04

I have always believed that an Alpha who cannot master his own emotions has no business leading a pack. That belief has guided every decision I have made since losing my mate. Grief taught me discipline. Discipline became routine. Routine became the wall that separated my heart from everything capable of hurting it again.

For years, that wall has never shown so much as a crack. Now, after only a few days under the same roof as Elsie, I find myself questioning the strength of something I once believed was unbreakable.

I began the morning by burying myself in preparations for Willow’s engagement celebration. There were guests to greet, elders to accommodate, security arrangements to approve, and countless details demanding my attention.

"Alpha Jacques, the catering coordinator needs you to sign off on the liquor license extension for the courtyard bar," my assistant, Sarah, said, handing me a tablet as I walked down the main corridor.

"Give it here," I murmured, scanning the document quickly before signing my name. "Has the additional perimeter guard been posted at the northern gate yet?"

"Yes, sir. Jax took the morning shift himself," she replied, taking the tablet back. "Also, Elder Thomas is in the parlor. He’s already complaining that the vintage blend we selected for the toast is too modern for his taste."

I let out a low, tired breath. "Tell Thomas I’ll personally open a bottle of the '94 reserve for his table. That should keep him quiet through the speeches."

Every task should have been enough to occupy my thoughts, yet they continued wandering in the same impossible direction. Whenever I entered a room, I caught myself looking for her without meaning to. Whenever I heard laughter echoing through the manor, I instinctively recognized hers before anyone else’s.

I disliked how easily my mind betrayed me. More than once I deliberately chose longer routes through the manor simply to avoid crossing paths with her. It was foolish, but necessary. The less I see her, the easier it should become to forget these strange feelings.

By midday, most of the guests had gathered in the gardens where final decorations were being arranged. Willow insisted on helping despite everyone reminding her she was supposed to be enjoying the celebration rather than organizing it. Elsie refused to leave her side, laughing as they argued over flowers, ribbons, and seating arrangements.

"Willow, I am telling you, if you put these heavy centerpieces on the wicker tables, the whole thing is going to collapse before the first course is served," Elsie said, balancing a large glass vase against her hip.

"Oh, don't be dramatic, Elsie," Willow scoffed, waving a hand dismissively as she adjusted a silk ribbon. "Those tables are reinforced oak underneath the wicker. They can handle a few flowers."

"It's not just flowers, it's three gallons of water and a solid iron base!" Elsie countered, her laugh ringing clear across the lawn. "If a table splits in half during your future mother-in-law's speech, I'm pointing right at you."

"Fine, fine, you win," Willow laughed, throwing her hands up. "We’ll move them to the stone ledges. Happy?"

Watching them together reminded me of years gone by, when they were inseparable girls racing through these same gardens without a care in the world. For a brief moment, the weight I carry every day felt lighter. Then everything changed in the span of a heartbeat.

I heard the sharp scrape of stone and the sudden, breathless gasp of someone losing their balance. My head turned instinctively. Elsie had stepped awkwardly on an uneven flagstone while carrying the heavy decorative arrangement. Before I consciously decided to move, my body had already crossed the distance separating us.

I caught her around the waist just as she began to fall. One of my arms supported her lower back, pulling her against my chest, while my other hand steadied her arm before her foot could twist any further under the weight. Her hand gripped my shoulder tightly for balance, her fingers digging through the fabric of my shirt.

The instant our eyes met, the world around us seemed strangely distant. The chatter of the decorators, the rustle of the wind, the distant music all faded into absolute silence.

I was suddenly aware of every shallow breath she took, the rapid thud of her heartbeat against my ribs, the scant inch separating our lips. It lasted only seconds, yet those seconds stretched far beyond reason.

"Oh, thank goodness," Willow breathed, her cheerful voice breaking the invisible spell that had settled over us. "Dad, amazing reflex. Elsie, are you okay? Did you drop the vase?"

I stepped back immediately, clearing my throat and forcing my hands into my pockets to hide the slight tremor in my fingers. "Are you hurt, Elsie?" I asked, my voice raspy.

"No, I'm... I'm fine," Elsie whispered, her eyes remaining on mine for a second too long before she looked down, a bright, undeniable flush creeping up her neck. "Thank you, Alpha Jacques. I should have been looking where I was going."

"The stones are old and uneven," I said, trying to project the calm authority expected of me. "Just take your time. Willow, make sure she doesn't carry anything else heavy today."

"On it, Boss," Willow chirped, completely oblivious to the tension vibrating between us.

I spent the rest of the afternoon pretending the moment never happened. Unfortunately, pretending does not erase memory. If anything, it sharpens it.

I replayed those few seconds again and again until I became irritated with myself. Protecting members of my pack is my responsibility. There should have been nothing unusual about catching someone who stumbled.

So why did it feel so natural to hold her? Why did letting go feel unexpectedly difficult? Those questions lingered long after the celebrations began winding down for the evening.

Sleep refused to come. I remained in my study until well past midnight before finally admitting defeat. Hoping the cool night air would quiet my restless thoughts, I left my office and wandered through the silent corridors of Alpha Manor. Most of the guests had already retired, leaving only the soft glow of wall lamps to illuminate the hallway.

Without realizing it, my steps carried me toward the east wing. I stopped only when I recognized the door to the room assigned to Elsie. A sensible man would turn around immediately. Instead, I remain standing there, staring at the door while silently questioning what I was doing.

Before I could force myself to leave, the handle slowly turned. The door clicked open. Elsie stepped into the hallway, dressed in loose sleeping clothes, and froze the instant she saw me standing there in the dark. I suspect I looked just as surprised.

"Alpha Jacques?" she whispered, her voice a soft, breathless note in the quiet hallway. "What... what are you doing out here?"