Conquer
Sunday came way too soon. I found myself sitting in the pews of the very same church I got cheated on in. Sitting in the row behind my parents. Close enough that people would assume the image of a perfect family that my mother wanted to portray, without having to sit next to her and subject myself to her direct scrutiny. Sunday mass has been a requirement that I did not miss fulfilling. Mass once a month and on major holidays; a requirement borne out of my duty to my brother, and no one else. If it were up to me I wouldnโt be here; not in this specific church, at least. I would have loved to completely sever my ties to my familyโs public image. But when I tried, my mother absolutely hounded George, demanding he make attempt to drag me to this and that social event by my hair, kicking and screaming, if he had to. Heโd always defended me against her, rebuffing her demands, but I could tell it really wore him out; and that made me feel bad. He shouldnโt have to suffer for my social
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-06Better In Every Wayย ย ย 20. Good Old Days
I did get a text from my mother soon after I left the church, but I didnโt open it. What good would that do anyway? I already know what it says. She probably just sent a long winded text about how I embarrassed her and our family. And she, more than likely, is ranting about how my non-wedding put our family in this position in the first place and a whole other manner of unhelpful things that I just donโt want to see. Opening up her text would just make an already emotionally exhausting day even shittier. And this week was going so well. At the risk of jinxing it, I will admit that I had been feeling different lately. I wasnโt just distracting myself. Emma had been basically forcing me to โdeal with my shitโ, as sheโd put it, for the last month. I canโt say that it was comfortable, it was hard as hell, but I need it. It feels like tearing down a building block sculpture you spent so much time on because some of the pieces came out or donโt fit right anymore. So now itโs time to
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-12Better In Every Wayย ย ย 21.Burning Bridge
Alec She likes to say that I am a bother, but I donโt think she minds my continued presence as much as she says she says she does. She thinks I donโt notice all of the shy smiles she tries so hard to stifle behind that polite porcelain demeanour she presents to everyone else. I suppose I should be honoured, she only seems to let her mask slip slightly when she is with her friends, perhaps a little more in private settings but I wouldnโt know. I would like to, though. But I canโt. Iโm supposed to be honouring her request for professionalism, not barging into her office every few days for impromptu conversation. Truthfully I donโt know why Iโm doing this. A part of me feels obligated to check on both sides of this burnt bridge. Cam for obvious reasons, but I feel compelled to check on Dariana as the only one in my family who hasnโt completely written her offโ aside from Rory. But Rory and Cam arenโt on speaking terms, and sheโs the only person other than me who knows about
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-16Better In Every Wayย ย ย 22. Buck The Fuck Up
Alec The rest of my week had been busy. I hadnโt gotten a moment to rest and collect my thoughts since I wrapped up lunch with Eliza. The end of the quarter is coming up soon for my company and a lot of the other companies I sit on boards for. So not only was I working through all the reports for my main enterprise, of which I am the CEO, but I was also reviving those compiled reports for other companies whoโs board meetings I have scheduled throughout this upcoming month. I have been balls deep in paperwork and the seemingly endless meetings with my accounting department have me on a very short fuse. If I see another expense report Iโm going to throw it at someone. Looking at it objectively, I am not in the right headspace to be around anyone. Least of all someone who is adding to my stress, but Cam has been screening my calls and only giving me brief one-word responses to my texts. I canโt imagine why. I try to take a few deep breaths as I pull up to Lachlanโs home to
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-05-31Better In Every Wayย ย ย 23. Donโt Tell The Others
Dariana โI told you!โ I yelled, getting all up in Tomโs face as he looks back in the rule book to make sure that he was reading it correctly. โCome on, banker you read it yourself now. Put that property up for auction.โ โThis canโt be right.โ Tom mumbles to himself while reading and re-reading the same line over and over again. โIs this why you wanted to be the banker? To protect your wifeโs interests?โ George says, looking back and forth between Emma and Tom with a look of mock disapproval on his face. โTsk tsk, Tom. Iโm not sure what the game says about that but in the real world we call that a conspiracy, and itโs illegal.โ โI never should have let you guys talk me into playing Monopoly with you, you were basically raised to be Monopoly experts. I think youโve broken my husband.โ She says as she shuffles toward Tom so she could rub his back. โYou poor baby.โ That just caused George and I to lose it, and we break into a fit of laughs. โThis fake money changed you, Dar.โ
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-06-05Better In Every Wayย ย ย 24. Rewind
*That Past Wednesday. Darianaโs Office* โI will give you ten thousand dollars right now if we go over there and heโs not in her office.โ Alec says, and I canโt help but chuckle at the absurdity of his certainty. โIโm being serious!โ He looks at me like he canโt believe Iโm not taking it seriously, whilst laughing himself. โAnd yesterday, he had the nerve to chastise me for how much time I spend in here. I barely get to see you twice in any given week and he basically works from Rachelโs office every time he can.โ He throws his hands up at the hypocrisy, and it just makes me laugh harder. I shouldnโt be encouraging him. But every attempt Iโve made to keep things strictly professional has been completely ignored. I canโt say that I mind, though. It has been nice to have someone to keep me from pushing myself too far into my work and reminding me to be human every once in a while. I know itโs not โhealthyโ to use work as a coping mechanism to avoid working toward a sense of
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2024-06-06
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Better In Every Wayย ย ย 61. Letter
DarianaThe Monday drama that I have come to expect from the soap opera that is my life did not, unfortunately, end with the scene at the office. After Alec left my office, the rest of the work day was very quiet. Quiet enough to lull me into a false sense of security. As soon as I got home I was greeted by the familiar but still shocking sight of Barry sitting at my front door with his bags.โRun away again?โ I say as I approach him. He looks up at me, seemingly offended by my choice to pathologise his repeated presence at my door. โIโm changing custody.โ He says. โDadโs busy, so I have to spend then next few days at momโs.โ He hands me an envelope. โThatโs you by the way.โ He says.โYes, I think I got that.โ I roll my eyes and yank the envelope from his hands. โYouโre still refusing to just go home?โ I ask, holding my door open for him to come in. โIf I can avoid going back there for the rest of my life, I think I will.โ He says. โOr at least until Cam grows a pair and moves ou
Better In Every Wayย ย ย 60. Long Day
Alec I spent the rest of the afternoon anxiously waiting for five oโclock to arrive. In my relatively longe career I have dealt with many kinds of people. When you spend a portion of your time and fortune investing in many different types of projects, youโre bound to encounter an array of characters.Iโve met my share of โhardโ business people, or at least those who tried their best to present themselves as intimidating; and some who genuinely were. But never have I ever walked into a negotiation with someone who would quite literally have no problem shooting me the moment I step outside the line I probably wouldnโt even know is there. I am so deep in my internal freak out that I donโt even pay attention when someone had opened my door and walked straight into my office without announcing themselves. Thinking that it is likely just Henry dropping off some files, I choose to pay the person no mind.I realise soon enough, though, that it is not Henry when the person in question walk
Better In Every Wayย ย ย 59. Favour
AlecโIโm happy to see that at least one of you has their heads screwed on right.โ Moreno says as he picks up the phone. โIโll send my men to fetch you at five pm so we can discuss details.โโHow sure are you that Iโm not just calling to tell you to fuck off?โ I ask.I hear him laugh on the other line. โBecause you are a good man, Mr Blackburn. And unfortunately that makes you useful to unscrupulous characters such as myselfโฆ and your brothers, I suppose.โUseful? Or usable?โBut never mind that. Five pm. Be ready.โ He says. And with that he cuts the call. It was just then, as I was putting down the phone, that Dominic walked into my office. โWhat was that about?โ He asksโNothing.โ I wave him off. โIt canโt be nothing, you look like someone shat in your lunch.โ He teases me while leisurely plopping himself into a chair and putting his feet up on my desk like he owns it. โMaybe Iโm upset because my partner is never where heโs supposed to be. Why is it that I always find myself hav
Better In Every Wayย ย ย 58.Moral Propriety
Dariana I manage to make it to Monday morning without knocking myself out in one way or another. Though I almost didnโt as a result of Emmaโs bad influence. If she had it her way, I would have started the work week hungover. Luckily I am grown enough to know better than to get wine-drunk on a Sunday. Emma stuck around to keep me company for the rest of the day. Though I had to kick her out around seven pm lest Tom starts accusing me of monopolising his wifeโs time. I did, thankfully, manage to swear her to secrecy concerning the whole โAlec is marriedโ ordeal. Not only is this something I feel some shame for, but I donโt actually know what the situation is. And I do not want this getting to more people that could a) potentially judge me more than they already do and b) know something about Alec that he clearly doesnโt want them to know. I will only do him that much. Iโd consider that a little parting gift, it would be my closure. It is for the best. I manage to get through
Better In Every Wayย ย ย 57. Spanish Soap Opera
Dariana** Sunday Morning **I try to force myself to stay asleep, despite my exhaustion having run out a long time ago. I am hoping that I can sleep today away to avoid thinking about anything; then tomorrow I can get to work as early as possible and thrust myself into as many projects as possible. Burry myself in so much work that there wonโt be enough space in my brain for thoughts of a particular black-haired British lady.Great.Now Iโve gone and ruined my own morning by involuntarily conjuring up her image in my mind. That smug, condescending as she revealed her identity to me like sheโs some kind of telenovela villain. She might actually be one, she fits the profile. Dark-haired and bitchy. But if sheโs a novela villain, that would mean that my life has somehow devolved into a Spanish soap opera. I cannot lie, it does feel that way some days.My thoughts, however, are not the only things interrupting my sleep. Itโs my stomach. There is a wonderfully delicious smell that is
Better In Every Wayย ย ย 56. Hushed And Secretive
Carter I didnโt manage to get to sleep after Brea left. It was the first restless night I have had since she came into my life. Iโve never really been good at sleeping on my own. My whole life I have been an insomniac; never being able to catch more than an hour of sleep at a time. I had already begun to get used to the idea of that being my reality for the rest of my life when I met Brea. Right from the beginning we were inseparableโ in that I could not be away from her. Whenever I was around her the world seemed a little brighter and everything was a whole lot easier. After a while I noticed that I could do without the sleeping pills whenever she slept over (which very quickly became almost every night). I knew then that I had found my peace. The other half of my soul. I havenโt been away from her since then. Until now. And clearly my body could tell. That was the worst night of sleep I have had in over two decades. I have to drag my exhausted, wifeless ass to Lachlanโs fo
Better In Every Wayย ย ย 55. Just About Fucking Done
Carter Alec curls his lip in disgust at the sight of my hand on his shoulder. The sight of his open disdain toward me is jarring. And I must say it hurts. โDonโt you dare fucking touch me.โ He hisses, swatting my hand away from him like itโs infected. โIโm only going to say this once, so you make sure your partner in crime Lachlan gets the message.โ He says, his voice getting low. โI will do this, but not for you. Iโll do it because I donโt want that mad man potentially dragging my nephews and niece into this. If it were just about you two, Iโd probably just let you suffer the consequences of your own stupidity.โ Jesus. I never thought Iโd see the day when my own brother openly hated me this much. Sure, he and I were never as close as Lachlan and I. I will admit that Iโm a bit of a prick for not noticing until Brea pointed it out. But that was not really my fault. The age gap made it near impossible to relate to him the way Lachlan and I did. โAfter this? You two can continu
Better In Every Wayย ย ย 55. Just About Done
AlecI could barely manage to keep my composure for the rest of the night. The second Carlos left that conference room I wanted to rush to Carter or Lachlan and smack the shit out of them for ending up in this situation.More importantly, they deserve to have their shit rocked for hiding it until their fuck up was forced on me. I guess that habit is hereditary. Canโt blame Cam anymore for his bad genes. Itโs a wonder I turned out the way I did. Itโs a wonder Barry or Rory turned out so much better than their parents.It takes all of my will power to put a pause on my anger and continue with the evening. As the host, I canโt just leave while the party is going hot, so to speak. I have to paste a smile on my face and put on the performance of a lifetime despite my own feelings about the direction the night has taken.Iโm just about done with these people. And to make matters even worse, when I came out of the conference room and returned to the banquet hall, Dariana and Rachel had lef
Better In Every Wayย ย ย 54. Undermine
Alec I donโt know what sheโs doing here, but clearly her plans for the evening do not involve getting herself back in my good graces. If they do, she has a really fucked up way of showing. About fifteen minutes after Dom and I walked away from Hadley and we went on to shmooze some more; I see Hadley move across the room from where she was stewing and plotting all the way to the table where Dari and Rachel are sat. I internally cross my fingers, hoping that sheโs not there to cause trouble. There are some heavy hitters in the finance industry sitting at that table. Aaron Pryce alone would be a decent sized fish that could introduce Carrington Holdings into the workings of the game this side of the pond. Im hoping she can be mature and put potential business interests over her personal ones. Besides, she knows fuck all about what could possibly be between Dari and I. Hadley approaching her sideways would be jumping the gun on an unsure situation, and sheโs too strategic, too
