Chapter 1

My husband, Chad Nelson, held my blood-soaked hand and pressed my thumb onto the signature line.

"The next batch of blood bags will be here soon. Just hold on a little longer."

With that, he carried his first love, Lucy Baker, away.

The hallway was empty. No one looked back as the baby in my belly kicked violently, over and over again.

…

"Quick! Establish IVs in both arms, and start pressurized fluids! Rush the blood bank!"

"Dr. Atkinson, the patient's blood pressure is down to 50! Blood loss is over 2,000cc!"

"Where are those two bags of packed red blood cells reserved for delivery?"

I floated above the operating room, watching the crowd scramble around my body.

The scrubs of Jake Atkinson, the director of anesthesiology, were already soaked in my blood.

I wanted to touch my stomach, but my hand passed right through the air.

The wound Lucy inflicted wasn't just a scratch, despite what Chad believed.

She had slipped past the nurses, hiding a paring knife up her sleeve.

As she drove it in, she whispered in my ear, "As long as you and this baby are gone, Chad will only have me left."

When she pulled the blade out, she had even twisted the handle on purpose.

"The blood bank just responded. Those two backup bags were signed out by Dr. Nelson five minutes ago." The nurse's voice cracked.

"Signed out? Is he insane? This is a high-risk patient's lifeline!"

The veins on the back of Jake's hands bulged.

"Dr. Nelson said Ms. Baker has a severe coagulation disorder and needs emergency backup blood for an arm scrape."

The operating room went dead silent.

Only the monitors kept up their piercing shrieks.

I watched Jake frantically pack gauze, trying to stop the bleeding.

I wanted to tell him not to bother.

I never got the next batch of blood Chad promised.

The rapid ticking of the fetal monitor slowed, beat by beat, until it finally flattened into a continuous drone.

The baby who had just been kicking me went completely still.

"Fetal heartbeat gone. The patient is in V-fib. Prepare to defibrillate! 200 joules. Charging. Clear!"

With a loud thud, my body jolted off the table and fell back down heavily.

The EKG struggled for a few final twitches, then smoothed into a straight line.

The head nurse pushed the door open, her eyes red. "Dr. Nelson said the next batch of blood will arrive from the city blood center in ten minutes."

Jake put down the defibrillator paddles, his voice completely shot. "No need. Time of death, 8:07 pm."

I watched the nurse pull a white sheet over my head, covering my wide-open eyes.

Right across the wall in the VIP suite, Chad was using an iodine swab to clean a scrape on Lucy's elbow.

"Chad, did I kill Caitlin?" Lucy curled up on the hospital bed, her shoulders shaking.

Chad tossed the swab into the medical waste bin and said flatly, "No. She only has a superficial wound. You had an episode and couldn't control yourself. You won't be held legally responsible."

"But she was bleeding so much. The way she looked at me was terrifying."

"That was just her water breaking, mixed with some blood. It looks worse than it is. She's a medical student herself. She knows how to avoid having her vital organs injured."

Chad leaned down and blew gently on Lucy's elbow, which had already stopped oozing blood.

"Look at you. You know your blood doesn't clot well, so why were you running around? What if this scrape wouldn't stop bleeding?"

Lucy leaned into his chest, her tears smudging his white coat.

Right on the hem of that white coat was a bloody handprint I had left behind in my final struggle.

"I was scared that once you had a baby, you wouldn't want me anymore. I couldn't help myself," Lucy choked out.

"Don't talk nonsense."

Chad stroked her hair. "I already got her thumbprint on the waiver. Once she delivers and calms down, I'll have her come over and tell you herself that it's fine."

He spoke as if he were simply scheduling tomorrow's clinic hours.

The door to the operating room pushed open, and Jake took off his blood-stained mask. His voice was incredibly hollow as he said, "We lost them both. The mother and the child."