Chapter Two: Dare To Dream

Chapter Two

Vaelora's POV 

Micheal has been out since past 9am and all I've been able to do is suck around the house while limping on one foot.

My phone has been buzzing with Ashton's calls since I woke up from sleep this morning yet, I've ignored everyone of it.

He'd asked me out on a date last week but even though I knew I had no interest in going, I couldn't find it in me to say no.

Not because I don't like him. I do. In fact, I like Ashton a lot but, he isn't what I've been looking for. At first, I thought he was the one and maybe I just needed a little time to figure out my feeling but with time, the disappointment I've faced for the past four years after 18th birthday, resurfaced.

“Ouch!” I cry out as I step on a broken bottle, instantky pulling my bottom lip in between my teeth.

My gaze settles on the floor and I roll my eyes, disgust crawling up my spine. The entire floor of the living room is littered with broken beer bottles, cigarettes and packs of used matches.

It reeks of vomit and smoke mixed with some other pungent smell that makes my stomach churn. Nothing about it looks like a sitting room.

“Great. I'm so close to the last straw. So fucking close.” I grumble, picking up the roll of used tissue on top of the sofa.

I crouch down, picking up the cans and bottles, alongside the empty jar of what I assume to be honey, limping to the kitchen to dump it in the trashcan.

Grabbing a broom from a corner, I limp back to the living room and sweep the rest of the dirt, making sure to leave the floor free of any debris.

With each breath I draw in, my lungs set themselves on fire and my nose promises to completely fall off.

This hurts like a bitch.

‘When do you plan on getting out of here?’

I ignore her and drop the broom on the floor, filling a bucket with soap and water before collecting a mop stick from the corner of the pantry and dipping it inside.

As I scrub the floor, my mind drifts back to the moment when I used to watch my mother do it. She always wore a smile but it never reached her eyes and even though I was a kid then; too small to understand why she looked the way she did.

I jerk up, glancing at the ringing phone on the table. 

It's Ashton.

Picking up the phone, a sigh escapes my lips.

“Hey.” I say dryly.

“Hey. Are you alright? I've been trying to reach you but you haven't been answering.” His soft voice asks and I immediately feel bad for standing him up.

“I, uh- yeah. Uhm, I'm really sorry about that. I know I should have informed you earlier, but something came up.”

There's a pause.

“It's fine. Are you alright? What's going on?”

I wait, pondering on the most reasonable excuse I can come up with. “No-nothing's going on. It's just, uh, some personal issues and stuff, but I'm fine.”

“Alright. So, uh, I've been sitting here for about two hours. I was wondering if you'd still be able to make it?”

His voice is soft and pleading and as much as I hate what I'm about to do, again, I know that it's for the best and he'll be better off without me anyways.

“Ash, I'm sorry but I won't be able to. Not now, not next time.” 

The room is suddenly thick with anticipation and my heart is beating wildly with nervousness.

“Why?” 

I swallow a lump forming in my throat. How do I tell him that even though he's my type, I just can't fall in love with him?

“Ashton…”

“I promise, I won't be mad, Vaelora. I just– I just want to know why you don't want to give this a chance no matter how hard I try.” 

The crack in his voice sends my guilt flying through the roof and I almost change my mind.

“It's not that I don't want to give it a chance; it's that I can't give it a chance, and I'm sorry for hurting your feelings, but I can't do anything about it even though I badly want to.”

“Vaelora..” He pauses and I listen with bated breath as he sighs heavily.

“I'm sorry.” Regret and guilt mixed with despair is prickling at my skin but I welcome the feeling anyways.

“I want to know why.”

I shake my head, scratching at the skin of my fingers. “I can't tell you.”

“Vaelora -” I hang up, clutching the phone to my chest as a tear drips from my eye.

Ashton has been the only person aside from Maya to stay with me when I needed someone. He’s protected and cared for me without ever wanting anything in return, even though it was at the expense of losing something.

I knew I liked him since grade 9 and I promised to tell him when we got to college but I was too afraid, too scared to tell him about how I felt. And now? I've ruined it again, just like I always do.

With hopes that he'd call back, I place the phone back on the sofa and resume my mopping, turning at every chance to see if he texted.

He didn't.

After cleaning up the entire house, I put away everything and limp back to my room, slipping out of my robe. Taking in my naked form in the mirror, my hand grazes the bandage on my head, caressing the white material softly.

My mind reels back to the dream and I pause. 

I've had those same types of dreams since I tried to shift for the first time. It's always creepy and frightens me to reality that every time I wake up, Micheal ends up inflicting even more pain on me.

Although I'm used to him, those dreams always feel like I'm living in them; powerless and cornered.

‘We should go for a run.’ Blair, my wolf's voice says.

I ignore her, letting my hand fall limp to my side as I hop inside the bathroom and clicking the door shut.

Warm water sizzles down from the showerhead as I turn it on, carefully stepping under it.

‘Are you giving up already?’

My fingers move through my hair, detangling the knotted strands gently as the water continues to cascade down my body.

“I should charge you for rent.” I retort, closing my eyes.

Images of yesterday's event flashes through my mind and I open my eyes, wiping the water away from my face and exhaling loudly.

‘Are you scared?’ 

I slowly turn off the water and step out of the shower, picking up a clean towel and wrapping it around my body. The door clicks shut behind me and I take quiet steps further into my room.

The eeriness of the silence in the house threatens to envelope me and I hug my body tighter, dread waiting to get a hold of me.

Maybe Blair is right. We really should go for a run.

Hurriedly, I yank the towel away from my body and rush to my closet, picking out a grey sweatpant and a hoodie. 

I slip on a black lace bra with matching panties before putting on the clothes. After that, I wrap my head up with a new bandage and apply ointment to my nose, spraying myself with some perfume and grabbing my phone, dashing out of the house.

Once I get to the living room , I grab my keys from the bowl and rush out of the house, locking the door behind me. Adrenaline washes over me and I pick up a pace, rushing to the one place that gives me peace, yet haunts my reality.

Ten minutes later, I arrive in the thick of the woods and I halt, placing my palms on my knees as I ride out the high from running.

I myself up and take a step further, hoping to get to the small stream where I sit and talk to myself before the occupants of the forest come out.

My body freezes as I take another step. A growl ripples through the forest from behind me and I suck in a sharp breath, balling my hands into fists as I slowly turn around.

Two vicious, blue eyes are staring at me with bared canines. Fear grips me, my heart beating against my chest as the creature moves forward.

‘This isn't good.’

‘You need to fucking shift! Don't bail out on me today!’ I warn her through our mind link, fixating on the angry fox who looks like it's about to tear me apart.

‘I can't…oh no!’ 

It lunges at me and I quickly move to the other side, standing up at warp speed as I watch it turn to me with a snarl.

‘Blair! Now!’

Pain sizzles through my body as bones crack and my claws form.

Maybe tomorrow, I can find a way out of my misery but today, I have to save what's left of my grief stricken life.

I need to.