Try me, Lorain

He seemed stunned by what I said, but I don't regret any of it. I'm just telling the truth, in our six years of marriage, I didn't feel any love. Always alone, I feel like I'm locked in a big cage.

I endured everything because I loved him then...

He held me by both arms, "No, no. I promise you, it's different now. So please, Lorain.” His eyes look like they're about to cry, he’s begging, does he think that's all he needs to do for me to come back to him?

“Wow, I did not know you were this pathetic,” I whispered sarcastically.

“I don’t care what you say, I’m going crazy when I finally see you again. You left me, only your plants were left behind.”

What does he think of me? With just one word from him, I will rush back to him, make a fool of myself, and obey his family's wishes again.

“Enough, Jake!” I shouted and pushed him, "If you don't leave right now, I will call the security guard, I have no intention of entertaining what you are saying."

"Why? Because of the man with you earlier, so do you intend to have a relationship with him?" He asked me sarcastically.

I glared at him, why does he have to talk a someone who isn't even here? "So, what? Whatever we have, you don't need to care about it. What we had years ago is already done, your rights to me are long overdue."

"Tell me, Lorain. What I don't have that he has, I can give you everything!" I flinch when I feel his grip tighten.

"No, you can't!" I quickly shouted, not love nor comfort. I want to say all his shortcomings before, all the feelings I feel for years are slowly coming back to me. But I'm not hurt, instead the anger is burning in my chest.

"You feel empty? Is that really what you felt or maybe it's because you can't find a woman who will obey your family blindly, they are who won't let you know even if you cheat on me face to face." I said while poking his chest hard.

"I won't do it again, I will do everything you want. I can change myself, tell me what you don't want." His hands that were holding my arm gradually came down to my fingers and he played with them.

I quickly shook my head; do I need to say what he needs to change? If he wants me back with him, he better what to do. But it doesn’t mean that I will come back to him if he changes, though!

"Just leave, Jake," I said and tried to pull the hand that he was holding, I stepped away and looked him straight in the eye. "You and I are just business partners. Nothing more, nothing less.”

He was about to touch me again when someone knocked on the door, "Lorain, Raziel has something for you." His voice was irritated like a child being ordered by his older brother.

I looked at Jake for a moment, "go away, we're done talking." I said firmly and opened the door.

Craig looked at the man inside my room in shock but he didn't say anything else and just reached for the brown paper he was holding, "I didn't know you were with anyone, if I had known I wouldn't have disturbed you in the first place.”

"No, it's fine. He's about to leave, he just forgot to say something and give it earlier in the meeting so he bothered to come here."

"Is that so, then let me come inside. You can't be the only one who can get that food, you have no idea how hard to line up to buy this one." He said and went straight inside as if he didn't care about Jake.

"Y-you..." Jake was about to pull Craig to stop him from entering but I grabbed his hand.

"Mr. Andres, thank you for bringing the documents that were left behind. Now if you excuse us, we're about to eat or do you want to join?" I smiled at him but my eyes were glaring at him.

"We're not finished yet, Lorain. I won't stop until you become mine again, I won't easily let you go." He whispered and stormed off.

A few seconds passed before Craig spoke as he started to eat the fries, "Woah, is he your ex-boyfriend?" He asked and put his foot on the opposite seat.

I just shrugged and walked closer to him, "It's not important to talk, is it really from Raziel?" I took a friend's chicken from the bucket, spicy flavor?

"Of course not, do you think he will send you this kind of food." He said and took a siopao asado. "Aah, nothing beats the taste of this one, especially in the corner street."

"So, you just bought it all at the corner street?" I asked with a laugh, I also got some siomai after I finished one chicken.

"Well, even at that corner, I stood in line under the heat of the sun. Didn't you hear what I said earlier, by the way, you don't want chicken anymore?"

"Ah yes, I'm not that fond of spicy." He seems to have stopped.

"Oh sorry, it's just a hobby. Because I know a woman who likes spicy things," there was something in his smile that I couldn't explain, maybe his ex?

"Is that so? Hmm, let's get back to the conversation, why did you think of buying and bringing me food?" I wonder, I thought he did not like me.

"I saw you on CCTV, I just look like I don't care but I'm making sure all my customers are safe." He said proudly.

"Yeah, right." That's all I said and finished our meal.

The two of us were silent until we finished eating, like before it was still a bit awkward between us but not too much like back then.

"Thanks for the food," I said as he stood from the chair and was about to leave the room, he just nodded and left carrying the bucket of fried chicken with only two pieces left.

~

I threw myself on the bed after brushing my teeth, now I don't feel like going to work anymore because of what happened. My head hurts every time I remember what Jake said earlier, what went into his head.

Back to him?

I think he thinks too highly of himself if he thinks that until now, I still love him, if there's anything left in me now it's my hatred for their family. They considered me a piece of cloth to be thrown aside easily.

I will make sure that now, he will crawl towards me. If he wants to get me, he'll go through the hole of a needle…

I closed my eyes, and that's when I realized that wasn't the only problem. Jamie's face played over and over in my mind, can I do it even though I know that another heart will be hurt again...

But I can't stop now, if I want Jake to experience what I had when I was with him then this is the right time...

~

I woke up early, not because I had a meeting or something important to do, now I was not in the mood while sitting inside a coffee shop outside the hotel facing him. "What do you need, it's too early for you to ruin my day."

"I already told you, Lorain. I will not give up until you come back to me, when I bother you every day I will." He said seriously and sipped his coffee.

My eyeballs rolled in irritation, "and how many times do I have to tell you that I won't come back to you? What can I gain from someone like you, I might even get sick from you for the number of women you have slept with." I said annoyed.

"I haven't slept with anyone, Lorain since you left." He lowered the cup and held my hand, "don't you believe that I'm willing to change for you?"

Change, will he change now? Maybe if I go home poor like then, he won't pay attention to me, thanks to Ms. Hilton's money.

"Let's stop fooling each other, Jake. We both know that you can't live without sleeping with women every day, right and you even bring some of them home to your house before." I added sarcastically.

I can count on one hand how many times he touched me in our six years of marriage, I never saw him get excited every time we did it. He seemed to be struggling, hardly wanting to see my face or hear my moans.

"That used to be, Lorain. I can promise you, I will only be doing it with you.” He said but I quickly pulled my hand he was holding and looked at him with disgust.

"Sorry to burst your bubbles, Jake, but I never dreamed of doing that with you again. In the years I've been gone, do you think I haven't done that with another man? I met several men and I don't think you will be satisfied with that yours."

I foolishly looked at his pants before standing up, "I will leave now, thanks for the coffee."

"Try me, Lorain." He stopped me, "Why don't we try it if I really can't satisfy you." He looked at me hard.