Not Safe

When I wake, I am lying on a bed.

I sit up quickly, my breath uneven as confusion floods my mind, but before I can gather my thoughts, a wave of heat crashes through me again, almost overwhelming my senses. Not again.

The memory of everything that happened on the field returns all at once, leaving me shaken.

“What is happening to me?” I whisper, my voice trembling. “What was that?”

Who brought me here? I had lost consciousness, and…

I look down at myself and realize I am still wearing the same clothes from earlier, but nothing feels the same. My body is still sensitive, still burning, and shame creeps in slowly as I remember what I did.

Xaden had touched me.

I had reached for him.

I had almost- My chest caves. No.

That was not me.

It cannot be me. And this arousal thing happening to my body-heat or whatever- if Xaden trying to trigger a wolf out of me was what caused it, then it is better I leave here.

He stays in the next room. And I’ve also realized I scent things- things that makes me feel…drawn to him whenever he’s in sight.

I don’t know much about werewolves but I’ve heard about heat and what happens when you meet your mates. A wolf in heat needs her mate, and if I was a wolf, I would have thought Xaden…is my…mate? Because the attraction I felt towards him earlier was nothing short of damning.

I wanted him close than I want to live. But I am human and not meant to have a mate. Whatever happened out there, the fire and all. It was him. It was his curse.

But why do I still feel tingles all over? I need to leave here. I will tell Alpha Soren I can’t do this. I will face the consequence.

Remembering how Zolya had almost torn my throat earlier was enough a reason. Just two days in here, and I’m already attracting chaos to myself. There is also Liam who had told me to watch my back. Lucky to have not come across him today. I won’t have to.

I just have to escape before I lose this battle to them.

I need to bath.

The moment I try to stand, the door opens.

I freeze as Luna Gwen steps inside, her presence changing the room atmosphere immediately. “You are awake,” she says as she closes the door behind her and walks toward me, her boots clicking against the marble floor.

I force myself to stay still, to hide the way my body still reacts, to push the sensation down even though it refuses to disappear completely.

She sits beside me, gaze on me. I swallow a lump down my throat.

“Why am I in…Karen’s room?” I ask before she can say anything I’m not ready to hear. She might have pretended to others like what happened earlier on that field was normal, but I didn’t trust that she wouldn’t want me to bear consequences in private.

She looks at me, and the expression on her face shows she’s not expecting that question.

“You know about Karen?” She asks.

“I was there when Darian…”

“Oh, true.” She interrupts, remembering that I was in her office yesterday when Darian came to report her death and she had instructed him to bring me to her room.

She sighs. “All you need to know is, you can’t stay in the dorm with other wolves yet. Not when I’m not sure they won’t rip you apart in your sleep. This is the only room I can keep you safe in for now. I promised your mother to keep you safe since she stopped working here and can’t do that herself.”

Oh, now I’m getting the clearer picture of it. Hannah’s mother used to work here. The two must have been very close.

I have a lot of questions but I can’t be asking about ‘who was meant to be my mother’ without exposing myself.

“Who was…Karen?” I find myself asking.

Her onyx eyes narrows at me intimidatingly, even though she might not intend to scare me. It looks like she’s trying to battle with her own emotions internally.

“She was supposed to be Xaden’s mate.”

I tense.

“We haven’t found his true mate yet. They all keep lying, just to be future Luna, claiming they feel connections with my son. I’m not sorry for their deaths.”

She says, and truly, she doesn’t look sorry.

Before I can say anything, she beats me to it.

“Your wolf is different,” she says. “I knew that much. But losing control like that, allowing yourself to fall into heat so publicly… that was unexpected.”

My heart drops. She’s finally talking about me.

She continues, “We do not usually involve parents during first years, because in here, we are the parents. Students don’t get to contact anyone outside the academy unless there is a real need for it, but your situation is an exception.”

Cold fear coils in my chest. “What…what do you mean?”

“I will contact your mother, Hannah.” she says calmly, her tone contrasting the authority she used on others in that field earlier. “She will bring your mate here so that he can help your heat subside. You do have a mate right? You are nineteen.”

No, I’m twenty. But I don’t correct her. That’s Hannah’s age.

I nod, even though fear is threatening to double me over.

I can’t afford to panic in front of her but If they contact Hannah’s mother…

Everything will be over.

My secret will be exposed.

They will know I am not Hannah. They will know I am not even one of them.

And worst of all- they will kill me before dawn.

I am trapped.