Prologue

I am now sitting in the living room facing a man I only met today, he is wearing a suit while carrying a black bag. "I'm sorry for being late, Mrs. Andres.” He said politely while taking out an envelope from his bag and handing it to me.

I already have an idea of what it is but I can't stop the pain in my chest, as if something is squeezing my heart. my cold and trembling hand slowly reaching out and opening the paper he gives to me.

"You can check the agreement, Mrs. Andres. If there's something you don't like, we can change it immediately the way you want, also, if the amount you will get is not enough then, I can also increase it to your satisfaction." He casually said without thinking, “But that is all I can do, so please cooperate.”

I bit my lower lips hard until I could feel the pain to hold back the tears that wanted to fall from my eyes, "w-won't he even see me and at least talk about this?"

I was ashamed…

I was ashamed of myself as I heard my voice still obviously desperate for his attention.

Even though I am holding the proof right now that he does not want me in his life, I’m still pathetically trying to talk to him.

He seems shocked by the question I ask, he becomes silent for a moment before answering, "That's... I'm sorry, Mr. Andres is on a business outing at the moment." Pity, I can see it in his eyes.

I can’t help but want to laugh at myself, even other people can see how pitiful I am in this situation.

I nod as if I understand what he said, but no… I don't understand why I have to be in front of another man in this kind of situation, why? Isn’t better that he’s the one handing me this paper, asking me to sign it?

I took out the paper from the brown envelope, trying to read what was written there but I could barely see anything. My eyes are blurry because of the tears that are slowly falling from it.

Six years.

For six years I spent my whole life loving him. I hope in the six years we have been together that he will have feelings for me genuinely, and will look at me with full of love.

But why did it not happen? I'm like a used rag right now that he’s thrown aside. He can barely face me, isn't it enough that he wants to break the marriage with me… Am I that worthless to him to not take the time to see last time even in this situation?

"Mrs. Andres, once you have signed this agreement, you have nothing to worry about. The freedom and life you had before meeting him, you can go back to it. I will take care of processing the divorce paper in which country you got married," he handed me a black ballpoint pen, "here."

Bitter laugh scape from my mouth because of what I hear from him, how can I go back to my old life if my system is full of him?

I sit quietly and hold the ball pen tightly, if this is what he wants there is nothing I can do... I have no use in his life, I am sure he is happy with the woman he wants to be with genuinely.

Now it became clearer to me why he always put a wall between us... There will be a time will come when he will make me sign a divorce paper agreement...

I carefully signed my name and smiled fondly at the lawyer in front of me, "Thank you." Why am I even thankful? All I could do was look at my trembling hands.

The mark of the ball pen is still on my finger, a sign of the tightness of my grip, there is also a little ink left there as proof that I have signed the paper.

"Alright, thank you. Mrs. Andres... Or should I call you, Ms. Santos now?” He hesitantly asks me.

Hearing him calling me Ms. Santos sounded so foreign to me, it’s been so long since I heard my surname, "everything is fine," I replied briefly without looking at him, my eyes were now focused on the flowers in the garden.

I don’t know what to do with it, I'm sure no one will take care of them.

"Oh! Alright, I will take my leave, then." He bowed and started walking out of the house, I did not even put an effort to walk him out. I stayed in my chair and waited to hear the sound of the door proof that he left.

I took a deep breath.

Even though I was still in shock and had no energy to move, I slowly walked towards the room where I often sleep alone, I slowly laid my body down and hugged the pillow that smelled of him...

Again, the tears began to flow out until the pillow was completely wet. I let each of my sobs echo in the four corners of the room, hoping that this way would ease my feelings.

"I love you." I whispered tightly hugging his pillow, "I love you so much, Jake. Very much.”

~

It took me hours lying in bed in a daze before I regained the strength to stand up, I began to gather my few belongings from the bed and slowly folded them to put in my suitcase.

I just noticed that I don't have many things here that I call my own, in the six years I've lived here it seems like nothing has been added to the things I brought when I first came here.

I stopped what I was doing when I saw my reflection in the big mirror, with messy hair and swollen eyes. I'm wearing a baggy T-shirt and jean shorts, maybe this is one reason why he can't wait to break the marriage with me...

It didn't even take an hour to pack my things in the suitcase, there's no reason for me to spend more time in a house that I can no longer call ours...

I don't know where I'm going, after all, I grew up in an orphanage... I don't have a home to go back to when I leave here, I don't have another family to lean on...

He's the only one I can call family, the person who gave me a place I can call home... But now that he's abandoning and thrown me out of his life, it's over, I'm back to being alone.

I only took one last glance before the taxi finally arrived, “Hello, good day ma’am! Please get in, where can I take you?"

I first looked at my cellphone, the money written in the agreement I signed earlier had already been sent to my account. He paid me for staying with him for six years as if I were his maid who received her last payment. I smiled bitterly, "airport."

Six years is enough.