Chapter 3

                “After she left, I started hearing this voice inside my head, doctor! I-I know you told me not to listen to them, but it’s so hard. What should I do now?”

                Samantha hummed as she wrote down keywords out of her patient’s story. She then placed the pen down and looked at him. “Last time you were here, Mr. Rito, you were talking about your friend, Bryan, who lives under your bed, do you remember?”

The young boy nodded cautiously. “And then there’s your girlfriend, Dessa, who lives inside the mirror of your room.” He nodded again. “And then the mysterious tall man who suddenly shows up anytime and anywhere?”

                He looks at her unsteadily, eyes shifting from one place to another. Samantha respired shortly and looked at the boy’s mother who’s staring at her son in mixed emotions. ‘Twas is the first time she came with him in the clinic and she clearly couldn't believe what she was hearing.

                “I’ve ran lots of tests on your son, Mrs. Lopez, and the result shows that he is suffering from Schizophrenia. It’s a chronic and severe mental disorder that affects the way a person thinks, manage emotions, making decisions, and even perceives reality.”

                Mrs. Lopez's eyes wobbled. “S-So those friends he was talking about are just his delusions all this time?" Her voice cracked and Samantha had to nod.

                Biting her lips, Mrs. Lopez looked down in frustration. “H-His father actually suffered the same illness which caused his d-death.”

Samatha lips pressed. She had already anticipated the revelation. Chances of getting schizophrenia is genetics. Though the exact causes are unspecified, research reveals that synthesis of genetics, physical, psychological, and environmental attributes can make a person more likely develop the condition.

                In Rito's case, his girlfriend breaking up with him, triggered a psychotic episode inside his mind and created Dessa as the replacement, to save himself from the pain he's suffering.

He has been secretly consulting Samantha regarding his condition and has mentioned the abuse his late father has done which is also a factor of his developed illness.

                Samantha prescribed him antipsychotic drugs used to manage psychosis, principally schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, and handed it to Mrs. Lopez. She and Rito stood up, ready to leave and as usual, Samantha did the same to lead them outside.

                “Thank you, doc,” Mrs. Lopez smiled faintly.

                “Not a problem. Just don't forget to take him back here after two weeks, okay?”

                “Yes, doctor,” she looked at Rito who was only staring down the floor the whole time.

                “Thank, Dr. Andersen now, Rito,” she whispered, but Rito only mumbled things and started to act scared. “Stop the mumbling, Rito. You know how I hate the mumbling.”

                Mrs. Lopez had to prod him on the waist to snap him back into reality, but he only looked at Samantha and she gasped when he grabbed both of her arms. Her eyes narrowed in pain when she felt his nails dig against her skin.

                “He's here!!” He wailed. “HE FOLLOWED ME HERE!”

“RITO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! LET DOCTOR GO, THIS INSTANT!” Mrs. Lopez tried pulling her son away from Samantha, but he had his grasp on her arms quite tight, that all she could do is step back to avoid inflicting more damage on her and called for help instead. Rito kept shaking Samantha who did her best to stay calm.

                “He's here, doctor! He's here! He's here!”

Samantha did her best to plaster a smile to calm her patient. “It's okay, Rito. Calm down. No one’s here. No one's gonna hurt you. I’ll protect you. I promise.”

His eyes showed remorse with a glint of fright. “H-He's not here to for me, doctor,” he muttered, shaking his head. “You don’t have to save me, because he’s here for you.”

                For a moment, Samantha felt as though a bucket of freezing water has been poured on her. “That tall mysterious man Rito has been mentioning can’t be the same creature,” Samantha could feel her heart pounding from her chest. Even the thought of the creature alone can make her flesh tremble, let alone the imagination.

                The moment Rito has been taken away from from her, she felt like all of her energy were drained empty and she fell down the ground, shaking. Cold sweat started forming on her forehead. “N-No! It can’t be him. H-he can’t be back, not just yet,” she stuttered, biting her nails in horror. She shut her eyes closed when a horrifying lullaby resounded inside her mind once again.

                “Tili-tili bom, ty slyshish', kyo-to ryadom? Pritailsya za uglom, I pronzayet vzglyadom.”

                “Tili-tili bom, Vse skroyet noch' nemaya. Za toboy kradetsya on. I vot-vot poymayet.”

                Her eyes snapped wide open when someone placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Babe! Hey, baby! Are you okay?! Are you hurt?!” She looked up and saw Scott. Kaiser is behind him and was the one who helped pulling Rito away from her.

                “Did he hurt you?!” Scott took Samantha’s white coat off and his face crimsoned in rage when he saw scrapes on her arms out of Rito’s sharp nails. It sported a number of dark bruises that showed through the thin fabric of her peach long sleeve. Samantha swilled and covered the marks.

                “I'm fine. This is quite normal for me. I-I’m used to it,” she said, trying to sound normal.

She even tried standing up but her knees are too weak, so she almost fell back down luckily, Scott caught her on time before she could hurt herself even more.

                “Let's get you treated.”

                “No, I told you I'm fine,” Samantha said in a slightly overloud and flat voice, and stood back up on her own. Scott was left confused on the floor and gave her a skeptic look, but she didn't falter her gaze before looking away.

                “I suppose the boy's grip didn’t affect your brain, yes?” He asked in a slightly playful manner; she’d only roll her eyes. “Let me ask you,” he muttered before standing back up. She sensed him taking few steps closer to her and winced when he held the same spots Rito grasped a while ago and forced her to turn to look at him. “What the fuck is going on with you?!” He groaned.

                Samantha kept a straight face. “Can you please just understand me?!”

                “Am I not?! I've been understanding you from the very beginning of this relationship, but this is not just it!”

                “Listen here, buddy!” She placed a hand on top of Scott’s. “I warned you from the very start that our relationship would reach up this point and you clearly said you’d be completely fine about it, now you’re complaining?! You were the one who got yourself inside this trouble, goddamn it!”

                Scott could only bite his lower lip as he couldn’t argue with her. “All I'm asking is for you to open up, so I could understand, Sam,” his voice went softer and softer. “That's all, but all you do is push me—all of us away. You’re being unreasonable and unrealistic. Your lies, your secrets. I tried understanding all of them, but why the hell are you making things so hard for me?!” Samantha felt her heart skipped a beat.

“Your lies, your secrets. I tried understanding all of them,” those words resounded in her mind with random scenes from her memories.

                “Weren’t these supposed to be my lines as well?” She thought to herself.

‘Twas the first time Scott raised his voice against her; the first time she’s seen him mad.

                “T-Then maybe you’re not trying good enough.”

                “Really?!” He snorted. “I promised that no matter what I’d understand you, but why? Why can’t you do the same for me? Shouldn’t it be us understanding each other?”

                “Yeah, it should, if only we could. It’s just that our relationship now lives in lies. Understanding is for what exactly?” She bit her lip and drew a sobbing breath. “I-If you only love me because you expect something in return, then maybe you don’t really love me at all!”

                Lips parted, Scott stared at her in disbelief. His shoulders dropped and slowly looked down. Samantha felt his grip slowly loosen down until he completely removed his hands off her.

                “Maybe you're right,” he raised his head and a faint smile curved on his lips. “Maybe I don't,” his words felt like a sharp knife stabbed on her chest that she’d regretted what she said.

                “W-We really need to talk,” her voice sounded weak and gravely. “But not now. Not here. I-I have something to do.”

                Scott shook his head. “No. If you need things to be cleared, now’s the right time, Sam.”

She stood for a moment, all stunned by Scott's sudden change of character. She's fully aware that she had already pushed him far enough this time and all she could do is wonder where he’s gone at. She turned around to open the drawer behind her. Inside is a homeopathic herb cream to prevent and reduce inflammation on her bruises.

                She turned back to find him already standing in front of her. He was the one who took the bottle out and placed it on the table beside him. He carefully rolled Samantha's sleeves up, so he could apply the cream carefully.

                “I vot-vot poymayet.”

                She squeezed her eyes in exasperation when that song echoed in her mind again as vivid scenes from the past keeps flashing one after another. She opened her eyes to find Scott staring at her as he was carefully applying cream on her arm.

                "Talk," he sternly said the moment he closed the lid.

                Samantha frowned but then shrugged and drew a deep breath. “I-I was thinking about us,” she began, he remained silent, curious of what she’s gonna say next. “And the more I do, I feel like you and me, together, is unjust to the both of us.”

                Scott’s well-shaped lips thinned into grimness and she had to looked away. “I'm sorry, Scott. Y-You know how much I love you and it breaks me to tell you this but––“

                “Then don’t,” he snapped. She looked at him, meeting his brown, clear-as-the-desert eyes, and as empty.

                “You think I haven’t thought about this?!” He asked.

                “Have you?” She asked back, copying his low tone.

                “Yes! But the truth is...” he paused. He seems to be trying to read what his girlfriend is having in mind, but she showed no reaction. That made his lips thinned once again and uttered a sigh. “No matter how hard it is for me, you’re still the one I want to be with for the rest of my life. Every single time, all I can think about is our future together, about what’s it gonna be like once I got all of this uncertainty out of my head: why you have to lie? Why you have to hide your past? You know how much I love you. I just don’t understand why you can’t bring yourself to trust me!”

                Sheen tears started dimming Samantha’s eyes. She doesn't seem to understand if what she’s feeling is pain, disgust, remorse, or simply mixed.

                “LIES! Indeed. How can we both such bad liars?!” She mentally asked herself.

                “The more I think about it, the more I realize that the reason you were hiding a lot from me is because you don't see our future the way I see it.”

                Twinge of emotions assailed her as she tried to hide the misting tears in her eyes. “I actually want to tell you everything, Scott! I wanted to set myself free from all of my secrets which were slowly killing me, but I can’t! I can't let you know. Even you’re a lying, cheating bastard, I still can’t lose you in a way all of us are vulnerable for.”

                Her lips trembled. She wasn’t able to hold herself back and broke into tears. “I'm so sorry, Scott, b-but this isn’t working anymore––for us! I-I think we don’t quite measure up to the individuals we both needed and I just can’t take the feeling of being a disappointment to any of you and to myself anymore.”

                “No, babe! That’s not what I’m trying to say,” Scott was about to come near her but she signaled him not to. Never in her entire life did she imagine something like this would come but seems like things are better off the way she chose them to be.

                “I know this is tough, but if we stay together,” she sobbed, voice cracking. “We’ll just keep on hurting each other over and over again.”

                “No, Sam! I love you and I won’t do anything that could hurt you.”

                “But you did,” she whispered, clutching at her injured arms. “Yes, I already know about her, Scott. You don’t have to lie.”

                Scott stopped as his eyes wobbled in realization. "Y-you..."

***

                Samantha turned back when she heard Scott’s phone vibrating above their bedside table from a call coming from an unknown number.

                “Babe! Someone’s calling!” She called but the shower’s too loud, Scott might not able to hear her, so she took the phone herself. “It might be important,” she thought and swiped right to answer the call. She was about to say hello when a woman’s voice stopped her.

                “We have to talk in person, Scott. I can’t keep our baby a secret anymore!”

                She felt her throat dried as her hand slowly held the phone down. The woman kept on talking, but Samantha could no longer understand a word she’s saying.