Chapter 3: Fake Loss

(Zara’s POV)

Nobody likes the smell or atmosphere of clinics and I'm no exception. The disinfectant is so strong and the air is so tense and always ready to deliver bad news. One would think some good things don't happen there. Like the birth of a child. 

Not in my case though. I'm here to make sure my husband believes I took out our baby. That's why I showed up early at the clinic. You never know who he might know so the lesser chance of bumping into someone.

I've already fulfilled all the requirements; my name is on the appointment list, I have already filled out the basic information, and the nurse has been strictly told to say I've been seen, treated, and discharged in case Adrian calls. I know he is capable of finding out where I amand what I'm doing.

My baby is in good shape, safe, and alive. No one is going to touch them. So there will be no treating.

Seems he finally noticed my absence because he has been blowing up my phone with calls and messages.

Adrian: Where are you, Zee?

Adrian: Please, pick up your phone. I'm worried.

Adrian: This is not the way to fix things. Don't do something you'll regret.

Regret? The only regret I have is marrying him. I don't reply and just put my phone on silent.

As soon as I do that, the nurse calls my name and I follow her into the room to see the doctor. She checks my vitals, does the ultrasound which gives me much relief that my baby is okay. 

She fills out my file and I slide over a brown envelope containing money to ensure she keeps my secret. In return, she gives me a folder that has my false results. 

“The folder equally contains post-treatment instructions for you. Things you should and should not do for a while.” she lowers her voice to a whisper before she continues. “It would also require that you act weak for some days so it looks real. And please, no sex. Don't fail to remember that you're supposed to be healing.”

I nod and thank her for her help. I gradually walk outside and step into the sunny and hot weather. There's a black car sitting on the street and for a second, I think it's my secret helper. But no.

Adrian is pacing by the car. He stops when he notices me approaching. His jaw is clenched so hard like he's stopping himself from saying something. His hands are shaking but he buries them in his pockets. 

We just continue to glare at each other until he snaps. 

“Get in the car.” No softness in his tone as he turns and walks to his side.

I enter the car and once we close the doors, the tension and silence weigh heavily than before.

He is holding the steering she so tightly that I fear it will break. His knuckles are white, his eyes seem unfocused and he is driving so fast. Is he trying to kill us?

“Adrian slow down. Are you trying to get us killed?”

“I’m not like you. But what if I was? You already took away something precious from us,” his voice sounded broken.

“Stop the car. Now.” 

He does and it almost sends me flying through the windshield. I grip my chest in horror.

“Are you out of your mind?”

“Yes, I am out of my mind,” he shouts, and I squeeze my back to the door. 

I have never witnessed him behave so out of line.

“Why, Zara? Why did you do it?” he repeatedly slaps the steering wheel.

“It is what needed to be done. It was the right thing.” My voice was so calm.

“How can you be so calm right now? You didn't even make me understand that you already booked an appointment to kill our baby. Why didn't you tell me?”

I laughed but it sounded so fake and humourless. “What exactly would you have done if I told you? Wait, let me guess,” I acted like I was deep in thought. “Oh, I know. You would have bought me flowers or an expensive gift to try and convince me to keep the baby. No, Adrian. I don't want to a reason to be connected to you for the rest of my life. I don't want any more of your lies.”

The words sound unfamiliar to my ears as I say them. Because once upon a time, that was my lifelong dream. Not anymore.

“I married you because I love you and that baby was proof of our love for each other.”

“Your real wife can still give you a baby if you desperately want one.”

“She’s not my…” he stops mid-sentence and runs a hand down his face. “I haven't touched her since we got married. She's just that on paper. She's nothing but an arrangement and I won't let her carry my child.”

“Am I supposed to feel better based on what you just said?” I ask as I raise my brows.

“I’ll dissolve the marriage. I'll make it right again. For us.” His eyes are bloodshot and desperate.

My heart skips. “You can’t fix what's already dead.”

“Zara…”

“Just drive, Adrian. I need to rest,” I say, holding on to my stomach and closing my eyes like I'm in pain.

That shuts him up as he resumes driving. Once at the hotel, he quickly gets out to help me out of the car. I don't argue when he holds me and leads me to our room. I'm taking this acting so seriously.

When we get to the room, he helps me lie on the bed. “You should rest.”

He keeps his phone on the side table and then takes a seat at the foot of the bed, his head supported in his hands. His phone rings but he doesn't pick it up.

“Who is it? Aren't you going to answer it? Could be important.” My voice holds no emotion.

“Probably a wrong number,” he says quickly picking up the phone.

“How do you know that. It could be your wife calling to ask when you'll be back. You should answer it.” I sound bored.

He freezes for a second before leaving the room to take the call.

“Liar,” I whisper to myself after he leaves.

I take out my phone and reread the message from my anonymous sender.

Unknown: If you ever need an escape, reach out to me. No cost or strings attached.

Who could it be? Did they already know about the ‘wife’? It came before the honeymoon so they should know. But the real question is how did they find me and why do they want to help me? I just hope I'm not jumping into even deeper problems. Hope I'm not about to traffic myself. I’ll worry about that after I'm gone.

I can only hope I'll not be in too deep. Finally making a decision, I type my response with shaky fingers.

“I’m ready to disappear”

The answer comes almost immediately.

Unknown: Follow the instructions I’ll send. Nobody should know.

I lock my phone and lie back. I close my eyes and slow down my breathing just as Adrian returns and settles beside me. His fingers caressing my face.

“I’m sorry, my love. Deeply sorry for everything,” he says as he kisses my forehead.

My heart skips and my chest tightens. I want to be convinced. But I can't back out now.

‘I’m sorry too, Adrian.’ I whisper in my mind.