LOGINCassie
I’ve never been to a café like this before. White marble tables. Gold accents on everything. The kind of place where the lighting is soft enough to make everyone look expensive. There’s a glass case near the counter filled with pastries that probably cost more than my grocery budget for a week. I’m sitting by the window, both hands wrapped around a water glass because I need something to hold onto. The waitress brought it in a bottle. An actual glass bottle with a label I couldn’t pronounce and a slice of lemon balanced on the rim. My phone says 1:58 PM. She said two. My leg is bouncing under the table. I try pressing my palm against my knee to stop it but my whole body feels like it’s vibrating. Like I’m coming apart at the seams and the only thing holding me together is the fact that I’m sitting in public and can’t fall apart here. The door opens. A woman steps inside and I know before she even looks around. That’s her. Katrina Petrova. She’s wearing a long coat. Navy blue. The fabric looks heavy and expensive, tailored so perfectly it doesn’t move when she walks. Her hair is pulled back, dark brown with streaks of gray she hasn’t bothered hiding. She’s beautiful in that tired way. Like she used to care about things like that but doesn’t have the energy anymore. Her eyes scan the room. Then lands on me. I lift my hand halfway. It feels awkward and stupid. But she’s already walking over and it’s too late to pretend I didn’t. “Miss Brennan?” “Yes.” I start to stand but she waves me down. “Please. Don’t.” She sets her bag on the empty chair beside her and sits across from me. “Thank you for meeting me.” Up close, she’s even more put-together than I expected. Her makeup is perfect. No cracks. No smudges. But her eyes give her away. There are shadows under them that powder can’t quite hide. The waitress appears out of nowhere. “Can I get you anything, ma’am?” “Double espresso.” Katrina doesn’t look at her. The waitress leaves. Katrina folds her hands on the table. Looks at me like she’s trying to decide something. I don’t know what to say so I sit there, waiting. “I’ll be direct with you,” she says finally. Her voice is smooth and controlled. But there’s something underneath it that sounds like exhaustion. “I don’t have time to waste and I suspect neither do you.” I nod because if I try to speak, I’ll lose it. “My son needs a caregiver. He’s…” She pauses. Glances down at her hands. “He’s difficult. That’s the polite version.” I swallow. “Difficult how?” Her mouth tightens just slightly. “The last caregiver quit after three days. The one before that lasted a week. I’ve hired eight people in the last six months and none of them stayed.” Eight people. In six months. “What happened?” I ask. She looks up and meets my eyes. “He’s cruel when he’s in pain. And he’s always in pain.” The waitress returns with the espresso. Set it down gently and leave without a word. Katrina doesn’t touch it. “He won’t talk to me,” she continues. Her voice is quieter now. “Won’t let me help him. He locks himself in his studio and refuses to come out for days. He throws things. Refuses physical therapy. Refuses to eat half the time.” She stops and take a breath. “He’s drowning right in front of me and I can’t reach him.” There’s a crack in her voice at the end. Small. Almost too small to notice. But I hear it. “I’ve tried everything,” she continues. “Therapists. Doctors. Different medications. Nothing works. And every time I hire someone new, every time I think maybe this person will be different, he pushes them away. He’s so angry and I don’t…” She trails off and look out the window. “I don’t know how to save him.” I should say something. I should tell her I understand or that I’m sorry or literally anything. But the words stick in my throat because all I can think is that my brother did this. My brother is the reason her son is drowning. The reason she’s sitting here in this expensive café, desperate enough to hire a stranger. She opens her bag. Pulls out a thick folder and sets it on the table between us. “This is the contract,” she says. “I want to walk you through it so there are no surprises.” My hands are still in my lap. I don’t reach for it, just stare at the folder. “The position is live-in,” she continues. “But I’m willing to be flexible. Four days a week at the estate. Three days you’re free to maintain your work at the hospital, your personal life, whatever you need. I understand you have family obligations.” I blink. “How did you know I—” “I did my research, Miss Brennan.” She opens the folder. Slides a sheet of paper toward me. “Your mother is a patient at St. Mercy’s. Stage four cancer. Surgery scheduled for…” She glances at the paper. “Well. Pending funding, I assume.” My chest goes cold. She knows. “I’m not trying to invade your privacy,” she says quietly. “I’m explaining why I think you’ll stay when the others didn’t. You need this job. And I need someone who won’t quit the first time my son screams at them.” I look down at the paper. At my mother’s name printed there in black ink. At the diagnosis I’ve been trying not to think about. “The pay is twenty thousand dollars per month,” Katrina says. She taps a line on the contract. “Six months. One-twenty thousand total.” “But there are conditions,” she continues. Of course there are. She pulls out another page. Points to a section highlighted in yellow. “If you quit before three months, you’ll only be compensated for time worked. Standard hourly rate.” She looks at me. “That’s roughly eighteen thousand dollars. Nowhere near enough for what you need.” My hands are shaking again. I press them flat against my thighs under the table. “If you complete three months, you receive a signing bonus. Sixty thousand dollars.” She taps the page. “Enough to deposit for your mother’s surgery. Enough to keep you stable while you finish the contract.” Sixty thousand dollars. Three months. I can do three months. I have to. “And if you complete the full six months,” she continues, “you receive the remaining sixty thousand dollars plus an additional completion bonus. One thirty-five thousand total.” My lungs forget how to work. The number sits there between us. Impossible. “I need someone who will commit,” she says. Her voice barely cracks again. “I can’t keep doing this. Hiring someone new every week. Watching him destroy himself. Watching him push everyone away until there’s no one left.” She stops. Blinks hard. “He’s my son. He’s all I have and I’m losing him.” Her eyes are wet. She blinks again and it’s gone. Just like that. Back to composed. “I know this isn’t easy work,” she says. “I know he’s going to make your life hell and he will. But if you can last three months—just three months—you’ll save your mother’s life. And maybe…” She trails off and looks down at the contract. “Maybe you’ll save his too.” I look down at the contract. At the numbers. At the clauses written in language I barely understand. Three months and my mom lives. Six months and maybe I can freely breathe again. But every day I’m there, I’ll be lying to him. Every day, I’ll know what my brother did. I look up to see Katrina watching me. Waiting. “Where do I sign?”CassieIt doesn’t turn. I try again, pressing down harder, but the metal stays fixed in place.He locked his door from the inside, something he’s never done before in all the days I’ve been here.“Mr Petrova?” I keep my voice low in case he’s still sleeping even though I doubt he is. “I have your breakfast.”Nothing comes back.“Your medications are out here. You need to take them with food.”Still nothing, just that same heavy silence that seems to fill every corner of this house.I try the handle one more time even though I already know it won’t work, the cold metal unyielding under my palm no matter how hard I twist.He’s in there, I know he’s in there, and he’s locked me out completely like I’m some kind of threat he needs protection from.I stand in the hallway for another long moment, holding a tray of food that’s getting colder by the second and staring at a door that’s not going to open no matter how long I wait.Finally I bend down carefully, minding my knee, and set the tray
CassieI’m still standing in the hallway outside his studio with tears drying cold on my face when his words finally sink in.I don’t want an audience.I need to leave before he says something else that makes this worse, before I embarrass myself more than I already have by crying outside his door like some kind of pathetic stranger who thinks she matters.I take a step back, then another, keeping one hand on the wall to steady myself because my vision is still blurred from crying and everything looks slightly wrong in the dim light. The hallway stretches out behind me, too long and too empty, and I focus on putting one foot in front of the other until I reach the top of the stairs.The house is so quiet now that the music has stopped. Every sound I make feels amplified, my footsteps echoing off the marble floors below, my breathing uneven and catching in ways I can’t seem to control no matter how hard I try.I start down the stairs, one hand gripping the railing, moving carefully b
The silence stretches. I assume that's my answer, until he speaks, so quietly I barely catch it. “I remember some things.”“What kind of things?”“Mom crying a lot. And Mara being angry all the time. And Miles…” He trails off, his finger tracing one of the dark lines on the page. “Miles left and didn’t come back for a really long time.”My chest feels too tight but I force myself to keep breathing normally, keep my voice steady.“That sounds really hard,” I say quietly. “You were pretty young when all that happened.”He nods, still not looking at me. I reach across and gently touch the edge of the sketchbook, not closing it, just letting him know I’m here.“Sometimes when scary things happen, our brains hold onto them,” I tell him. “Even when we don’t want them to. And sometimes drawing them out can help us understand them better.”“Does it make them go away?”“Not always. But it can make them feel smaller. Less scary.”He looks up at me finally, his eyes big and serious. “I don’t re
CassieMy mom’s hand feels like it weighs nothing. That’s what I keep thinking as I sit here holding it, her fingers resting loose in mine like they might slip away if I don’t pay attention. The IV line taped to the back of her hand pulls slightly when she shifts, and I adjust my grip to give her more room.She’s awake but her eyes are doing that thing where they’re open but not really seeing anything, just staring at the ceiling tiles like maybe if she looks long enough they’ll tell her something she needs to know.Dr. Patel left a few minutes ago after saying what we both already knew. The surgery needs to happen soon. As soon as we can schedule it. Every day we wait makes the odds worse.“Mom.” I keep my voice low so I don’t startle her. “Did you hear what he said?”Her eyes move toward me, slow and unfocused, and she nods just barely.“We’re going to get it scheduled,” I tell her, squeezing her hand gently. “Everything’s going to be fine. I’ve got the money now. We can do this.”
CassieThe next morning, I bring his breakfast, open his curtains and set the tray down on the table like always.But this time I don’t leave right away. “We’re doing physical therapy today,” I say to his back where he’s still lying in bed facing the wall. “I’ll be back at ten. Please be ready.”“No.”“Ten o’clock, Mr Petrova.”I walk out before he can argue.At ten, I’m standing outside his door again, folder in hand, trying to steady my breathing. I knock once, then open it without waiting.He’s in his wheelchair by the window, dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt instead of staying in bed all day. He’s not looking at me, just staring out at the grounds like they’re more interesting than anything I could possibly say.“I’m not doing this,” he says.“Yes, you are.”“You can’t make me.”“No, I can’t.” I walk over and set the folder down on his desk.“But I’m going to be here every day at ten until you do. So you can either get it over with now, or you can listen to me knock on your doo
CassieThat afternoon, I’m standing outside his studio door with the folder Mrs Rosalind gave me yesterday. Physical therapy exercises. Stretches and movements he’s supposed to be doing three times a week to maintain muscle function and prevent further deterioration.I’ve been staring at this folder all morning, knowing I need to bring it up, knowing it’s going to be a fight.I knock once.“What?” His voice comes through sharp and irritated.“I need to talk to you about something.”“No.”“It’s important.”“I don’t care.”I take a breath, count to three in my head, then open the door anyway.The studio is dim.That’s the first thing that hits me. There are windows along the far wall but the light coming through is muted and gray, not enough to really brighten the space. The kind of light that makes everything look washed out and tired.There are lamps scattered around the room, the kind artists use when they’re working, but none of them are turned on. Just sitting there dark and unuse
Cassie The first thing I think when Mrs Rosalind opens the door and steps aside to let me in, is the room is beautiful.It’s bigger than the living room in my apartment. There’s a queen-sized bed with a thick comforter that looks like it’s never been slept in, a dresser, a desk and chair by the w
CassieKatrina goes still. Like she wasn’t expecting me to say yes so fast.Then she reaches into her bag. Pulls out a pen and slides it across the table.It’s heavy when I pick it up. The kind of pen that feels important just holding it.I flip to the last page.There’s a line at the bottom with t
CassieI don’t know how long I sit there. Could be twenty minutes. Could be an hour. Time feels strange right now, like it’s moving too fast and too slow at the same time.Eventually I get up. My legs are stiff and my back aches from sitting on the hard floor, but I make it to the break room and po
CassieThe break room smells like burnt coffee and something else I can’t quite place. Maybe it’s the trash nobody’s taken out in three days, or maybe it’s just the weight of too many double shifts soaking into the walls. I don’t know anymore.It’s three in the morning. The fluorescent lights overh







