Crossroads

Xena

“Mother! Come and join us!” Xaden beams the moment he spots me. I would have preferred to take a shower and rest a bit before supper, but I can’t turn him down when he is so excited. I walk to them and take a sit on the bench to watch them play.

He squints he cute eyes and asks, “Are you angry at Daddy?”

I look at Xael and back at him. I am almost certain that Xael would never say anything to him about this.

“Why do you ask, love?”

“You did not kiss Daddy. You always kiss him.”

I am speechless for a moment. I do always kiss Xael whenever I return from work or anywhere really. Xaden is only eight and very observant. I am still trying to come up with a believable explanation when Xael sits next to me. He has pulled me into his arms and kissed me before I could recollect myself.

I carefully push him away when Xaden gets distracted by a caterpillar on the grass. I shut Xael out when he makes eye contact. He will read my mind and know that I have considered divorcing him if I don’t shut him out. He will find out eventually, but not when Xaden is here.

“Give me a chance and remember my vows to you,” he whispers to my ear before getting up and joining Xaden. I am irritated with myself when his warm breath touches my skin, sending goosebumps to the part of my brain that has not caught on to the new reality.

The two go on and on about facts about the caterpillar and its life cycle, but my mind is miles away. Where is his mate right now? Is she in one of the suites in the castle? What did he tell her? What exactly does he expect?

We are heading inside when Xaden asks, “How is Beta Rebecca, Mother?”

“She is very ill, Love. She has been lifted to the intensive care unit.”

They both look worriedly at me. They look so alike, its unsettling.

“Is she going to be okay, Mother?” The Beta is very close to us. “Of course, she will be. You are the miracle doctor,” he quickly answers himself.

I smile at him. He is my second biggest fan.

“I hope she will be fine, love, but remember, I don’t give life, I can only preserve it. Sometimes people die and there is nothing even I can do. Life changes all the time. That can be hard and painful, but life always continues.”

He nods. He and I have had this conversation.

“I know, Mother. I am so grateful to have both my parents. Daniel has been crying a lot at school. His father left them. He would be very sad if he lost his mother,” he tells me what I already know.

That is why I fought so hard to get Rebecca to the intensive care unit. I can only hope it is not her time. I don’t really know how to reassure Xael that his friend will be fine, because I have no idea if his mother will make it. Luckily, he is soon distracted by Fiona, who takes him away. Leaving me alone with Xael.

I quickly take a different turn and ignore him when he clears his throat to get my attention. I pick up my step when I hear his footsteps behind me.

“Let go of me!” I grit my teeth when he picks me up and heads to our chambers. I want to punch and kick him, but I can’t do that with all the castle employees around. I can bet that everyone will be watching us closely. I can’t handle rumors right now.

“Put me down, Xael,” I demand when he kicks our door shut.

“Life changes all the time. That can be hard and painful, but life always continues. What did you mean by that?” he asks before putting me down. “Why would you say that to our son, Xena?” he presses on.

I shrug. I don’t owe him any explanations. Xaden needs to know that life is not only roses and rainbows. I am no prophet, but I can bet on my life that our perfect family life is about to change forever.

“You are preparing him for our separation,” he concludes. “You feel insecure because of Gwen’s presence.”

I don’t bother admitting or denying his allegations. His tender tone is making this all worse.

“Babe, I understand that you are uncertain and angry that I brought Gwen back, but…”

“But nothing, Xael. I would like to be alone, please leave,” I cut him off. Just hearing his mate’s name mentioned is making me angry.

He chuckles and tries to make eye contact, which I avoid. He does not get to read my mind. That is a privilege he no longer has.

“You are so hot when jealous. I missed you too.”

I hit his hand away when he tries to touch me. He thinks this is a joke. In a split second I am whisked to the bed and pinned under his body.

“Get off me, Xael!”

“You are pushing me away and shutting me out,” he accuses while his finger trails from my knee towards my thigh, pushing my dress up.

“You found your mate,” I remind him. Surely his wolf will reject whatever he has on his mind.

“Look into my eyes, Xena. I have not betrayed us. I never will. My vows to you are forever,” he pleads. I grab my dress, stopping him from exposing my thighs.

“Vows are broken all the time, Xael.”

“Just look into my eyes, Xena,” he pleads.

I look away. I don’t want to see him all loving with his mate. That look he gave her was enough for me to know my place.

“I need to speak to Diana,” he demands when I refuse to look at him.

“She does not want to talk to you.”

“Can you stop being stubborn and look at me!” he shouts, startling me. He never shouts at me. I guess I should not be surprised. Things have changed.

“Stop shouting!” Diana yells back and growls. I curse inside and try to suppress her. Xael might be my husband, but he is still the Alpha and does not tolerate disrespect.

He chuckles as if Diana did not just growl at him. That’s when it hits me that he did it on purpose to draw her out. It’s easy for him to get in my head when dealing with Diana. Argh, he is already in my head, but I refuse to look into his.

He clenches and unclenches his fists and shakes his head. I guess he now knows about the divorce papers in my bag. He has gotten off me before I could say anything and stormed towards bag I was carrying. I watch him tear the document into pieces before throwing it into a trash can.

“Not a word and you rush to this?” he asks. “The only deterrent you have is Xaden? What am I to you, Xena? If Xaden was not here, you would give up on us just like that?”

He asks a question after another and even sounds hurt as if I am the one who brought a mate into our pack.

“You found your mate, Xael. It would be best if we let go now before we hurt each other.”

He lets out a weak laugh and shakes his head. He is making me look unreasonable. It is infuriating. I don’t have to sit here and take his crap.

“You don’t trust me. Look into my damn head, Xena!” he uses his Alpha voice this time and I can’t disobey.

He holds me in place, forcing me to look at him. He forces me to read his mind. He is telling the truth. He has not done anything to betray us. If anything, he has straight out told Gwen not to expect anything more than shelter from our pack. I guess I should be happy, right?

“And?”

“You will choose her eventually. She is your mate.”

“You have seen the evidence, yet you are still like this. I guess I have to show you that I am all yours.”

His tone is provocative and lethal. It is enough to make me sit up and try to get away from him. I don’t feel like making up with him right now.

Diana is already won over. She’s impulsive but very simple. Just the confirmation that he did not cheat with his mate and she’s happy, but I am not.

I have lived long enough to see this happen. That is why I think divorce would be better for both of us.

“Xael,” I warn him when he pulls me back and starts undressing me. I have never been able to resist him, and he knows it. My failure rate in one hundred percent when Diana is on his side.

“I love you, Xena. You are my life.”

“But…”

He places his finger over my lips.

“Shhh. I missed my wife and crave for her like hell. Make love to your man.”

“Diana,” I turn to my stupid wolf because I am losing this battle.

“He did not betray us.”

“He has a mate,” I remind her while doing my best to block what he is doing to me. My resistance is futile without Diana. My panties are already damp, and I can’t block out Xael’s almost mythical naked nature.

“And he chose us.”

“Really, Diana? Has Clint chosen us too?”