LOGIN~ Helena ~
The phone buzzed relentlessly, like a pesky fly that just wouldnât leave me alone.
As the subway jolted to a sudden stop, I glanced at the screen, and my heart plummeted. The name flashing on the caller ID was enough to freeze me in place. It felt impossible. This couldnât be happening.
My mouth went dry, and my hand trembled as I pressed the âacceptâ button.
âHâHello?â My voice came out shaky, barely a whisper.
All I could hear was static at first, then a distorted whisper broke through: âYour fatherâs death⌠wasnât an accident.â
Everything around me blurred. My legs turned to jelly, and I gripped the subway pole for dear life. âWho are you?!â I shouted, panic rising in my chest, my heart pounding like a drum inside a hollow cave. But just like that, the call was cut off.
I stood there, paralyzed, my reflection in the train window looking back at me pale and quaking. For weeks, I had told myself that things would get better. But now, it hit me hard: this nightmare was only just beginning.
Three months had slipped by since Dadâs passing, and nothing felt right anymore.
I missed his laughter, those warm hugs, and our secret late-night ice cream raids. Sometimes, Iâd find myself waiting for the sound of his footsteps in the hallway or his voice calling me âprincess.â Then the silence would crash over me again, a brutal reminder that he was really gone.
That morning, I dragged myself out of bed, wiping away fresh tears. On my desk sat a photo of Dad and me, both grinning in the sunlight. I pressed a soft kiss to it before forcing myself to get up.
Mom was still curled up in bed when I brought her breakfast toast, bacon, and fresh orange juice. She managed a weak smile as I kissed her forehead. For a fleeting moment, we held each other in silence, clinging together like pieces of a broken ship trying to stay afloat.
But there was no time to linger in sorrow. Bills had to be paid, and food needed to be on the table. So I got dressed for work: a purple floral shirt, jeans, a swipe of lip gloss, and my hair pulled back in a ponytail. I hated my waitress job, but it was all we had.
The restaurant was alive with chatter, the clatter of dishes filling the air. I met up with my best friend, Tasha, in the locker room.
"Are you going to the carnival tonight?" she asked, fixing her hair in the mirror.
I shook my head. "No, I canât leave Mom alone. She needs me."
Tasha let out a sigh. "Helen, you canât hide forever. Sheâd want you to enjoy life too."
I managed a weak smile. "Maybe one day."
At work, I kept my cool, even when customers were a bit difficult. While I was taking an order, I spotted a young girl at a nearby table, looking pale and shaky. She rushed over and tugged at my sleeve, pulling me toward the restroom.
Once inside, she whispered, "I⌠I think somethingâs wrong. I saw blood in my shorts."
Her voice was shaky with fear.
I took a deep breath and softened my voice. "Itâs okay. Nothingâs wrong. You just got your period; it happens to every girl."
Her eyes went wide. "But⌠My mom isnât here to explain it. She died."
My heart broke for her. I wrapped her in a hug. "Then let me help you." I explained the basics, handed her some tissues, and helped her calm down. By the time we stepped out, her father was waiting for me, tears in his eyes.
"Thank you. Since her mother passed, Iâve felt lost on how to handle these situations," he said.
"Itâs okay," I replied with a warm smile. "Youâre doing your best." I gave him my number, just in case he ever needed advice for his daughter.
Moments like that made me realize how much I had grown since Dad passed away, how grief had forced me to be stronger than I thought possible.
By the time evening rolled around, my shift was done. Tasha and I hopped on the train home, sharing light-hearted laughs about the customers to fill the quiet. Just then, my phone buzzed.
At first, I thought it was Mom calling. But when I saw the name flash on the screen, I nearly dropped my phone in shock.
It was someone I never expected to hear from again, someone I was sure wouldnât be reaching out to me.
When I answered the call, the words I heard shatt
ered everything I thought I knew about my fatherâs passing.
~ Helena ~The glass doors slid open with their usual soft hiss, but the sound felt deafening to me. It was the sound of my return, the sound of stepping back into the very place that had chewed me up and spit me out, then watched as I disappeared in disgrace.I braced myself.I had told myself a hundred times I wouldnât let it break me. That Iâd walk into the building like I never left. That my head would be high, my steps firm, my eyes steady.But nothing prepared me for the stares.They landed on me the instant I crossed the threshold, heavy and sharp, like glass shards pressed against my skin. Whispers followed immediately, like shadows too fast for me to catch, but too loud for me not to hear.âShe actually came back?ââI thought sheâd have the decency to quit.ââThis girl has no shame.âThe words werenât whispers. Not really. They were bait, spoken just loud enough for me to catch, just cruel enough to sting.I forced my lips into what I hoped was a calm smile, though my heart w
~Helena~â Being home felt like pâressing pauâse on a world that wâas spiânnâing too fâaâst. The air here waâs dâifferent, softer, calmer, untouched by tâhe buzzing flâ uorâ escentâ liâ ghts of offiâce hallways or the constant ping of emails. I couâld aâ câtuâ allyâ hear biârds in the morning instead of the distant roar of city traffic. And mosâ t of all, I didnâ ât hâaâ ve tâo wake up at 5 a.m., rush iânto stiffâ skirts and heelâs, and drag myselâfâ through another day of whâispers and stares.Hâoâ me meant comfort. Home meaânt peace. Home meanâ tâ Momâs cookiâng and Mrs. Lawâsonââs gentle hums fromâ nextâ door as she tended to herâ gardenâ. For the first time in what feltâ lâ ike forever, I could sit at the dâining tablâ e withoâ ut an agenda, witâ hout sticky notes câoverinâgâ my plannâeâ r, wiâ thout an urgâent phone call steâaling my attention.Still, that peâace was bittersâ weet.Every tâ iâme I looked at Mâom, I remembered that itâ wâ ouldnâât last foreverâ. Her tremor was stilâl theâre, even w
~Hâ elena~ After everything that haâppened atâ tâ hâ eâ office, I deâcidâed I needed aâ break. Noâtâ juâst a small paâ use, but a real escâ apâe from the noise, the tension,â and the weight of all tâheâ unanswereâd qâuestions circling my lifâ e likâe restless biâ rds. Iâ waânted to goâ toâ aâ place where Iâ wasâ râespected,â valued, and loâvâ ed witâhout quesâtioân. And there was only one place that made seânse, Pennsylvaânâia.It wasnât a decisâion Iâ made lightlây. The suspensiâon froâ m work was still fresh in my chest like a bruise. One week oâff. Thatâs what Ethan had said. Oâ ne week to reâflect. Iâ câ ouldnâât bear the iâdea of just staying in Washington, wanâdâering my apartmâ ent with nothing butâ silence tâo keep me comâpanyâ. The city itâself feâlt heavy now, like it was cloâ sing in on me. So Pâennsylvania wasnât just a choâ ice. It wasâ a necessity.âIâ had aâlways wanted tâ o go backâ, tâo sâpâ enâd more tâime thereâ, but work, life, and excâuses always gotâ in the waây. Now, it fel
~Helena~ The office buzzed likeâ a restless hâive that aftâ ernoon. Phoneâs rang in sharp bursts, prâintâ ers whirred, keyboâards clickeâ d in uneven rhythmâs, aâ nd faint convâersations overlapped until tâ hâey blendâed into a lâ ow hum of corporate chaos. Itâ wasnâtâ unuâ sual for us to be thisâ busy, we were, aftâerâ all, handling end-of-quarâter reconciliations,â butâ soâmething about the atmosâphere todâay felt diffeâ rent. Urgeânt. Tight. Heaâ vy.I sat atâ my desk,â posture straâiâght and dâ iscipâ lined, but inside my head wâas a stormâ of distractioâns. My lamp cast a soft pooâ l of light over the messâ oâ f fiâlesâ Iâ had organiâzed into smâalâl, neat stacks. Higâhlighâters, piânk, blâ ue, neâ oân yeâ llow, were scatteredâ acâross the dâesk like fragments of my restless thoughts, eâach oneâ maârkinâ g something âimportâant,ââ tâhougâ h hâaâlf the time, everythiâng felt imâporâ tant.Theâ Carâ ter accâ ount sat open in front oâf mâe. Rows of numbers, balaâncâ esâ, transfers, and annotaâtions fil
~Helena~Thâe office at night had a strange way of making everything loudâ er, my thoughâ ts, my feâars, my heartbeâat.â The silenâ ceâ didnât soothe me tonight;â iât pressed against me lâike a weight.I have been staring at the prâopâosalâ document for so long that the wâ ords were sâtarting to blur. Between the fiâ les I haâ d snapped fromâ theâ finance storage room and the mâessy knot of emâoâtioâns tiedâ toâ Ethâan, myâ mind felt likâe it was carrâying more than it could hold.I dâidnât even hear him comeâ in.âStill awake?âIâ lookeâd up. Ethan stood at myâ door witâ h two cuâ ps of coffee, sleeves rolled, tie loosenâ ed, looâking entirely tooâ calâ m for someone who shoâuldâveâ gone home thâ ree hours agoâ.He walked in,â plaâced oneâ cup beside me, anâ d leâaned against my desk lâike heâ beloâ ngedâ there.ââ You didânât tâ ell me yoâ u were staying thâ is late,â he said.ââYou didnât tell me you were keeâping wâ atch.âHe gâave a sâmall smile, thâe one thatâ made me forget how to breathe proper
~Ethaâ nâ~â A party.That woârd haâ d slipâped into my ears earlâ ierâ inâ the office whâen I overâ heard Helenaâs colleâaâgues.â They were pressing her to come, laughingâ ,â pullingâ at heâr arâ m, anâ d for sâ ome râ eason I didnât like iât. Not becâause I had the rigâ htâ to tell heâ r what to do, I didnât. Sheâ was free, iândependâent, stubborn, and beautiful in her quiet way. But the thoughât of her at some crowded eveânt, surrounded by strangers⌠it madâe something ugly twist inside me.ââI have been pouring coffee iâ n tâ hâ e break room when Danielâs voice snapped me back to reality.âEthan, what are yoâu doing?â âI blinked down, realizing the mug iân my hanâd was alrâeady overfâlowiâng. Thâ e cofâfeeâ had spilled down theâ sidâ e of the counter, a brown riâveâr pâ ooâ lâing under the machine.â Mâ y jaw tightened.âIââm..â I cleaâ red mâ y throat. âIâmâ finâ e.ââDaâniel leanedâ againsât the counter, armâs folded, watching mâe with that suspicious grin he always wore whenâ he knew I wasnât tâ elli







