Chapter 5: Why He Hates Me

I wake up to someone pounding on my door for the second morning in a row.

"Miss Blackwood! Beta Catherine wants to see you in her office in twenty minutes!"

I drag myself out of bed, my body aching like I've been in a fight. The mate bond kept me up most of the night, pulsing with pain every time I thought about Kade. Which was constantly.

I get dressed quickly in jeans and a simple sweater—nothing fancy, because I don't own anything fancy. My reflection in the bathroom mirror looks awful. Dark circles under my eyes, pale skin, hair that won't cooperate. I look like exactly what I am: someone who's barely holding it together.

Beta Catherine's office is on the first floor. I find it easily enough by asking a passing omega, who points me in the right direction without actually speaking to me.

I knock on the door.

"Come in."

Beta Catherine sits behind a large desk covered in paperwork. She doesn't look up when I enter, just keeps writing something in a notebook. I stand there awkwardly, waiting.

After what feels like forever, she sets down her pen and finally looks at me. Her expression is cold, professional.

"Sit."

I sit in the chair across from her desk.

"Let's get one thing straight," she says without preamble. "I don't like this situation any more than you do. Alpha Kade doesn't want you here. The pack doesn't want you here. But pack law is pack law, so here we are."

"I understand," I say quietly.

"For the next three months, you will perform certain duties. Nothing too important—Alpha Kade has made it clear you're not to have any real authority. But for appearances, you need to be seen doing something."

She slides a piece of paper across the desk toward me. I pick it up and scan the list:

Attend all pack dinners

Visit the pack school once a week

Help organize the monthly pack gathering

Sit beside Alpha Kade at official meetings

Attend training sessions (observation only)

"These are your responsibilities," Beta Catherine says. "You will fulfill them without complaint. You will be polite and respectful to all pack members. You will not cause any drama or draw unnecessary attention to yourself. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Beta Catherine."

"Good." She leans back in her chair. "Now, let's discuss your living situation. You'll continue to stay in the room you were assigned. Alpha Kade will not be visiting you there. You will not seek him out in his private quarters. Any necessary communication will go through me."

The words hurt, even though I expected them. My mate doesn't even want to talk to me directly.

"What about the mate bond?" I ask hesitantly. "Isn't the point of this three-month trial to give it a chance to develop?"

Beta Catherine's laugh is harsh. "The point is to satisfy pack law. Nothing more. Alpha Kade has no intention of accepting this bond. He's counting down the days until he can officially reject you and be done with this mess."

"Then why not just—"

"Because the law requires an honest effort," she interrupts. "Which means going through the motions, even if everyone involved knows how it will end. Now, do you have any other questions?"

I have a million questions, but I don't think Beta Catherine is the right person to ask. So I just shake my head.

"Then you're dismissed. Dinner is at seven, as usual. Don't be late."

I leave her office feeling worse than when I arrived, if that's even possible.

I have the rest of the day to myself, so I decide to explore the pack territory. Maybe if I understand this place better, I'll feel less like an outsider.

The territory is huge. I walk past training grounds where warriors are sparring, a school building where I can hear children laughing, a medical center that looks more advanced than anything my old pack had. Everything is clean, organized, well-maintained. This pack has money and resources that most can only dream of.

I end up at the pack library, a beautiful building made of stone with huge windows. Inside, it's quiet and peaceful, shelves upon shelves of books stretching toward the ceiling.

An elderly woman sits at the front desk. When she sees me, her expression softens with something like sympathy.

"You must be Sera," she says kindly. "I'm Mora. I run the library."

"It's beautiful," I say honestly, looking around.

"Feel free to browse. Reading is allowed for everyone, even..." She trails off, seeming to catch herself.

"Even unwanted mates?" I finish for her.

Mora winces. "I was going to say 'even visitors,' but yes, I suppose that's more accurate. I'm sorry, dear. This situation isn't fair to you."

Her kindness almost makes me cry. "Thank you."

I spend the next few hours lost in the library, pulling random books off shelves and reading. It's the first time I've felt even slightly peaceful since the mate bond snapped.

Around mid-afternoon, I hear voices coming from a back section of the library. I probably shouldn't eavesdrop, but I recognize one of the voices. It's Vivienne.

"—absolutely ridiculous that we have to pretend she matters," Vivienne is saying. "Everyone knows Kade belongs with me."

"The mate bond is sacred, Vivienne." This voice is male, unfamiliar. "Even if he doesn't want it, the bond exists."

"Only because Elena is gone," Vivienne snaps. "If Elena were still alive, none of this would have happened. That girl is just a cheap copy, a cosmic joke."

"Do you really think she looks that much like Elena?" the male voice asks.

"See for yourself."

I hear footsteps, then the sound of a phone being unlocked. There's a long silence.

"Wow," the man says finally. "That's... unsettling. They could be sisters."

"Which is exactly why Kade can't stand to look at her. Every time he sees that face, he remembers what he lost. It's torture for him."

"Then maybe the bond will help him heal," the man suggests. "Maybe the Moon Goddess—"

"The Moon Goddess made a mistake," Vivienne interrupts coldly. "And in three months, it will be corrected. Kade will reject her officially, and things will go back to normal. He'll finally move on with me."

"You really think he'll choose you after the rejection?"

"I know he will. I've been patient for three years. I've been here for him when no one else was. Once that girl is gone, Kade will see what's been in front of him all along."

I can't listen anymore. I quietly leave the library, my heart pounding, my hands shaking.

So that's how it is. Vivienne is waiting for me to be rejected so she can have Kade for herself. And based on how he treats her versus how he treats me, she's probably right. He'll choose her. Why wouldn't he? She's beautiful, confident, and she doesn't remind him of his dead mate.

I'm walking back toward the pack house, lost in thought, when I literally run into someone.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't—" I start to say, then stop when I see who it is.

It's a young woman about my age with bright red hair and freckles. She's wearing training gear and carrying a water bottle, like she just came from the training grounds.

"Watch where you're going," she says, but her tone isn't mean. Just matter-of-fact.

"I'm sorry," I say again.

She studies me for a moment, then her eyes widen with recognition. "You're her. The mate."

I brace myself for whatever's coming next. Insults, probably. Or questions I don't want to answer.

But instead, she sticks out her hand. "I'm Riley. I'm a warrior here."

Surprised, I shake her hand. "Sera."

"I know. Everyone knows." She takes a drink from her water bottle. "Look, I'm going to be straight with you because I hate all the passive-aggressive nonsense going on around here. This situation sucks for you, and most people are being jerks about it."

Her bluntness is actually refreshing. "Yeah, it pretty much sucks."

"For what it's worth, I don't think you look that much like Elena," Riley says. "I mean, yeah, similar coloring and features. But Elena was... softer. Gentler. You look tougher, like you've had to fight for everything."

"That's because I have," I say without thinking.

Riley nods like that makes sense. "Yeah, I heard about your father. That he was a traitor or whatever. Must have been rough growing up with that hanging over your head."

"It was."

We start walking together, heading in the same direction. Riley fills the silence with easy chatter about pack life, pointing out different buildings and explaining what they're used for. It's nice, being treated like a normal person instead of a problem to be solved.

"Can I ask you something?" I say finally.

"Sure."

"Why are you being nice to me? Everyone else here either ignores me or treats me like garbage."

Riley shrugs. "Because I don't believe in punishing people for things they can't control. You didn't choose to be mated to Alpha Kade. The Moon Goddess made that choice. And frankly, I think everyone blaming you is stupid. If they're mad, they should be mad at fate, not at you."

"Thank you," I say, meaning it. "That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me since I got here."

"People around here worship Kade," Riley explains. "Which, don't get me wrong, he's a good Alpha. Strong, fair, protective. But since Elena died, they've all been walking on eggshells around him. They see his pain and want to protect him from more hurt. So when you showed up, looking like Elena but not being Elena, they saw you as a threat."

"I would never try to replace her," I say desperately. "I don't even want to be here."

"I know. And if half these people would pull their heads out of their asses, they'd know it too." Riley grins. "Give it time. Some of us are more reasonable than others."

We reach the pack house, and Riley waves goodbye, heading toward the training grounds. I watch her go, feeling slightly better than I did before.

Maybe not everyone here hates me. Maybe I can survive these three months if I can find a few allies.

I'm almost to my room when I hear voices coming from around the corner. I recognize both of them immediately: Kade and Vivienne.

I should keep walking. I should go to my room and mind my own business.

But I can't help myself. I press against the wall and listen.

"You can't keep avoiding her forever," Vivienne is saying. "Pack law requires you to spend time together."

"I'm doing what's required," Kade's voice is harsh. "I sit near her at dinner. That's enough."

"The Elders are already asking questions. They want to see more effort."

"Then the Elders can mind their own damn business."

"Kade..." Vivienne's voice softens. "I know this is hard. I know seeing her hurts. But it's only three months. Then you can reject her officially, and we can finally move forward. Together."

There's a long pause. Then Kade says, "I can't look at her without seeing Elena's face. Without remembering everything I lost. It's not fair, Vivienne. The Moon Goddess is cruel to do this to me."

"I know, baby. I know."

My heart is breaking, but I can't stop listening.

"She doesn't even know," Kade continues, his voice rough with emotion. "She has no idea why I really can't stand her. The resemblance to Elena is bad enough, but it's more than that. It's who she is. What her family did."

"Her father killed yours," Vivienne says. "Of course you can't accept her. She's the daughter of your father's murderer. The mate bond is asking you to forgive the unforgivable."

Wait. What?

"Marcus Blackwood is the reason my father is dead," Kade says, and I can hear the barely controlled rage in his voice. "He betrayed him. Sold information to our enemies. Got him killed for gambling debts and money. And now the Moon Goddess expects me to mate with his daughter? To trust her? To love her?"

The world spins around me. My father... killed Kade's father?

I knew my father was a traitor. I knew he betrayed his Alpha. But I never knew the full details. No one would tell me. They just said he sold information, that he was exiled for his crimes.

But he got Alpha Rowan killed. Kade's father.

No wonder Kade hates me. It's not just that I look like Elena. It's that I'm the daughter of the man who destroyed his family.

"Three months," Vivienne says soothingly. "Just three months, and then she's gone. You never have to see her again."

"Good. Because I don't know how much longer I can stand being in the same territory as her. Every time I see her, I want to—" He cuts himself off.

I don't wait to hear more. I run to my room, my vision blurring with tears.

Everything makes sense now. The hatred in Kade's eyes. The pack's hostility. The way everyone treats me like I'm poison.

I'm not just the unwanted mate who looks like his lost love. I'm the daughter of his father's killer.

How am I supposed to survive three months here when my very existence is a reminder of the worst tragedy in Kade's life?

I curl up on my bed and cry until I have no tears left. My wolf is howling inside me, confused and hurt and not understanding why our mate hates us so much.

But I understand now. I understand completely.

And it makes everything so much worse.