Chapter 1: Already Married

(Zara’s Pov)

“Yes, yes, and yes again. For goodness' sake Celeste, I already said I'll be back soon. You need to stop crying now, okay”

I don't eavesdrop. I'm not the kind to stand behind doors and listen to people’s conversations without their knowledge. 

But when it’s your husband on the call, with a very low voice almost like a whisper, and his tone sounding very desperate, your feet stop even before your brain notices it.

Not only is he hiding to make a call, but he also mentioned another woman’s name. That alone made my feet stay rooted outside our half-open bedroom door. He is pacing as he tries to convince whoever it is on the other line and nothing prepares me for the next words that come out of his mouth.

“I already told you that it's nothing like that. Can't you understand?” His voice sounded short now. “If you would just give me some time, then I'll sort it out as soon as I'm back.”

The woman on the other end said something that made him stop pacing and pinch his nose before replying. 

“Nothing has changed. You're still my wife. We’re legally married.”

It would have been better if I had been hit by a truck because this one hit me harder than anything else. The shock from it made my legs tremble until I had to lean against the wall for support. 

What did he mean by he was already legally married to someone else when we were on our honeymoon?

I needed answers and I needed them now. I pushed the door open, making him stop his pacing and whatever he was about to say.

“Who is Celeste?” I asked in a very calm voice despite what I was feeling inside. There was no time to beat around the bush. 

Adrian froze and his eyes bulged before he quickly put on the cool mask I've gotten used to since I knew him. 

He dropped the call just as quickly as his facial expressions shifted. Not even saying goodbye.

“Zara...”

I lifted up my hand, stopping him mid-sentence. “I’m asking you who Celeste is. So answer that.”

“It’s no one important. Trust me,” he said, moving closer to me but I step back.

“It doesn't sound like it’s no one important if you're legally married to her. So I'm going to ask you again Adrian, with the hope that I heard you wrong the first time. Who is Celeste?”

He hesitated, running his hands through his hair, his eyes looking at everything except me as he continued moving from one end of the room to the other. Seeing that there was no way out, he finally spoke and I wish he hadn't.

“She’s my… my wife”

My heart stops beating as I stumble towards one of the chairs in the room. “Your wife? How? When?” I rub my temples trying to understand. “Wait. You're married? And you married me again?”

“Yes, but it's only on paper, Zara. It doesn't mean anything and she knows that I don’t love her,” he said, kneeling in front of me and holding my hands. “It’s not real.”

“It's not real? Are you serious? Can you even listen to yourself?” I quickly stand up to put some space between us.

“Yes, it's not. I love you and this…” he moves to me and takes my left hand where my wedding ring sits. ”is what’s real. I swear.”

I pull my hand from his and his face falls but it doesn't stop me. “Love?” I scoff. “Why didn't you tell me that you already had a wife before we said those vows to each other last weekend?”

“It's complicated, Zara. Please, understand me,” his voice rises as he speaks. He takes a deep breath before going on. “My father forced me into it. I didn't have a choice.”

I laugh like I have lost my mind. And maybe I have “But you had the choice and every opportunity to tell me before I wore that dress, before I walked down the aisle and let you put a ring on my finger,” I scream at him. “But you didn't. So you don't get to blame your father for that.”

“I’m sorry, baby. I'll fix this I promise,” he holds my face in his hands. “It's you I love and you know that.”

“You married another woman. You have a wife, Adrian,” I tell him. The tears were finally falling from my eyes.

“She means nothing to me,” he says as he kisses the tears from my cheeks, then from my eyes and he finally kisses me.

“I know you're mad at me and you have every right to be but please don't leave me, Zee. Let me make this right. Let me do right by you, please. Allow me to fix this.”

Our eyes are fixed on each other but I don't say anything.

“Don’t give up on our love, baby.” He continues kissing me. This time it's so intense. It's like he's trying to pour all his sincerity into the kiss and wipe away the last few minutes from the brain.

But a simple kiss can't erase the effects of the bomb he just threw down on me. It would take more than that.

I don't remember how we made our way to the bed. I was so lost in the moment. His kisses were like drugs to my senses. The way his hands hold my face so softly as the tears roll down and disappear between our moving lips.

I hate him but my body hasn't gotten it. And I hate how much I still crave him after he hurt me.

We move like drunk people. Holding on to something before we both crash. Except we already crashed a long time ago. His hands shake as they roam my body. I can taste the salt from tears. Is it mine? Is it his? I don't even know anymore.

Then suddenly, everything shifts. From slow, tender, and passionate to rough, intense, and desperate. To him, it may be make-up sex but to me, it's a burial. The last dirt on the grave.

He starts slowly and then later he's pounding into me. We’re groaning and moaning until we reach the peak and he slips out of me, panting.

He falls to the side, his heavy arms around my waist as he hugs me from behind. “I love you,” he says before falling asleep and breathing like he didn't just shatter my heart.

I didn't sleep. How could I when something else was burning in my mind? I lay quietly in the dark looking at the ceiling until I could no longer handle it.

I quietly unwrap his hands from my body and get out of bed. As soon as I am in the bathroom, I lock the door and open a cupboard where the hotel staff had left the box of pregnancy kits. A test I have been putting off since before the sham of a wedding we just had.

My hands are shaky as I open the box. I wanted to do the test now so the news could be a wedding gift to him. But standing now in the bathroom, I wasn't so sure anymore.

After following the instructions and peeing on the stick, the next five minutes felt like hours. And when I finally looked at the results, it confirmed what I already knew for a while now.

Two very clear lines stare back at me. I should be happy but it's difficult. Especially when the man isn't mine alone or even mine first.

I close my eyes as I whisper. “I am pregnant for a married man.”