…Tyler POV…
Jenna, when I think about you, I understand what the Hollies meant when they sang, "Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe and to love you."
Our love life can be rivaled to the 4th of July fireworks.
I still love you and I always will.
I have spent my life believing in Love. My heart has been beaten, my heart has been ripped, it has been stamped on, and more than once as you know. But I kept on believing. Because I love Love because I consider life not worth living if you don’t allow your heart to pound.
And it is pounding and it is being pounded on, and you turned it all upside down. My schedule, my emotional comfort zone, my whole life. I couldn’t understand what was going on, and really I didn’t want to understand. I didn’t try to plan ahead, I didn’t want to build false hopes, for the very first time in my life I completely let go.
I really fell in love…
Lovin
…Jenna POV… You can't have healing without sickness. Your body can stand almost anything; it is your mind that you need to convince. It is two weeks today. Two weeks. Fuck. Time is just gone. It is two weeks since the chemo has started, and I am getting really sick. I am still trying to convince myself that my body can win this. But each day, as I look in the mirror and I see something new that is slipping away, I am losing hope. The only one that is not losing hope is Tyler. It is you that are fighting for both of us. You have been there beyond what is even required. From the moment I met you, I knew I'd love you forever, that you were something precious, perfect. After four months of marriage, I still get butterflies when looking into your eyes. You've made me a better person, given me a more fulfilled life, and you've given me a happiness that I didn't know existed. Our lives have changed immensely since that frightening, confusing, life-ch
It is 11 AM; it is another seven hours to go.Tyler is holding my hand so tight that it is becoming numb. He has dozed off and looks so peaceful as he is sleeping. I do not want to wake him up; he has not had a decent night's rest in what seems to be ages. He stays up every night, every day; he is awake almost every waking moment looking after me. He needs these few moments.I am writing this letter as a token of my love to him, as a keepsake for him to treasure, and as a reminder of my commitment to us and our life together."To my dear husband,I want you to know that I love you, ALL OF YOU, and I always will. I am committed to our marriage until death does us part. At times, in moments of deep frustration, I may have questioned otherwise, but that was my immature way of seeking love from you when I should have been looking for you to fill the void in my temporarily wandering heart.Beloved, I know I have hurt you countless times with
…Tyler POV…It has been two hours. Two hours. Fuck. Time is just going by. It is only six hours to go. I am still trying to convince myself that my body can win this. But each time, as I look in the mirror and I see something new that is slipping away, I am losing hope.The only thing that is not losing hope is Jenna. She is fighting for both of us. She is here beyond what is even required.From the moment I met her, I knew I'd love her forever, that she was something precious, perfect. After three months of marriage, I still get butterflies when I look into her eyes. She has made me a better person, given me a more fulfilled life, and given me a happiness that I didn't know existed.Our lives have changed immensely since that frightening, confusing, life-changing day. That morning was normal, happy. We had everything going for us. It almost feels like our lives went on pause and have been on pause ever since. It all happened so fast.
…Jenna POV...Three hours have passed; we have five to go until they take Tyler away.It is five hours that I dread, it is ticking by slowly, and with each ticking second, it is crushing my heart slowly. I don’t know how much longer I can hold it together. I am putting my best face forward for Tyler, but I think he can see the fear crumbling in my eyes.What has gone from saying that he does not want to leave me, he is not apologizing. Yet I need to remind him, “Baby, this is not your fault.”“But…”“No, but if it is anyone’s fault here, then it is mine. If I did not make such a mess up in my past, then it would not have come back to haunt me, but most of all, then you would not have gotten hurt.”And as he goes silent, I know that he is playing that day over in his head. I cannot even begin to imagine how much it must haunt him. He has not yet spoken to me about what exactly happ
…Tyler POV…Don't stop believing in yourself, no matter what happens.This is what I repeat in my head over and over as four hours have now passed; the next four hours seem like it is only total agony as we wait in anticipation.The fear that I felt four hours ago has not changed but for a moment. I am still terrified, and I am shocked to horror at what the outcome might be. Yes, I still fear that I will not come back as soon as they put me under. One cannot help but feel this; it is just human; we think the worst before the best even happens.But yes, time has been going by faster than we would have wanted, time spent with bad memories and, do I even dare to say, regrets.We got married three months ago today; Jenna has not said a word, I would love to believe that she has not forgotten, yet I know that we both have so much on our mind at present. But yes, three months ago, we stood across from each other, on literally the hottest fr
…Jenna POV…"Accept it. At some point, you are going to have to accept that this is not your fault. There is nothing that you can do about it."What else you can do nothing about is that five hours have passed, and the next three is dreaded even more than the hour beforeBut, what I can do, is tell you how I feel about you…you this illness…this thing that is tearing us apartYou infiltrate so many lives; how could you remember the details of Tyler’s? I do not remember you entering our thoughts. You were not in our vision at all. You can come to us in shock, all grades of your aggressiveness. I will give it to you; you totally took us by surprise and caught us out!Tyler has one hell of a fight on his hands against you. It is taking all he has to fight. You tear at his body; you mess with his mind; you make him, at times, doubt his desire to carry on fighting you, but trust me when I say that those doubts are moment
…Tyler POV…"It is time to forgive myself. There is nothing that I could have done differently."That is what Jenna says.We have just passed the sixth hour; time is getting so much closer now. In only but a blink, the last two hours will be gone, and I will be facing my fate and future.Things have become quiet; there are long uncomfortable silences between Jenna and me. At times I fear that our marriage is not going to survive, but I think, in fact I know, that there are more times that I believe that I am not going to survive.I have been trying to speak to Jenna about making peace with the possibility that I might not be around for much longer. But she wants to hear nothing of it.I am getting worse.This might have been my purpose, my lesson. But I am not sure what lesson I was supposed to have learned.It confuses me; I pray and ask why. Why had this had to happen to me? I am young and am supposed to have a
…Jenna POV…In front of me, I have Tyler fast asleep. We have been waiting for seven hours now; this last hour will be absolute tormented torture for us. Our faith and our love have been tested today, and it is not yet near close to being over.Who is more scared at this very moment is left to be seen. But apart from the fear of the unknown, not knowing what to say next, I know that there is only one thing in life that I care about the most.And that is Tyler.So I gently take his hand into mine and whisper to him,"You are the only precious thing in my life.”I hold his hand close to my heart, then I continue to speak in a hushed voice to him, “There's no moment that I don't think about you. I've always wished to experience that kind of love shown in movies, not knowing I was a step closer to experiencing it. It's so great to finally have someone as beautiful as you are to enjoy life with. You're my push, my streng