Chapter 5

Elina

I woke up with excruciating pain in my stomach and all over my body.

I was lying on the bed, and the hospital room felt so empty. Not a single person was there, not even Jonathan.

A lonely feeling washed over me, and the memory of Jonathan’s back became clearer. He had left me without hesitation.

I can’t believe he’s not even here. Is he still busy with Lora?

I held my stomach. He should be here, worrying about me and our baby.

Tears fell from my eyes, and I tried to stop them by wiping them away. But it was difficult, and the crying only grew heavier.

This loneliness made me even sadder; my body felt colder, and I curled up on the bed.

After I calmed down a bit, I tried to move from the bed. My throat felt so dry, and I had to get up to get water from outside the room.

It felt so sad, being cared for yet having no one truly care.

With weak steps, I tried to reach the drink, taking a sip immediately, and grabbed another bottle from the vending machine to bring back to my room.

On the way home, I heard voices coming from a room right next to mine.

“Does it have to be like this, Jonny?”

I heard the voice in disbelief. My steps stopped automatically, and I approached the door of the neighboring room.

“No. I don’t want it to be like this. I’m not going to give in again for that orphan!”

My emotions completely spiraled after realizing that it was Lora speaking, and that she was referring to me.

It was very clear—I could see her sitting on the bed, and Jonathan was holding her hand. I had been trying so hard to tell myself that they were just step-siblings.

But when I saw this, their relationship seemed to be more than that.

“I’m asking you to calm down. You’re not fully recovered yet, Lora.”

Instead of being in my room and keeping me company, he was here.

Why was he acting like this?

I am his wife.

Now, I felt an even stronger urge to eavesdrop on their conversation while trying to brace myself.

“If it weren’t for that, I would have been the one married to you!”

My body trembled. Nothing could have been more shocking than this. This was the answer to why they seemed so close.

“We’ve loved each other since the beginning. But because your grandpa knew about our relationship, he arranged for you to be with her.”

Her voice grew louder. “Now that he’s dead, nothing is stopping us from being together.”

So this is what was really happening. The reason for Lora’s return and Jonathan’s behavior—they wanted to be together again. This fucking situation was utterly messed up.

How dare they toy with me!

My grip on the water bottle tightened.

Right then, I heard Lora sobbing uncontrollably. I saw Jonathan immediately hug her.

Now my heart understood his cold behavior all this time—the reason he seemed never to love me. Because from the very start, his love had been for Lora.

“We have a chance… I want us to be together,” Lora sobbed, frustrated.

One more thing—I was also feeling frustrated in this situation.

In this arranged marriage, over the past year… have they actually been in contact all this time? Sharing details about their lives and making me a joke?

“I know, Lora. But now is not the time,” Jonathan said.

Tears kept streaming down my face. Maybe soon it would be the moment he would divorce me. It was hard to believe, and my anxiety rose, making my cold hands tremble as they held my belly.

We… we were going to have a child…

Anger and disappointment surged, making it hard for me to breathe.

“…Are you in love with that woman now!?” she shouted.

The question made me hold my breath. I wanted to hear Jonathan’s answer, maybe he would say something different. I was still trying to deny the reality of the situation.

But I didn’t hear any answer at all.

Meanwhile, Lora’s cries grew louder, and Jonathan repeatedly tried to calm her with careful attention.

“I’m the one who should be by your side, Jonathan!”

“I’m the one who should be there…”

That feeling of being broken was even more painful. I felt myself falling into an abyss of ice so deep.

I couldn’t bear to look at them anymore. Dragging my steps, I returned to my room in shock, my head aching.

Over and over, I replayed what I had heard, feeling like the only fool was me.

After an unknown amount of time, Jonathan finally came in. His expression was as usual.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

The scent of Lora’s perfume lingered on him. The image of them hugging, and him caring so much for her, made me stare at him with no expression.

Part of me wanted to lash out emotionally. Yet the words that came out were flat.

“Aren’t you more concerned about Lora?”

Jonathan looked startled at my words.

“You didn’t come back to save me.”

The moment I said it, my heart ached deeply. It was truly my fault for expecting his love.

“Elina, can’t you act like an adult?” His mocking voice irritated me. “I’m already here. What more do you want?”

I stared at him. “Are you always going to put Lora before me, Jonathan?”

For the first time, I saw him shocked by my words. His jaw tightened; he probably wasn’t pleased with what I said.

When his voice grew heavier, he spoke coldly as usual.

“You’re really overreacting. Lora has had claustrophobia since she was a child, you should understand that. She’s part of the family; there’s no way I could ignore her.”

“Are you really going to keep being disappointing like this, Elina?”

In that moment, for the first time, I was truly disappointed in him. My mouth couldn’t form a word. I couldn’t respond to him, realizing that no matter what, it seemed I would never be above Lora.

I was so exhausted with my situation. All this time, I had to understand the circumstances and do everything for him, for the family. And Jonathan had never done anything for me.

“You… why do I always have to understand? Don’t I deserve your attention, Jonathan?” I decided to speak firmly.

“I’m here too, and I’m hurt…” I paused to take a breath.

Jonathan’s snapping voice hit me again. He treated my feelings as if they didn’t matter.

“Don’t overdo it. You complain too much,” he snapped.

Just as I was about to respond to him, a nurse came in. We stopped our argument and let the nurse check on me.

I couldn’t take my eyes off Jonathan, who didn’t pay any attention to the examination and seemed to be just waiting there, which made everything even harder.

“Ma’am, regarding your preg—”

My eyes immediately widened at her words, and I cut her off with a louder, firmer voice.

“I’m thirsty.” quick and decisive.

The nurse froze, then fetched a drink from nearby, while I unconsciously covered my stomach with the blanket.