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CRAVING ISABELLA 083.
ISABELLAThe voice is so deep, but it isn't the one I have been playing on a loop in my head for years. It's not Noah. It's someone else. Someone else knows my sizes. Someone else knows my address and knows my name. The dress slips from my fingers and pools on the floor. Chloe's eyes are wide, and her hand is near the phone's end-call icon. I will myself to speak even though I'm at a loss for words. I'm just an adult who's almost graduating from college. I don't know if I'll even have a steady job by then. My family is nothing to care about. My life is absolute trash. I don't understand if you get my point. I mean... I'm this girl without that one special trait that makes people stare or obsess. I don't qualify for this. I'm not supposed to be getting stalked! I'm not supposed to be receiving gifts from unknown people and getting orders to be at a ball. I'm just me. Isabella. So why? What does this deep-voiced man want from me?"Who are you?" "Isabella," the voice continue
CRAVING ISABELLA 082.
ISABELLA "I'm done! I'm actually done, Bella!" She begins to pace the room, biting her bottom lip hard, her fingers tapping against her temple... a habit she only displays when she thinks I'm being stupid. "What if Noah disappoints you?" "What if he doesn't?" I counter. Chloe stops pacing and whirls around to face me. "What if he’s really engaged to be married, Isabella? What if he’s spent the last few years building a life that doesn't have a single square inch of space for you? What if he doesn't even remember your name?" I scowl at her. "You know that is not true." "I don't know who he is anymore!" Chloe shouts. "He’s... different. I’m sure you haven't even looked him up on social media since the day he left. You don’t know what he looks like, who he hangs out with, or what kind of person he’s become. You just keep clinging to this... hope that he cherishes you and all that 'forever' stuff." "Believe me, he is not the same Noah you once knew. You’d be surprised at how much
CRAVING ISABELLA 081.
ISABELLAAfter I moved out of Noah's apartment back then, I moved in with my parents. I worked three different jobs in addition to Leo's. Every cent I didn't spend on basic necessities went toward that rent. I couldn't live there anymore... but I couldn't let it go.The note is still safe. It's still tucked inside the pages of my favourite book. Pages 127 and 128. Why wouldn't I keep it safe? I have to. It's proof for me. Whoever wrote this note wanted me to think that Noah left me for some opportunity abroad. He doesn't have any family there. He wouldn't just go there. "Earth to Isabella," I blink, my eyes falling on Mia before travelling up to the semi-circle of faces surrounding me. Chloe, Chase, and Derek. Right. I think I zoned out. Like I went out of this world into another. I always do that, so I know they don't think I'm crazy. Only, today their eyes are watching me. Makes me understand the whole reason why they wanted to hang out in the first place. This is one of those mee
CRAVING ISABELLA 080.
ISABELLA"I'm not arguing. I just... worry about you. We all worry about you. Ever since he left, you haven't been the same, and you know it. You keep hiding the way you truly feel behind little things. You enjoy the little happiness that comes from small things. We are worried about you, Bella.""You don't worry about people who are fine."Chloe finally turns, running a hand through her hair. "Fine. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for saying it like that. And for worrying about my best friend."I watch her closely. "That will work." I smile reluctantly. Mostly because I do not have the sheer strength to argue. Or to be taught. Or to be lectured about what I already know. I don't need any of that."Yeah. Where is she going?" She nods to Nadia who has toddled over to the couch, attempting to climb it. She lets out a little grunt when she slips, then she tries again. I move to her, lifting her easily and settling her on the cushion. "There my love," I murmur, as she beams at me. Chloe rolls her
CRAVING ISABELLA 079.
Three Years Later.ISABELLAI'm staring at the fresh ink on my thigh, with a content smile on my face. It's an infinity symbol. Very small, compared to the ink I've got on my back. I wonder what Derek will say when he sees this one. He always has something to say.My hair, now longer and darker than it was at nineteen, falls forward, shielding my face as I lean down to inspect the work. At twenty-two, my face has lost its soft roundness. All I can see when I look at the mirror are sharp edges and distant eyes.Suddenly, a pair of hands clap onto the shoulder. "Boo!"I jump, looking up to see Chloe's grinning face. In her arms is a toddler with curls and chubby cheeks. I grin at Nadia. She looks so much like her mother even at two. Yes. Nadia is Chloe and Leo's daughter. Those two really went all in when they had this little girl. "Got you," Chloe says."You are the worst," She steps forward, drops Nadia on the floor and wraps one arm around me carefully. "You look good, bestie." She
CRAVING ISABELLA 078.
ISABELLAThe sunlight filtering through the gaps in the curtains is too bright, and for the first time in weeks, I don't want to hide from it. I stretch out across the sheets. My body feels heavy, but in a good way... relaxed, cherished, aglow. Last night was fun, hot and definitely going to be repetitive. I smile, reaching out a hand to the other side of the bed, expecting to feel his heat. Empty. The sheets are cold.I sit up, pushing my hair out of my face with a small smile. Of course, he's probably in the kitchen, I think. Noah's little gestures are what make him a better man. I groan, sliding out of bed and grabbing one of his discarded flannels from the floor and slipping it on. It swallows me whole.I head to the bathroom first, humming under my breath. After brushing my teeth and worrying about my bleeding gums, I turn the shower on, letting the steam fill the room as I catch my reflection in the mirror. My lips are slightly swollen, and there’s a faint bruise on my collarb
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