Fragment Of My Imagination

***

~~~CHASE~~~

***

Seeing her makes my heart flutter. I can't look away. 

It’s insane, I know. 

It’s like seeing a fragment of my imagination come to life, standing just a short distance away from me.

“Chase, you don’t know her. You’re seeing her for the first time. You can’t fall in love with someone you’ve just met.” That’s what anyone would say if I told them what’s happening to me.

But the crazy part is, I’ve seen her before.

In my dreams.

She keeps appearing in them, so often that I finally started drawing her. I can still picture the sketch tucked away in my room, the face I couldn’t explain and the eyes I somehow remembered. And now she’s here.

She exists.

I’m not sure whether that should comfort me or scare me.

I’ve been having those dreams for months. At first, I thought they were random, the kind of nonsense your brain makes when you’re stressed. Then they kept returning. Same face. Same eyes. Sometimes she was standing in a forest; sometimes she was reaching for me, but I always woke before I could touch her. 

I drew her because I was afraid I’d forget her. I never showed the sketch to anyone, not even Zac. How could I explain that I kept dreaming about someone who didn’t exist? And now, she does.

The day I became captain, I wasn’t even trying to impress anyone.

We’d just finished practice, and the team was still scattered across the rink when Brian Augustine skated into the middle of the ice. He was our captain then, and I’d never liked the way he played. He was talented enough, but he treated everyone like they were beneath him. 

“Looks like you’re all a bunch of pussies!” he shouted, spreading his arms. “Who wants to take me on? One-on-one. Beat me, and you can ask for anything you want.”

I stayed near the boards, trying to take my gloves off. I liked being one of the players. No attention, no responsibilities, no coach expecting me to do anything. I was good on the ice, but I’d spent years making sure Coach never saw just how good.

If he did, I knew he’d give me some important position.

No, thank you.

“Chase will go!” Zac shouted.

I turned on my best friend. “What the hell, Zac?”

Every head swung toward me. Brian’s grin widened as he glided closer. “Come on, pussy. Show me what you’ve got.”

Zac gave me a thumbs-up like he hadn’t just volunteered me for public humiliation.

I could refuse. That would be sensible. But there was one thing about me: when I wanted something, I usually found a way to get it.

And I’d wanted to humiliate Brian for a long time.

I tightened my skates, pulled my gloves back on, and pushed away from the boards. The team started clapping as I skated toward the centre, stick in hand.

Brian leaned closer. “Chase Parker. What would you do without your daddy being the mayor of this town?”

I pulled my helmet on. “Shut up and play.”

“Oh, he talks!” Brian announced, earning a few laughs. He waved one of his friends over to drop the puck and act as referee. Then he fixed me with a glare meant to make an ordinary person shit their pants.

I wasn’t ordinary. I’d spent years living with things I couldn’t explain, dreaming about things I couldn’t tell anyone. I’d learned to keep my demons quiet, even when they clawed at the inside of my head.

“You’re about to shit your pants, Parker,” Brian sneered. “Run now before the punk—”

The puck dropped before he could finish. The whistle cut through the rink, and I moved.

I took the puck before Brian could react, darted past him, and sent it straight into the goal. For a moment, the rink went silent. Then the team erupted.

I circled back, hardly breathing hard. Brian stared at me with his mouth hanging open. 

“Did you get possessed or something?” he shouted. “I wasn't ready. What the hell was that?”

Maybe. Maybe not.

The whistle blew again.

We played six rounds. I scored every time. Brian didn’t score once. By the end, he was bent over, breathing hard, while I stood there hardly breaking a sweat.

How had this guy ever become captain?

We’d played together since junior year. We scored now and then, sure, but winning was another story. Our opponents always took the victory home, and we’d earned the nickname Always the Losers.

“Parker!” I turned. Coach stood beside the rink, watching me with an expression I couldn’t read. “Good job,” he said.

Brian skated toward me, anger tightening his face. “So, what do you want?”

What did I want? 

Nothing. I didn’t want a title or a spotlight. Being the mayor’s son already brought more attention than I could stand. I was popular at school, and my on-and-off relationship with Brianne Spokesman made me even more of a topic for gossip.

“The captaincy,” I heard myself say.

The words came out before I could stop them. 

Brian laughed. “You don’t mean that.”

Zac skated between us. “You heard him. The captaincy. You haven’t led us to a win. Maybe Chase can.”

Coach lifted the megaphone he used to shout across the rink. “If Parker wants the captaincy, give him the fucking captaincy!”

“But, Coach—”

“Brian, you heard me. Parker, see me in my office.”

And just like that, I became captain because I’d accepted a dare. Thanks, Brian Augustine.

Coach congratulated me in his office, but his curiosity made me shift in my seat.

“I’ve never seen you play like that before,” he said. “Why have you been hiding it?”

“I didn’t know I had it in me,” I lied.

He laughed, unconvinced. “You’ll lead us to a win tonight. I can feel it.”

I left his office wondering if I’d made a mistake. Hockey wasn’t even a game I’d chosen. My dad had pushed me into it, and eventually I’d grown to love it. He’d been right about that much. But I’d never wanted to give him the satisfaction of saying, I told you so.

So I’d hidden what I could do. 

Then I saw her in class.

For a second, I wondered if I’d imagined her again. But there she was, real and close enough to speak to. My heart fluttered, and I knew I had to find a reason to talk to her.

I did. 

She wasn’t easily impressed. That much became clear when she turned me down for offering her my chair. 

Then she showed up at the game.

I was glad she’d come. I wanted her to notice me, but she left early, before I could even figure out whether she’d been watching. Our team won, and I should’ve been celebrating. Instead, I kept thinking about her.

~~~

The next morning, I spot her with Lynn. They seem to be getting closer, so I call Lynn over. When I introduce myself to Rory Anne, I hold out my hand, hoping she’ll take it.

She looks at my hand like I'm offering her something unpleasant.

I joke that she won’t fall in love with me from one handshake. She finally takes it.  For one second, her fingers rest against mine. Then she jerks away as if I’d shocked her. 

She hurries into the classroom without looking back.

“Are you sure she’s fine?” I ask Lynn as I follow them inside.

She shrugs. “I’ll ask her during the break.”

I take the seat in front of Rory. She doesn’t look at me. Her attention is fixed somewhere far away, and for once, I can’t think of anything clever to say to get it back.

When the school bell rings, I groan, shutting my eyes for a second before reaching for my bag. When I turn around, she's already gone.

I grab my things and head out.

A few minutes later, I pull up outside a familiar building and switch off the engine. I sit there briefly, tapping my fingers against the steering wheel before finally getting out.

I walk up to the entrance and knock.

“Come on in.”

I turn the handle and step inside.

“Welcome, Chase. You’re on time,” my therapist says.