Chapter 2 "Moving Forward"

Arwena sighed as she held her cup of coffee, soaking in the silence—far from the people who had hurt and shattered her life. After breaking down and hitting her head in the bathroom during her last conversation with Jake, she finally woke up to reality.

She realized that no matter what she did, the pain Jake and Farah had planted in her heart and mind wouldn't easily disappear. She could no longer fake smiles or surround herself with the people responsible for her suffering.

And so, here she was, bravely moving to another country, trying to start anew, far away from those who had hurt and crushed her. But despite her efforts, the pain still lingered within her. She hadn’t fully freed herself from the anger.

"My goodness, Arwena, you've been here for two months and still haven't done anything different. All you do is drink coffee and watch the waves, over and over again. Aren’t you tired of it yet?"

She glanced briefly at her friend, took another sip of coffee, then turned her gaze back outside, exhaling repeatedly as the cold breeze touched her cheeks.

"Didn't you say you wanted to forget? That’s why you came here to Maine. But how can you forget if you keep reminding yourself of everything that happened?"

She offered a bitter smile, closed the window, and turned to face Archie—her friend, who never seemed to tire of scolding her every time he caught her staring blankly while clutching her coffee cup. So lost in thought, she hadn’t even noticed his arrival, only to find herself caught once again in a daze.

“Good evening, Arc,” she greeted him, sitting on the couch across from him.

“Arwena, go outside. Enjoy yourself. Don’t waste your time just staring out the window.”

"Archie, just because I don’t go out doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying myself. I do enjoy looking at the vast ocean,” she reasoned, causing Archie to frown.

He had invited her out countless times during their free days, but she always declined. She preferred the comfort of staying home to going out and facing reminders of her past.

Aside from the betrayal of her boyfriend and best friend, she couldn’t stop thinking about Mr. Tan too. She often recalled how he had comforted her, allowing her to release all her pain that night, but it had come at the cost of giving herself to him.

"Yes, the ocean is lovely to watch, but you’d enjoy it more if you were outside, Arwena. You’d feel more freedom, and it would help you heal faster,” Archie said, pointing to her heart.

Arwena gave another bitter smile. "Just because I am inside doesn’t mean I haven’t moved on, Archie," she replied seriously.

She acted as if she were fine as if she had moved on and the wounds in her heart had healed. But Archie could sense that no matter how much she pretended, she was still hurting.

"As long as you keep thinking about them and the bad things that happened, you’ll never move on, Arwena."

She scratched her head and sighed. "You know what? The more you scold me, the harder it is to forget. You keep reminding me." She glared at him and set her empty cup down.

"And now you're blaming me! You might be able to fool yourself, but not me; no matter how much you smile, I can see through it. You’re only pretending to be okay, but inside you're still broken."

Arwena looked down. She had been caught. She knew her words didn’t match her actions. It was obvious—she was still pretending. She was still in pain.

"I'm not saying I’m fully okay, Archie. I'm just starting—"

"No, Arwena, you haven’t even started. People who truly want to move on take action. They don’t just sit around—they find ways to let go and move forward. Help yourself. I’m here, ready to support you, but you keep pushing me away."

“Pushing you away? Did you propose or something?"

"Don’t change the subject, Arwena. You always do this. You always avoid the truth when I call you out."

After Archie’s long lecture, Arwena had no more excuses. He knew her very well. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t escape the truth.

"I know you understand what I’m saying, Arwena. If you don’t want me to help you, at least help yourself. Find a way to move on. Don’t just sit there staring out the window and drinking coffee.”

“This is the only way I know,” she sighed.

Back in the Philippines, she had never been one to go out much, so Jake and Farah often spent time together. She assumed they were simply exploring as friends, blissfully unaware that they were discovering something far deeper.

Archie took her hand and gave her a serious look. “Come on, Arwena. Go out, even just once in a while. Don’t lock yourself away in here. Come with me tonight. Let’s explore and have fun. There’s a new club that just opened near us,” he said with a grin, gently shaking her arm.

“Archie, I understand what you’re trying to do. I know you truly care for me, and that’s why you’re pushing me to go out. But you also know I have trauma from what happened, right? I don’t want to experience that again.”

Archie moved to sit beside her, draping an arm around her shoulders and gently rubbing her back. “I know what you went through was no joke, but didn’t you say you wanted to uplift yourself? How can you do that if you’re the one pulling yourself down?"

Arwena stared at her friend. His serious expression softened her. She couldn’t deny that he was right.

"Arwena, don’t make things harder for yourself. It’s time for you to move forward, just like the people who hurt you are moving on with their lives after trampling on you.”

“Archie, I can’t force myself to be okay right away. I also can’t force myself to stop feeling the pain."

Archie pulled her into a hug, knowing she was holding back tears.

“You’re the best, Archie. Even though we’ve only been friends for two months, I can feel how much you care for me."

"And you're incredible too, Arwena. The issue is that you can't see it because the pain is blinding you. Stop dwelling on it. It's time to release it, embrace your strength, and truly move forward—this time, for real."

Arwena just stared at him. She was truly grateful to have met Archie. Without him, her time in Maine would have been unbearably lonely.

Her parents hadn’t supported her decision to leave, especially after they found out about her issues with Jake. They thought she was running away from her problems. In the end, she still hid the real reason for the breakup.

Even though she knew it would hurt them, she stood firm in her decision to leave. And while she made it to Maine, she felt like she was carrying the weight of the world.

She felt lost, unsure of where to begin. That was until she met Archie at the university, where he was also studying. Thanks to him, finding a place to stay became effortless, as he had been searching for a roommate.

“Archie...” She gave him a serious look. “Do you want to take our friendship to another level?” she asked, leaving Archie speechless.

“What do you mean?” Archie stammered as Arwena slowly leaned closer to his face.

“Arwena, what are you doing? Stop messing with me like that!” he shrieked, standing up and flipping his hair. “Eww... Arwena, you’re giving me goosebumps! Gross! We’re not a match, okay?”

Arwena shook her head. Archie was undeniably handsome, but he had the heart of a woman.

"Archie, go ahead and have fun. Don't worry about me. I’m fine just staying here inside. I can think more clearly, and my heart is healing," Arwena said, pointing to her chest and giving a sweet smile.

"I get it; you're used to locking yourself here. But please, just for tonight, come with me, Arwena. Let's have fun and move on together," Archie replied.

"Move on again?" Arwena asked, shaking her head.

"Arwena," Archie said, sitting beside her and taking her hand. His expression was pleading, even squinting his eyes a little.

"Stop that, Archie, or I might kiss you," Arwena teased, pulling her hand away and moving back.

"Arwena, you’re full of nonsense," he said, pouting and crossing his arms. "Let’s go out, Arwena. Let’s party. We’ll start moving forward by going out. Let’s forget everything—the cruelty of the world and all the pain, even if just for one night."

"Archie, staying home is my way of moving forward. First, I need to get to know myself and heal my heart. Once I’m okay, then I’ll go out and explore with you," Arwena explained.

"There's nothing I can do if that's what you want. But what about me? Don't you want to be with me? Aren't you going to help me move on? What if I got drunk and someone messed with me, like what happened to you?"

"Enough with the talking. I’ll go with you. You’re so persistent," Arwena said, a bit tired.

Archie smiled triumphantly, even clapping his hands with joy.

"Okay, get dressed. I’m going to get ready too," he said, running to his room while Arwena stood but was reluctant to move.

The two friends went to a newly opened club. After months of sulking, this was the first time Arwena had experienced drinking, dancing, and laughing again. She admitted she felt free. She felt happiness as she danced with her friend.

"Isn’t this fun?" Archie asked while they were on the dance floor, moving to the beat of the music.

Arwena nodded repeatedly and smiled.

"So, we’re going out every Friday night from now on?" he whispered.

"Yes, we’re going to keep doing this!" Arwena responded enthusiastically and started dancing again, bouncing with the other young people.

"Archie, let’s sit down for a bit. I’m feeling a little dizzy," she said, holding her head.

"Arwena, don’t tell me you’re drunk already. You’ve only had one cocktail!" Archie said, helping her back to their table.

"I don’t know. I feel dizzy and a little nauseous," Arwena replied, standing up and covering her mouth.

"Arwena..." Archie followed her as she ran to the ladies' room, but she suddenly stopped and leaned against the wall. "Wena, let’s just go home... W-Wena!" Archie shouted when Arwena lost consciousness in his arms.