19 - Fred

I threw my cell phone hard on the floor. I needed to break something, and I could always buy another case if it really broke. I couldn't stand to feel the same pain as Rebecca when she asked to be punished. Because I had already realized that it wasn't right since the last two months.

Even though I wanted everything to be done responsibly, I still felt the need to have it, but not for a contract. I wanted you to give yourself to me by will, not by benefit, not because I thought I could provide that reverse therapy of your traumatized head.

I saw the pain in her eyes, and she already knew what I felt for her, and her eyes were always sad. Sad because she couldn't reciprocate, she couldn't love me, and because she knew that sadomasochism was a limit to me, especially when used negligently.

Taken by anger, I threw another object from the top of my table, listening to the snap in contact with the floor. It had been past 5 a.m., and I hadn’t closed my eyes. My head hurt a lot, and I let my