Chapter Nineteen

"I want a divorce." Jeff announced.

The words hung in the air between them and for a moment Irene just stared at him from across the living room like she hadn't heard correctly.

He'd walked in the door five minutes ago after checking himself out of the hospital against doctor's orders and his ribs were screaming with every breath.

"What did you just say?" Her voice was very quiet and very controlled.

"You heard me, I want a fucking divorce." He gritted out, staring at her coldly.

The silence stretched between them and then her face transformed.

"A divorce?" The word came out sharp and vicious and her eyes flashed with pure rage. "You just got out of the hospital and the first thing you're talking about is divorce? Are you sure you are clear headed?"

"I've never been more clear-headed in my life." He stayed standing by the doorway. "I want you gone because I can't stand the sight of you.."

She shot to her feet and her hands clenched into fists. "You want a divorce because of something that happened over a decade ago?"

"Because everything between us has been built on lies." His voice came out hard and cold. "Because you lied to me about who saved my life. Because you let me destroy Claire when she was innocent."

"Claire again!" Her voice turned shrill. "She's been dead for five years and you're going to throw away our marriage because of her?"

"You were never supposed to be my wife in the first place….God! I was such a fool”. He groaned out the last words.

"That's insane!" She was pacing now and her anger radiated off her in waves. "I've been by your side for years. I've supported you through everything. I've been your wife in every way that matters and you're throwing it all away!"

"You've been living in a house that should have been hers." His voice got colder. "Wearing jewelry that should belong to her. Everything you have come from lies."

"So what if I lied about the river?" Her face twisted with fury. "You loved me anyway. You chose me over her every single time."

"Because I thought I owed you my life." His hands were shaking and he shoved them in his pockets. "Because you made me believe you saved me when it was Claire all along."

Her face shifted and the rage drained away and was replaced by something that looked like genuine fear.

"You can't mean that." Her voice dropped and took on a pleading quality. "Jeff, please. We can work through this."

"There's nothing to work through." He turned toward the stairs. "I'll have my lawyer draw up the papers tomorrow. You can stay here tonight but I want you out by the end of the week."

"Wait." Her voice cracked and tears formed in her eyes. "Please, just wait."

He stopped but didn't turn around.

"I know I made mistakes." The tears were falling now and her voice shook. "I know I should have told you the truth about the river. But everything else was real. My feelings for you were real."

He clenched his teeth, "Your feelings at this point are invalid ." His voice was cold and she shivered, desperation clawed at her chest.

“Your feelings made me treat my wife like garbage for five years and because I was so blinded by your lies.

"So now everything is my fault?" Her voice turned bitter. "You're the one who treated her badly. You're the one who pushed her away. Don't put that all on me."

The words hit him because they were true and cut deep.

His voice dropped. "You're right and there's nothing I can do for her because she's gone already but I can make you stop living the life that she should be living”.

He started to walk away then paused.

"And I will never forgive you for that."

"Jeff..." She was crying so hard she could barely speak. "Please. I'm begging you. Don't throw away everything we have."

"We don't have anything." He turned away. "I'll sleep in the guest room tonight. Find somewhere else to go by tomorrow because I don't want to see you ever again."

"What about Zane?" She called after him desperately. "At least think about him before you make this decision final."

He paused at the top of the stairs because hearing his son's name made his chest hurt in a different way.

"He deserves his family!" Irene's voice broke completely. "Please, Jeff. If you won't stay for me, stay for him. Don't destroy his world because you're angry at me."

He didn't answer and walked down the hallway toward the guest room.

Irene collapsed in a heap on the ground, she couldn't believe that this was happening to her. Her world was falling apart and it's all because Claire, even though she was dead, she wouldn't stop coming between her and Jeff.

No,she won't give up on Jeff, not when she had already gotten him, she was not going to sign any damn divorce papers.

Picking up her phone, she immediately dialed her mother's number.

She would die before she divorces Jeff.

*

*

The next morning Jeff came downstairs early and found Irene already awake sitting at the kitchen table with red swollen eyes.

"I've been up all night thinking." Her voice was hoarse. "And I have a proposition."

"I'm not interested in propositions." He moved to the coffee maker.

"Just hear me out." She stood up quickly. "Please."

He poured coffee and didn't look at her.

"I know you want a divorce and I know I can't stop you." She was speaking quickly. "But I'm asking you to wait. Just a few months. For Zane. Let me prepare him. Let me help him understand what's happening. Don't just rip his world apart overnight. He's only five years old and he won't understand why his parents suddenly don't live together anymore. It will destroy him."

He gripped the counter because she was right and he knew it.

Zane was innocent and the thought of hurting that little boy made him feel sick.

"Six months." She said quickly as if afraid that he might interrupt her. "Give me six months to help Zane adjust. We can tell him gradually. We can make the transition easier."

"No." He shook his head. "Two months is enough time to prepare his mind and after the divorce,he gets to live with me"

She stared at him with mouth agape, “he is my son too Jeff and I won't give him up”.

He stared at her, “you don't have a choice now, do you? And during those two months we live separate lives." He moved toward the door. "You have your room. I have mine. We're roommates for Zane's sake and nothing more."

"I understand." She was crying quietly now.

He was almost to the hallway when he heard small footsteps on the stairs.

"Daddy? You're home!"

Jeff turned and saw Zane coming down the stairs in his rocket ship pajamas and his dark hair sticking up and his grey eyes still heavy with sleep.

His heart clenched because he loved this boy with everything he had.

Zane ran to him and wrapped his small arms around Jeff's legs. "I missed you so much! Mommy said you were sick but you're home now!"

Jeff picked him up despite the sharp pain in his ribs and held him close. "I missed you too, buddy."

"Are you all better now?" Zane's small hands touched Jeff's face gently.

"Getting there." Jeff forced a smile.

"Good." Zane hugged him tighter and pressed his face against Jeff's neck. "Because I don't like it when you're gone. I want you home all the time with me and Mommy. We're a family and families stay together."

He looked at Zane's innocent face and felt the boy's complete trust, he also knew he couldn't just walk away without trying to make this easier for him.

Even if it meant enduring Irene for two more months.

Even if it killed him to stay in this house one more day.

For his son, he would try.